European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 4, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Friday discs Mem 1987 the stars and stripes Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i am sending on some suggestions thai might be helpful tar families who will be facing an empty chair at a Holiday table. I Hope you will print them. J.h.l., mothers against drunk driving Hurst Texas Darj your timing a perfect think you for your . You arc facing the holidays Juu luvs wiil be missing. You Sec intact families everywhere on to screens in Magazine ads on Holiday cards joyfully celebrating. You May be overwhelmed with grief As you face an empty chair at your table. The following suggestions May help you to Cope 1. Change traditions. Havu Christmas dinner at a different House this year. It is a Paradox that the More you try to make it the same As it was before the More obvious your loved one s absence will be. 2. Balance Solitude with sociability. Solitude can renew strength. Being with people you care about can be equally important. Plan to attend some Holiday panics. You May Surpri Vou self by having a Good Lime. 3. Relive inc Happy . Pick three special memories of past holidays with your loved one. Recall them often especially if outbursts of grief seem to occur at an inappropriate time. 4. Set aside letting go Lime. Schedule specific time on your Calendar to Grieve. When you know you set aside this time it will be easier for you to postpone your Low of grief in Public. 5. Counter the conspiracy of silence. Because family and friends love you they May think icy Are doing you a favor by not mentioning your loved one for fear you will be upset. Break the ice by mentioning him or her yourself. Tell your family and friends that it is important for you to talk Abc a your loved one during the Holiday season when thai missing person is very much on your mind. 6. Find a creative outlet. Write a memorial poem or Story about your loved one and share it. Contribute to or work with a group that your loved one supported. Use the Money that you would have spent for a gift for that special person 10 buy something for someone he or she cared about. 7. Dort l forget the rest of the family. Try especially hard to make it a Good Holiday for the children. Listen to them. Talk to them. If decorating the tree or buying Christmas Girts is Loo difficult for you to do this year ask a Friend to do it for you. 8. Utilize available resources. If your Faith is important to you participate in the Holiday Church services some veterans of the Faith have a serenity a kind of Healing Wisdom. They can help you. Seek out a support group of other victims. Or Start your own Short term support group to help you through the Holiday. It is templing to conclude that life is awful during the holidays. Yes you will have some difficult limes but you can also experience some in. Having a Good time does not mean that you have forgotten your loved one or thai you loved him or her any less. Let yourself go above All. Remember that you cannot change the past. You can however take care of the present. Total recovery May never come. But what you kindle from the ashes of your tragedy is largely up to you. In a Kiln tinn syr twin Cornu in ural m. Buu ngut Cess it Raf Uton Tat. Apo 09127 to Tom Auto on of Tot u14inhm a. Skis in Wuh Hotoph of Ouck Vacti. A Mill by Flun. Baum a r. Pm rom 2e7h. Pc to Itoh. Jul Glen s3ohhok. Of irn. Wom Hatch Zenum to Japeth. Blu a Ico. Pm Soui cum Apo 090h Siphn i ets 342-Hh, Onn Huff omd bar. 0 u b Guiam Nunt. Fttdbfrtfimm0tolrtmtnu 3 euro gun Casund i h a two ddw�1t to or Van a wind wrong Tow Tom an pm Utica jul pm Mido mum put Hatm a. By Phon. Sub ask or a. Much you Una Cluro Bung it. B Sun 9ndftaar. A Corr cat. Bourqe. Apo Omar. Uhf for Ett uo-7ko or med Hera oel Suhyi Tan flu Zooi. But a 1. We o dirty Cwm Apo om9& Uta Pron et3 460-72u a kit Rutlt a i�i1 t12su Stutto Aitt of Ihunt Johvi Conwi. Sudan i i3c3 mama 119,i to Lerichi Boi 1 1. Foo Tell Leflman. Ets i his or Sruti Glav 07i1 h77b24. j a a Naif. He to. Mat. Psf. To. M Fpo it we memo of Cluny tin born. Pm Byumg. Learn 1 10. Go a Impi. Apo Nhot Imp Liori ets 350-4704 or we Vitus a. Om1.71m. Concu utom ont off Huri a flt. A b331sj4. In a 7. Ets 1324112. , on b91u. Fri Bill. Ets 343-a1i9. . Frankfurt a out 6920m a Mimi. My was or 7ioj. Ets to in or 7103, tlu41j712 Urmett town. A inn a std79. My Van titty 7100, et541 7100 Munch a a90iu1 of 0001304. Fri us. Ets 44d-um . A. 712sh.nl 7001. Ets 1w700i. Stagin. Of 07119711491. My bc30 ets4hm030 Italy Varua Civ 5 Isoif Spain a ind. My dto4 1 1 Fyk Teao or m looj41 4vs to Icv Lute. At uu72. Rutn 5an3 to Ohn Lurn common in a mme Ous 4j, a , oi3s 46j43 .1 909
