European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 16, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes wednesday december 16,1987 today s crossword looking under underwear ads by Andy Rooney for Many years i forc Propec had clothes dryers in i hair basements every Young Hoy s knowledge of what women wore under their dresses was formed by Whai he 5.1 hanging from clotheslines in backyards. It was a Mure realistic Piui ire of the Ruih than Uhal a Young Hoy sees today. When underwear was Linc out to dry scars. Koe Huck was advertising women s underwear in its Catalon to show How warm and practical underwear was. The women Modelin the undergarments were not All Huilt like Marilyn Monroe and there was Bolliing Ghoul the ads thai would cause readers to linger Over them if they weren t in tie Market fur the product. Somewhere along the line something went wrong. If the ads carried in the Slick women s magazines today were printed in Playboy someone would be Irving to Han them from 1hc Newsstands. Perfectly respectable be pc who would t dream of having pit mrs of mostly naked women around he House have these magazines right on the living room Coffee tables where everyone can see m nol complaining mind you. Just commenting. The underwear ads arc Sci ice and More provocative because inc women in the ads look like intelligent likable women. They Don t look like the Lough been around broads who appear naked for inc men s magazines. Even though the women in the underwear ads look Prim and proper it is apparently difficult to gel Nice women to do this kind of posing. As an induce Mentlo get them to do it. Inc ones who stand there having their pictures taken in underwear arc paid More than the ones who Are pictured fully clothed. My que lion is this though does the average woman really imagine that she ii look like the women in the ads if she buys the underwear they re Selling under the underwear the women in he ads have one in a million near perfect bodies. Should think the average woman would feel terrible every time she looked Al an underwear and. How is she Ever going 10 live up to the image you could say the average Man might feel the same Inadequacy when he looks at the unnaturally handsome dog in inc shirt and but at least the Man in the shirt and has his clothes on. La l hard to believe Many women Are fooled int buying inc underwear being advertised because they think they will look like the women in the ads if they Wear it. 1 even find the ads make a strange Assumption. They seem to assume that a lol of people Are going to see women in their underwear. There Are lots of fur coat ads in the Maga , looking Al the underwear ads you realize Why in is women need fur coals. � we were Silling at breakfast sunday morning read ing the paper and sipping second cups of collect when Margie started muttering angrily. I went on Reading and sipping because 1 assumed our pics Ideal had done something to displease her again. He docs thai so regularly thai it is nol cause for me to Stop doing whatever in is i m doing. As a matter of fact i should Stop for a minute Here to say that 1 owe president Reagan a debt of gratitude. He has saved our marriage countless limes. Just when Margie is mad enough at me to leave Home president Reagan has always come Riding to my Rescue. He says something Hal makes her so mad at him that she forgets How mad she is at time however in was not the president who had Margie mull ring. This time it was the developers Over the years the developers Are third follow ing the president and me on a list of things thai stir Margie up. President Reagan has never to my knowl Edge paid the slightest bit of attention to my wife or to what she mutters Al breakfast sunday morning and although she has joined a lot of committees Over the years trying to inhibit their actions the developers Haven t paid much alien lion to her cipher. Within the past 10 years despite her efforts against them developers have changed the look of our neigh boyhood by erecting dozens of Small houses near ours on what used to be empty lots or lots occupied by attractive though deteriorating old All the years i be been aware of developers or have read about the actions of citizens committee formed to Stop them i have never seen the cilia cons succeed. The Good Guys have never won. The developers have always Conlin cd to develop to their hearts Content. If inc Community has a zoning Board the foxes usually Are guarding the Henhouse. The Issue in question sunday morning was not a local one. Donald Trump the Young tycoon has pro posed putting up a 150-Story building in new York City and my response to Margie s indignation was an indifferent shrug that Only raised the level of her rage. Donald Trump and i were two of a kind. She was mad Al me for nol being mad at does t sound so bad to me i said trying to quiet her Down while i read the sports you know How Long a Shadow a 1 50-Slory building would Casl she asked. How Many people would t have Sun this sounded like geometry to me and i had to admit i did t you write Aboul this you better know what you re talking she was a Low blow. Now she was in Keg Al the very heart of a columnist s ability to make a living. 11 she eur pacts me to know what i m talking Aboul every Lime i write a column i m in did do a Little research though. Of inc word develop my old dictionary says to grow Fuller larger bet ter.". The words have taken on new meanings recently. The word develop has acquired an opprobrious connotation. To say of someone he s a developers not a compliment. These Days when people think of a Developer they think of someone who Knockdown something Nice to erect something bad that makes Money. You ought to help fight this Margie said. I m flattered that she thinks 1 have the kind of strength to fight a Developer like Donald Trump but it s like asking me to Challenge Mike Tyson for the heavyweight championship of the world. Mike Tyson and developers Knock people Down and no average citizen can stand up to them. 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