European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 7, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns hey kids Here comes goofy acting whimsical by Dave Barry Kofl Ghl Fidder newspaper irs .1 sunday evening. We re driving Home from Orlando fla., where we have alien our son Robby anti his Friend Erik for a birthday weekend of fantasy and fun and hurling Money Al random around he  Walt you will have fun Disney magical world of theme kingdoms and resort Complex. We re taking what the american automobile  has designated As the Scenic route in k i n mum through South Central Florida a ref ton that used to Cater primarily to frogs. Inn cent years the area has sprouted dozens of Jii ult which we used to Call retired person Chin Mun Ilies with names like Belle Harbour Vina.  Townes estates Centre West ii consisting of whal we used to Call trailers and inter Mobile Timi  and still later manufactured  i Kiwi l know what we Call them now. Job ably mime Honfi like country Low Home Villas As in it Vij t a tester s cow knocked Over your country him Home Villa again wave been driving Tor three maybe eight hours. I n i my Jack scat he boys have finished writing on their forearms with official Walt Disney world Loun tier Felt tipped markers and arc now passing the tiny with a game they have invented with their soaring childhood imaginations spitting on each other Pino goes Robby. Too goes Erik. Too goes Robby. This Iftode game of saliva Tennis to dearly audible in the front seat but Beth and i the parental authority figures say nothing. We Are both thinking the same thing at least they Are taking turns. That to to Low we have sunk on this car trip. We frankly would not mind if they were Back there shooting High powered Rifle out the window As Long As they shared it but of course they would t. No Fairl Robby would shout. Erik got three Shols and i Only Gol two but he won t give me Back the Rifle i want my third shall and Erik would , but Robby hit the Farmer and i did t even hit anybody and Robby would say you did sol you Hll the policeman on your third shot and Erik would say Only his Hall finally one of a authority figures would whirl and snap if you two boys can t share the Rifle we re going to have to Lake it away and then nobody Wilt be me to shoot  we always get irritable like this when we return to harsh reality Afler a couple of Days in Walt you Are having some fun now Yost Disney resort and world and compound. It s a place where your dreams come True if you dream about having people wearing enormous cartoon animal Heads come to your restaurant table and act whimsical and refuse to go away until you laugh Wilh Delight. This happens to you constantly at Disney world. I think it s part of d corporate discipline program for Disney executives. Johnson your department is Over budget again. You know Vhal hat  no please no yes into the goofy suit we saw a lol of goofy. Every time we sat Down to eat there hts would be acting whimsical. It got so that Robby and Erik busily playing Wilh i Clr action figures hardly even noticed him. Look boys we would say food dribbling Down our chins. Here come goofy again Robby not even looking tip would a Vul one of his figures toward Erik and say this Guy Send out a laser beam thai can melt your  of yeah Erik would say. Well this Guy makes noise like Soonim Mumm a Aadahl that goes in through your ears and explodes your whole head meanwhile right behind them encased in a heavy costume this poor person probably the executive vice president for group sales would be writhing around trying desperately to fulfil the boys innocent childhood fantasies. Finally we grown ups would have to let him off the Holt. A a. Goofy we would say speaking directly into the Salt Shaker which is where we figured the microphone had been hidden by the Walt Disney world whimsy police. You sure Are causing us to laugh Wilh Delight a Don t gel me wrong. I like Disney world. The rest rooms Are clean enough for neurosurgery and the employees say things Lle Howdy foils and actually seem to mean it. You wonder where do they gel these people my guns 19s2. I think old Wall realized Way Back then that there would eventually be a shortage of cheerful people so he put All the residents of southwestern Nebraska into a giant Freezer Wilh a huge picture of Jimmny Cricket on the outside and the corporation has been thawing them out As needed Ever since whatever the secret is it work and i urge you All to a Lull Disney world several dozen times. Afterwards i recommend that you drive Down la Miami an the Scenic route although if you notice two boys Ages 6 and 7, standing on the Side of the Road and spitting at each other my advice is not to pick them up. How to Tell the waiter you simply could t finish by miss manners United future Syndicate d ear miss manners i am 4 Smalt person with a Small appetite and often am unable to Eal everything that is placed in front of i. Many limes in All types of restaurants i be had id endure countless people coming aver to my table wanting to know what was the Mailer with the food and insisting on replacing it Wilh another entree. I realize their intentions May be Good but their attention is humiliating. Grown up should t be made to feel guilty Tor not cleaning their Plain especially when they re paying for the waited food. I always try to be Ira Tous about the fuss but once i almost ended up in lean Over the waiter insistence on bringing me something else. Should t Wallen limply Clear away the Tatei without commenting on any food thai remain to Gentie readier Well yes but mrss manners finds this concern slightly More understandable  similar behaviour in hosts who comment on Vhal their guest fall to eat and urge them to consume More. Restaurants Are after All in the business of Selling food. Miss manners has to repeat this Flen because i Nuny people believe that restaurants actually sell wind Moln and Public prestige for which one must pay in Lucia credential As Well As Money a conscientious waiter May Well worry that the t Umi Milt who bought but did not finish the food was actually dissatisfied Bur Loo timid to say so by cause of that very mystique mentioned above. It inhibits the Ordinary complaints one makes in unsatisfactory Rorn Mercial transactions. To answer his Juery without there being fuss you say firmly Ever Diing was quite satisfactory thank you very much i Hope to Dine Here again the sullied wording k there on purpose. You will find Hal it lends itself to Jet her for practising Stiquel tearing without a License. Mind you we Only prosecute people when Thi a Are wrong. The traditional engagement was Nice and Long allegedly allowing for the Young people to make certain of their Choice but realty so thai the Trousseau which had been accumulating anyway approximately since the prospective Bride s birth. Could be completed. Nowadays an official engagement serves an even More useful purpose. You now have a word to describe what All the other mothers Are calling my daughter s Boyfriend or worse my daughter s ummmmm.,.  yours is your daughter s Fiance a Nice dignified respectable word. Go ahead and announce it. If you Supply the information about families and background the newspaper will help you with the wording. Have a question on Etui Jueli while to Mhz Man Mars in cute of the Sun Jet stripes. Apo 002 n. Your question will be forwarders to her Mia Mennen Reg Reli Irot the Chin Jrsn a questions Only in her column. 2 Tripti Iruguin i nutty 7, 1980