European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 18, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Sensuous talk show Host by Laura l Myers United press International " a woman known Asj when she Wrol Eiho shocking 1970 blockbuster these Suoi a woman is at 50, sings childless and an Early morning radio Lalk show Host thinking about marriage. Terry Joan Gar Fly author of the Book billed on us jacket As the first How to Book or Iho female who yearns Loba All woman has never married and turns 51 in january Gavrity claims a Book was the first sexual manual encouraging woman to experience orgasms published after sex therapists masters and Johnson whole their More clinical la human sexual response in 1967. The Book was written on a publisher s whim alter Varrily aul Horad a bargain basemen guide to new Yolk cily and was working As a publicist there. I inc to think like Doris Day Garrity says recalling her Lite As a 33-year-old writing the sexual shocker. Describing herself 17 years ago a wrote the author of this Book is not particularly pretty. Men never notice nor in a crowd or whistle at her when the walks Down Iha Street. Yel s most exciting males consider her to be a Chabior on Masl a Ballon caused the most stir she recalls according to me Book to awaken your body and Maki in perform Well you must train Tike an athlete or the acc love the whipped Cream wriggle a title she gave to one sox inc unique became so popular that male tans Olen mobbed her to autograph cans of the caloric treat the manual encouraged women to drive a Man to ecstasy and to explore their own sexual appetites. It was ust Liko a Cookbook she says. A Way or women to achieve sexual us Willment. In those Days women wanted to have orgasms and never know Daruty interviewed scores of women men and gynaecologist. I patterned it alter new sex therapy techniques Gavrity recalls. "1 put it in the first person so it could be cozy and i whole it in very simple language so Alt women could understand she succeeded by capturing 13 million readers and earning it million trom its first year in print. I had a lot of trouble with sexual response myself Varrily admits. Al one Point a psychiatrist Loki me to get myself a Good lifetime Hobby t would not accept now a resident of Wellington fat. A Palm Boach suburb Garrity is an insomniac who enjoys gardening and planning Chic Palm Beech garage sales she s added 35 pounds in the task year caused by stress and Odd hours of hustling with reporters half her age Lor the Palm Beach beachfront Webr where she hosts a morning Calhan program. Between assignments Garrity is writing a three generation romantic fictional novel and a photographer s Book on Palm Beach s famous personalities. She moved from new York City to Florida several years ago. After deciding she a ded a change in she also experienced a mid life depression crisis. The deepest regret of my we is not having children she says Wiat Lully. It still occasionally is a vory deep although attitudes about human sexuality have it tagged drastically during the last two decades women s sexual expectations and fantasies have not Garrity behoves. Women still want men to make it happen. And the More Independent a woman the More she wants it to happen magically Gavrity notes. In the 1970s, women saw sex As something done to them something Lor him. Something that maybe turned out wonderful for her too. Today women see sex As a partnership researching men s emotional sexual meetings prompted her to co author the sensuous Mart written in 1971 will her Brothag Johnny and an sex Ranee. I realized i could t think Ike a Man so we went Stoa room and came out a week later with the Book she lays. Despite her single years Varrily says she would like to be married in a Tew years. I think my be ready that sense Security in marriage Byann Quindlen new York times have been married almost id years to the same person. Sometimes it s hard Lor me to believe. Neither of us was sure that any human being could be expected to live Over the Long haul with anyone As stubborn opinionated and difficult As the other. Somehow it has worked and in is not a Gross exaggeration to say that this is partly because 1 am a much belter Cook than he is and to tells much belter jokes than i do a lot of people Don i understand How important these Lille things Are to a marriage. I realized this when i was Reading a Magazina article about bachelors Many of whom were participating in organized sports instead o having relationships with women just As their football coaches told them they should do when they were 17. Many of these bachelors seemed to think that both partners would have to Compromise and change a lot to stay married. Nothing is farther Tom the truth. One Touchstone of marriage is Security and nothing makes you Leel More secure than knowing exactly what another person is going 10 say or do at any Given Lime. If my husband just Oil Inola a tightly Pink pork chop and scarfed it Down instead of holding up a piece at Eye level looking at it As though ii were a murder suspect and say Fig. Is this cooked enough i d become pretty suspicious 1 can ten you that. I Felt this sense of Security just the other night. It was cold and wintry and i was gelling ready to go to sleep when my husband said to Don t like that once again t Tett that magic Little thrill you always gel when you realize that some things in your life Are immutable. It was a flannel Nightgown one of those Little numbers that looks like a Tatoul Sheller and is designed to reveal Only that the body beneath possesses Ankles. It s warm and comfortable but i be always suspected thai the Only person who would consider in seductive would be buddy Ebsen. Every year my husband looks at Ono of i desc things and says i Don t like that i guess if i were what my grandmother used to Cail a Dutiful wife i would t Wear them. But just think How Oul of Kilter my husband s whole existence would become. Luckily neither of us Ever has to Gofer Long without these Little touchstones thai keep our relationship solid. More than that i think they bring Home to to the differences Between men and women. These Are important to keep in mind because the clearest explanation Tor the failure of any marriage is that the two people Are incompatible that is one is mate and the other female. There Are All those times when i be purchased a new dress Lor a special occasion and my husband has glimpsed the telltale Price lags in the trash. Did you need a new dress he will always say once again illustrating the sax based distinction Between acc easily and desire. Or there s Cheever popular you took line without usually uttered when i am applying Eye liner five minutes after he has determined to should be in the car. The obvious answer is the Only place i be Ever gone without makeup is 1o the recovery i think h a Worth noting that i was once at 3 party at which a Man said quite loudly you look Fine without and eight women turned around each thinking it was her husband. 01 course these things can backfire Iii Over am divorced by my husband for example it will probably be because i have made in a practice throughout my life never to put the Cap Back on anything with those grounds and Iha right judge. He could probably gel the kids the House the dogs and All the toothpaste lubes As Well As the Jar of Mayonnaise that has the tinfoil folded Over the opening i am beginning to think that the Tawel Nightgown is a larger Issue figurative to and literally than it first seemed. Perhaps ii is an extended metaphor Tor the difference Between what men want dam a marriage and what women wan there s a real temptation to say that women want a relationship that is secure comfortable and enduring while men Are looking Lor excitement sex and Black lace. Obviously those Bio stereotypes. Lot of the Bachelor in the Magazine piece i read seemed to be interested in a Securo relationship although some had settled Tor ouch football instead. I oven have one Friend whose lingerie collection used to resemble the Victoria s secret catalogue she ii in love with a Man who thinks flannel nightgowns Are sexy and i know that lots of women Are interested in having some excitement in their lives although a great Many of the single women i know wish thai the excitement did t so Ollen include cheating lying and uncomfortable undergarments. It s a Little late Lor me to toll in love with a Man who likes Cotton flannel and the allure of the dowdy. I m already taken. Besides i know All his Little winning ways and he knows mine. I believe this is the secret to a successful marriage. It Beala me Why someone Ilka Madonna Lor example would think she had irreconcilable differences with Sean Perm. Now there s a Man you can count on Point a camera and he throws a punch As predictable and consistent a can be still spilling and swearing and indulging in Fiat Ruhs the same Guy today As the Day she married him. I like a certain reliability in n Man and i be got it. I put a plate of Randi Tchlo salad on the table step Back and count to five. What la this Stutru my husband says suspiciously poking ii with his Fork. In War i my heart. Page 16 the stars and stripes monday january 18,1988
