European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 19, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tuesday january 19, 1988 the stars and stripes t Arm Landers dear Ann Landers i have an 8-year-old daughter who wets her pants Al school at play at Home any Lime any j place. I have tried everything i y 1 can think of to get her to soap.  first 1 thought it might be i a medical. There is Only one Pedi v,-.-v Alric urologist in this City so i a look her to see him. He ran sever Al tests and the results revealed no organic problem the doctor recommended counselling so i look her to a psychiatrist. My husband and i Oak approximately 160,000 a year. Even so $100 a Visil put a crimp in our budget. After Sis months with no improvement we terminated the therapy. My husband says the girl is just buy. I m not so sure. The kids Are starting to make fun of her and i can t stand in. I know what it s like to be made fun of and it hurts. Children can be so cruel. We tried the Reward system ii did t work. She will wet her pants and then say something like Well i did t want the doll  Ann pm deeply concerned because i feel myself actively disliking my own child. The anger really mounts when she he an Acci Donl. I never scream or spank. I just say i m disappointed but 1 boil inside. This problem is driving me nuts. Please let me what id do. Near Sacramento Huil occurred to Yon thai it child s netting May be a Poult Etc ploy directed i Gansl you i tames thai a totally ignore the wetting and Al tame i Miry Coons Usif. You and your Dang tar and to gel Ibe kicks oat of your  us 1 doubt hit u can be Dine Ului tit profession help. Dear Ann Landers i am 73. My wife died in Yean ago. I have been concerned about a pattern Hal shows up in a great Many letters from married women who write to you. I believe we Are witnessing Ibe Onset of a cult of olympic class whiners in our country motivated by the absurd standards set by feminine oriented magazines and feminist groups. Some women complain that their husbands Are Dull Dull Dull. Perhaps they Are right but weren t they pretty Dull themselves not to notice this while court ing most of the men i have known attempt to do the Best they can with what they have. To illustrate sever Al Yean ago i attended the viewing of a male Friend. I mumbled a few words of condolence to his widow. She took my hand and said John worked hard every Day of hit life to put food on his family s table. 1 admired and respected him for  what a testimonial to a dead husband talk about being damned by faint Praise. Today s woman is constantly Denning and redefining her role As a mate. She linkers with this critical definition As though it had no More importance than a Hemline. She copies the most a Eccl fad which is con tract breaking whenever she is dissatisfied or inconvenienced. I like women Ann but in my opinion they Are ruining it for themselves by being self entered Loo de manding Loo critical and Loo aggressive. What they perceive As Progress can set them Back 50 years. . Garland Texas de Texas Yon Lay you like women am no evidence of it in out four tagged diatribe Yon just delivered 1 Iti in your letter will produce some sizzling rebut tals. Ill print the but one. Lot Anaam. Term sent fut Coho nut land i wet com your let Uvrl toil on my to in n Oil of to Sll l us snip. Of 09111. U s. Page 11 letters Dodds chief clarifies staffing policies i am writing Thi letter in the Hopes that you May be Able to dear up some confusion for me. Until my recent marriage t was a teacher in the United state. I have six Yean of leaching it Perince a Bachelor degree in elementary education a master s degree in special education plus 23 credit hours of Post graduate classes. In addition have spent the bit two years of my leaching career As a consultant instructing special education teachers on the integrated use of computer in the classroom. While i a in the United states i applied to the department of defense for a teaching position. I was granted an interview within three months alter submitting my application the principal who inter viewed me was impressed with my credentials. He informed me thai Only a Small portion of applicant Are interviewed every year and thought i would have no trouble getting a Job with the department of defense. Shortly thereafter t decided to get married and follow my husband to England. Al this Point i re Quested consideration for placement by the depart ment of defense in England. I was informed by the department of defense that my application would be withdrawn As applicants must be available for worldwide placement. Prior to my arrival my husband had been told that 1 would Nave no problem getting a Job due to my qualification. Yet upon my arrival i applied for a leaching position Only to discover that Al though 1 was led to believe that spouses have prefer ence just the opposite exists. Stateside teachers have preferential treatment. This is where the source of my confusion lies. I do not understand Why for All intents and purposes. I was now at the Bottom of a list. If i Baa chosen to stay in the Usa and go through the department of defense then 1 would have had to accept an assign ment other than England Leach a year and then put in for a hardship Transfer to be in the same country As my husband. This whole system seems ludicrous to me. Why Are military wives punished for following their Hus bands if a qualified applicant exists at the local site they should be chosen first. I know that 1 am More than qualified to teach and yet i find myself unemployed while others Are chosen from the stateside listing. It is True thai military wives have the toughest Job in the service. We leave our Homes families friends uproot our children and give up our careers id be with our husbands and yet we Are continually punished for doing so. I understood Hal the Mili tary valued the family unit and yet encourages just the opposite. 1 would appreciate in if you can help me dear up once and for All the department of defense regulations regarding the hiring of teachers for the overseas school systems. No and location withheld editor s note John l. Stimple director. Department of def Row dependent schools Texin Driva repute the department of defense dependent schools Dodds educator Poil Lonj to staffed through appointment  promotion Denh Lfan or detail of u employee. It is dodos Etui to identify and employ the but qualified and capable educator to Ait our dec ecu school. To attain this objective the system provide for recruitment of educator from sukh in the United states and of Teram. Applicants applying through the a jul n Chr sent program most be available for worldwide placement Doddi Tiu Anayi bad a positive program for the  of eligible family attn bin of military and Federal  assigned Blokh and h a oar policy to inert qualified is astr of Wimbeis a prefer ence to employment. This preference is afforded to toe amut no Ana of the sponsor s in tar station and does not apply to the family members of reared tit town or it Init employed by prime firm Cun Dauirs for All Posl Lmh ant by eligible and in Lifite for the positions for which tier Are considered. Family it men m Tahnyi co nildred Helm Nonit int of a Cut uate from it United stain to initiated. However we Mutt project our Daffian needs wry Ray in order la commit Quality Candida Lei us Bare our a Boot properly staffed by the Bra tuning of Eek school Yar. In january of each year wind als urn Talfy actual and in felled in Coda for Ibe subsequent feh ool year. Thok Naa Estt an offered to or Reilly enl Nytz do Caton the nigh the Transfer program which Belna in feb mry upon con Clinion of the Transfer program Osu Allt in april of each year the nmn Ninn Kacandes at led through to orcs Mcneur us in the United states. Therefore family members who Are not Orensen by then Tuu ally cannot be Given consideration and May Watt Haalil the fallowing sch cml year to receive Coulder Atlon for a . We Hope thai Lafo Ruttan helps clarify Dodds tuning procedures. Reader says prejudice Mars critic s View you recently published a Reader s response to the Story of an american woman who went to Iran against the advice of the . Government. Since unfortunately the Altitude of that Reader reflects the attitudes of Many others 1 fed compelled to comment on it. In the Story the woman told of the warmth kind Ness and hospitality of the iranian people she met. The Reader s response suggested thai this kindness would last Only until Iran got More of our weapons to use against americans in the persian Gulf. I m aware of the fact that there Are Many anti Amer ican iranians who would do anything to get More of our weapons to use against us. However the whole idea of the general Public being Nice to this one woman until its government could buy More of our arms is in my opinion a ridiculously close minded and foolish Way of thinking i m against the iranian government s aggression. Bui i strongly double that every single cilia in of any Given country will have the same values. We should t judge people by the government of the country in which they happen to be citizens. I m convinced Hal the woman who weal to Iran met some genuinely Good natured fellow human beings who want peace not arms. The Reader s letter did i mention Why the woman went. It must have taken lots of courage Lor an american logo into Iran to visit a loved one in prison for alleged spying. She deserves a Little credit for Hal. To say let her live there so that if she has a 14-year-old boy he May be drafted into their War k cruel. 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