European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 22, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Friday. January 22,1988 column today s crossword taking aim on leap year options by Andy Hornev the Good news about 1988 is we gel a extra Day. We have 3ft 10 play with instead of the usual 365 be cause in s a leap year. Every year is a leap year that you can Divide evenly by four. The exception to hat Rule is the last year in a Century. Every four centuries the last year of the Cen Lury is divisible by 400. The year 2000, for rumple will be a leap year. 1 really would t worry about this jail item finl armarion because it Only conies up every 400 years the year 2000 is the last year of the 2ffih a Colury. Not inc first year of the 21st. That Comet Al Midnight Jan. 1, 2001. You Aren l t year old the Day you re bom. You Aren l i until your first birthday. Please Slop me if i m telling you More about leap year than you want to know. We have leap year because astronomical phenom Ena like the Earth and the Sun Don t recognize the order we have tried to impose on their gyrations with our Calendar. The egyptians figured out that the year was 3ss Days Long Way Lack in about 4000  hut they probably owl know what to do with the leftover Quarter of a Day. Some roman astronomers suspected something was wrong and after doing some checking icy discovered that the old Calendar they were using was 90 Days ahead of the Sun. Julius Caesar was a Man of Aelion so he had the Calendar changed to what was called the Julian Calendar. It was based on a year thai lasted 365v-. Days. To make up for the Quarter Day every four years Julius decided on this leap year gimmick. But even the romans did t have it quite right because the real Sun year is 11 minutes and 12 seconds Shorter ihan365 /. Days. By 1582 these 11 minutes had added up o id Days. The Calendar was Holtby that much and Pope Gregory Xiii got our current Gregorian Calendar named after himself by having one invented that lakes All these variables into consideration. Now there s a difference of Only 26 seconds Between the real year and our Calendar year and that s Only one Day in 3,323 years. Who s counting since i found of we gel an extra Day this year i pc been thinking of what to do Wilh it. There Are a lot of hard words i be been meaning to look up. I could do that All Day that extra Day then i d be Able to read Bill Buckley s column. I be been meaning to make real pal out of a pile of socks in my drawer. That would take a Day. I Don i Wear a Blue sock with a Brown one but i Haven i been too fussy about Matching the shades of Blue or Brown when 1 find two socks roughly the same color. The letters i be been meaning to write would fill the Day but so would the books i be been meaning to read inc movies i be wanted to we and the old friends Ive meant to Call. Leap year is not the Only Good thing about 1988. Christmas i on a sunday and that used 10 be bad but it in t anymore. It used o be thai working people wet Gyp Ped out of a Day off when Christmas came on Sun Day Bui no longer. This year monday will be an official Holiday almost everywhere and that will make our Days off almost the same As this year when Christmas came on Friday. Not Many worked thursday cd Rutemu eve and new year s Ever in 1987 and chances Are not Many will work Friday this year. Long weekends have become a Way of life in America. July fourth Falls on a monday in 1988. Last year 11 was on saturday which made in harder to goof off although a lot of people look Friday. You can Bel a lol will Lake Friday this year. Thanksgiving will be nov. 24. Ii was the 2fith this past year soil b give us two extra Days for Christmas shopping. If there Are any further questions Aboul leap year write Julius Caesar. There Are some things about the human body that probably would be different if it were being created for 1988. Take the ear for example. Before he invention of automobile horns ambulance sirens Jet engines dynamite pneumatic Jack hammers and Rock music the Earth was a Quiel place on which to live. When you consider inc noise to which we Are All subjected everywhere we go in seems certain that a Wise Cre Ator working on the human body today would make it . Why is that when faced with a scene too Homble to look at we can Cul off the vision Ofil in a Flash with a blink of our eyes and yet when a sound is equally offensive we have to listen something s wrong Here. I suppose in in l beyond the Range of possibility that a deft surgeon could fix us up with a Button on the wrist that turned off our sound receptors. In would make life in a big City a lot More plea san. Our eyes Are More versatile in every Way than our care. Our cars Don t Flap or retract. They just Slick out there taking everything in that comes their Way. The eyes can discriminate but not the cars. If the eyes gel too much Isahl. The Pupil gels very Small and lets in less of the Light. If there s a drum being pounded a fool from your car the car does t Nap shut As it should. When you get right Down Loil the car is one of the dumbest parts of our body and furthermore it adds nothing to our appearance. 1 cannot offhand think of a woman i Admire for her cars. I those Africa ii countries a Lio hang rings from their noses. Neither the nose nor the car is part of the human Anatomy that should have any unnecessary at Tention called to it. An ear is about As Good looking As a big toe. Big toes have the advantage of being covered most of the time whereas ears arc Nghil out there in the open and in a prominent place where everyone can Sec them and laugh at them. Cartoonists go for the ears because they know in i our weak Point. When Walt Disney wanted to make one of he seven dwarfs dumb he created Dopey and gave him big can. When they made the television show Star trek and wanted to give Leonard Ninoy an outer worldly look they gave him pointy ears. I resent the fact that every Modem sound machine whether it s a radio a television set or a record player. Has a control dial that enables the player to turn up the volume to n Peak of piercing shrillness and yet the human car has no comparable ability to turn off its volume  s wrong Here. Iffy he it is go whose Wall thl May not but on a tint Dert but in gotta try your game wharf Rait