European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 4, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns at least we know How much a Rutabaga costs by Dave Barry newspapers we Are attempting i Purt ii new car and i have just one k Undy Little tin lion Why Wun l they Ever Tell you Rev my h in until let s say you re in Lii m.irke1 for n . � example. Vou no Lull supermarket Anil the Lilin is Lav is a sign ing Ilie Price of the , allowing you to deckle instantly whether it is in your Price Range. If in is you simply pay to amount Anri take i our Rutabaga Home and Ihen you hurl it Inlo a tour garbage . Al least that s what i would ill because i detest rutabagas. But when Yim Wall Inlo a car Dealership Yuu entering consumer he it. There is no easy Way in final nut what air Iceon any riven n. Of sure Thuro High sticker Prev. But Only a very , fungal cart lure just Arrivi in from a Distant Galaxy would dream of paying Price. In fact Law now requires Hal the following a Wal appear directly under the Slicker Price warning to stupid people tin nol pay the above Inonu no. The Only to find jul the Huttl Price is to undergo a in Luemily style Inilisi Ilion. First you squint at the sticker whih Ink the car s 163 special features none of which you could tvs a locale n the Acle Attar i Divise they All sound like rocket parts is in Len verse mount a induced torque modality promo link is then a salesperson comes siding lows ids you in in extremely casual Fash in do nol attempt 1o escape however an experienced car i prion can sidle Greal distances at upwards Tif 45 Mph and chillers cml length about the extreme advantages no whatever car you Are looking at ii has your obverse shafted genuine Calfskin Bivalve exude is. But if you ask him the True Price tic will make some vague confucius Type statement Tike Dave we arc definitely willing to go the extra mile to Pul a smile on your but Haw much dues it Cost you ask. Frankly Dave he says lowering Hii voice to indicate thai you and he have become close personal friends this has been a flow month and 1 think Dave if we ii Down and Cut bait we can come up with a number that we can play Ball what number you say. Tell me the Dave he Days i think if we both pull on our oars Here we can put the icing on he cake and strike while the Iron is still hoi the easiest solution of course. Is to simply pull out a loaded revolver and say Tell me How much this car costs or i will kill you unfortunately it is still a Misdemeanour in some Stales to shoot a car salesperson so eventually you have to Start guessing at the Price is it More than $9,500" ii is very similar to the childhood game of 20 questions Only in lakes much longer because instead of saying yes or no the salesperson always answers let me talk to my manager the manager is comparable to the wizard Fot in omnipotent bring who behind the curtain and pulls the levers and decides whether of nol the cowardly lion will gel a free Sunroof. I have never heard a conversation Between a manager and a salesperson but i assume it goes like this salesperson of wants to know if it s More than 49,500. Pm i Tell him Manotti mow Many limes have you called him by his first name salesperson about a thousand manager nol pc so it can take hours i determine the True proc and his is just for one car. If you want to find out the Price of another Brand of car you have to go through the entire fraternity initiation All Over again and there Are thousands of brands of cars out there. Back when i was a child and Abraham Lincoln was the presidium there were Only about four kinds of cars All of them manufactured by general motors or Ford but now you St new dealerships springing up on a daily basis Selling cars you never heard of cars whose names sound like the noise that karate experts make just before they break slabs of Concrete with their foreheads Hyundai so far the cars we have looked at include the Mimosa Uhuru 2000-Lxj the Mikado Sabrina Mark Xvi Mcm the Ford a Diroso which is actually the same As the Chevrolet Sombrero the jeep violent Savage and the Chrysler Towne Centre Coupe de Grace which is manufactured partly in Asia engine transmission body and partly in the United Stales ashtray. They Are All Fine cars but Al the present time based on our discussions Wilh the various salespersons we re leaning toward the Rutabaga. Don t exclude bridegroom s Young daughter by miss manners United Oil re synd Joe dear miss manners i m marrying for the firs Lime and my Hui hand out will Fae marrying for the second time. He has a 9-year-old daughter. I plan to have a Small wedding party my sister As null Al Honor my 11-Ycar-old Niece is Junior bridesmaid and my Fiance s in tend Best Man. My Nephew 13, will escort me Down the aisle and will exit As the Junior bridesmaid s Ricort. The problem i that 1 do not want to have my Fiance s daughter in the wedding parly. There Are several reasons but a primary one is that 11 col too Many children will then be involved. I plan to have her participate in the ceremony by helping with if offertory rite. She and iwo of my Viilers will bring gifts to the Allar. Will i be looked Down upon for nol having her in the bridal party since i have two other children in Ili also ii in cruel of me to have her escorted Home Afler the dinner before the dancing begins she will have no supervision at the reception and i Danol with to impose on my Guels to baby sit. Gentle Reader yes you arc being cruel and miss manners begs you to reconsider. You Are making it Clear Hal you consider the effect of the wedding party the number of children in it to be More important than this child s feelings you Are also being foolish perhaps you do not realize How much this child and her Altitude toward you Wilt affect your marriage. Your plans contain two innovations that miss manners does t like having a child in the place usually occupied by the Bride s father or guardian and having presents hauled up the aisle. Surely you can manage the More usual and emotionally rewarding modern innovation of including children from previous marriages whom the Union Wilt so seriously affect As a prominent part of wedding. her if Choice of being an attendant or simply standing near the father Al the altar Vou should also allow her to stay up for such an important occasion. T Here will be no dearth of child Loving people to fuss Over her. Dear miss manners i was Al a luncheon Given by a Large organization in hotel dining room where we were sealed six to eight at a table. Across from me was a very Good Friend who is known la everyone As a Correct and charitable lady. Everyone was sealed so close they were almost touching. Our wait Rem had to squeeze very awkwardly Between my Mirlend f chair and that of the lady scaled Al the Back to serve the people in the Middle. I broke off what i was saying and asked my Friend could you scoot your chair in a Ilelle to she can gel through she responded sharply certainly not. Thai s what she s paid 1 do not belong to the hello i m Kelly your waitress school but i Wai brought up to believe that Breeding and etiquette it More accurately measured by How of treats one subordinates than by How one Tarcali Ono i peer. I would t do the Willress s work for her but what s the harm n making it a Little easier do we assume that etiquette dictates ignoring the help completely was my request improper gentle Reader Why do people even consider blaming etiquette itself for rudeness briefly the Rule about not helping the help Means that you do not t. Disrupt inc service and violate the standards of the restaurant by such activities at stacking the plates 2. Interject the Assumption of a social relationship Wilh workers Olio arc on duly treating them or feeling obliged to respond to them As if they were friends who happen to be wailing on you. There has never been and never will be an etiquette Rule permitting let alone encouraging anyone to make such a callous remark and uncooperative gesture As you describe. On the contrary the Rule about service people is the one you have Learned consideration for Lam is even More important than toward those who Are in position to speak Back. 1999 trip to maj line 3
