European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 16, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Pago 10 letters the stars and stripes military wives react to writer s complaints i d like id Point out a few things to inc Young army wife who is troubled by inc amount of Lime her Hus band spend on duly. There is something very important you seem to be missing Here. When your husband raised his right hand and Aid i do solemnly  his first and forc menu Obliga Linn became inc . Army to is up to the Soldier love Phis family understand this obligation. As far As Field cur discs go. Just How Long do you think your husband would survive in time of War if he were not adequately trained during peacetime to Deal with thaw situations Battlefield iral n ing can be fatal. I sure Jour husband s Chain of command is not insensitive to your needs they have families too. But the Mission does come first. There arc support pro Grams available bul they won t come knocking on your door. You must male the Effort to gel involved. There arc a lot of other women sharing your shoes. The army is not responsible for the divorce rate it is the Lack of understanding and communication be tween spouse that causes a marriage to fail. The Ocul time your husband has co Send along Norm  cookies or Popcorn. A piping hot thermos of Coffee would he very Welcome after walking guard in the chill night air. Before his nest Field prob Lem you might write him a letter to let him know How much you care and appreciate whal he s doing to protect your Freedom. Tuck Hal idler into his pocket or bag so he a find it while he s sitting in the rain Caling cold res. Your  will make his time in inc Field much easier. Your Hus hand can show his support by lolling you know How Well you run inc household making special plans for inc time he docs have off and by telling you Huw much he appreciates the things you do for him. In regards la parenthood Laking care of a baby is much Mare Lime consuming than making one. Because your husband s duly requirements will not change with the birth or a child the majority of the child rearing will be your responsibility. Please take this into consideration before you have children. As a fellow army wife and Mother of three. 1 under stand How you led. By it s up to you and your Hus band to make he most of the Lime you do Nave together.  Schwa Hisch ground Germany i am a 36-year-old army wife. My husband is a sergeant first class. He enjoys being Here except for All inc Field is cruises. Working late and duly on weekends. Except for  age and his rank the similarity be tween you and  ends. If Jour husband s unit spends As much Lime in the Field As you say he does it s for one of two reasons i i s a unit that has to be combat ready 24 hours a Day or i the unil is so bad it needs All the Iraq neg in can get. This May he peacetime but if he were  husband. I d rather he trained now so he can slay alive during a War. Then i d have him More years later than a few More hours now. As for his guard and cd usually a specialist four Only has duly once very couple of months. As for week end s. That s even less. Yet he has the next Day off. My brother As a civilian is away from wife family Anu Home monday through Friday most limes. Saturdays too yet he gets Only two weeks off a year. So 3d Days leave sounds great to him. The army talks of caring and family Unity. 1 remember when e-5s and below were nol allowed to bring their families. I sure a tint sergeant s wife or a ser Geant major s wife could Tell you of a few More changes. As for the divorce Rale Don t blame the duty. If those people spent the time together you re talking about they d have divorced sooner. As for having babies  husband had the distinction of being a Drill sergeant. Me worked from 4 30 am 10 11 p m., seven Days a week for eight weeks. He usually Only had iwo weeks off Between cycles. This went on for Over two years yet we found the Lime for  to gel pregnant. After All it Only lakes one night. My advise to you and your husband is to think before he re enlists. Believe  it does t gel easier nol if he plans to be a Good no. You see  Hus band is at work before yours comes in and after he s Long gone. There is plenty to Gripe about in the military. The pay. The medical earn the Lack of food choices at the commissaries inc list Joes on and on. Just remember it s not the Quantity hut the Quality of time spent together. . Cannon body run Germany i am also an army wife. 1 have been married quite a few Mare years than the recent writer. 1 was married Al fort Campbell by. My husband s first sergeant talked to  before we were married and explained  role As an infantry Man s wife. Every year when we celebrate our anniversary t always Send this first sergeant a thank you note for helping  make in through another year. The Best advice he gave  was make the time together count. He also gave  a laminated newspaper clipping will a recipe for being a military wife this recipe and the first sergeant s advice have served  through Many years As an army wife. There were times when i Only saw  husband three months out of the year and we were both living in the same House except when he was in the Field. There have been some Prilly lonely holidays like when he was in Korea or when he was jus Oul in the Field for birth Days anniversaries Etc. This is our third Lour in Europe. It will be our Lasi. I have Many fond memories of other limes spent Here. Ocl  give you some advice. Like anything else you pursue in this life you Only act Back what you Pui in. If you put your Lime into company activities and support their role you will see How Little time you have to worry about to often your husband has duly works late or is in the Field. Also Here s the recipe a military wife 1 Vic patience 2 Tai. Elbow grease i in. Courage 1 c. Tolerance a dash of adventure. Marinate frequently with Salty tears and pour off excess fat. Sprinkle Ever so lightly with Money knead ing dough Good until payday. Season with in Calion so spices. Bake for 20 years or until done. Serve with Pride name withheld  we As wives of service members Are a special Breed to lakes someone who can bean Independent individual someone who is willing 10 make sacrifice. My husband is a staff sergeant. In nil eight years of military service he has experienced everything from shia work to being the personal Security to Gen. Cart Vuono to being a Drill sergeant and now hours Al a Remote physical Security site thai would make two week in line Field seem like a vacation at club med. Yes i. Loo feel the hours Are Long and i Loo have spent Many nights alone Bat in com with the territory in a Community the size of Frankfurt there must be something to till your time. Volunteer for acs the red Cross the elementary school in your area or the Chapel. Check with your education Center. In your area the education Center should have the facilities to offer anything from a ged to graduate courses. Financial Aid is available for the asking so Lack of Money cannot be an excuse. A professional athlete would nol train two months out of 12 for an upcoming athletic meet. His training is a seven Dayi Al week ofis Days a year Job. Your Hus band is a professional Soldier. Do you honestly feel that two months s year is enough training la keep him alive in Lime of War the More training he he the More insurance you have that he will come Home to you alive. Training it just one of the sacrifices that we have of make. As with anything in life you must Lake the Good with the bad. Unfortunately the degree of Canna and family support varies from command to command. There Are going to be limes when you have to care for the entire command. You will have to reach inside yourself to find thai reassurance to your husband that you will be there at the and of whal seems to be another endless Day. You can do in. Why should you because you Are one of a special Breed. Join Phillips Kilm lantern this is nothing just wait until your husband gets some rank. Whal Are you going to say when he comes Home iwo Days before payday and tells you he needs s50 to Paini the Barracks for an inspection on payday and there in t enough time to get the Palm through the army or whal Are you going to say on your anniversary when the  Calls at Midnight for your husband to come and get private so and so Oul of jail the Only thing you can really say then is. Honey ride your Bike we be been  what Are you going to say if your husband is responsible Abr tools and the Day they were counting the tools most of them were in the Field Ami could nol be counted two weeks later he brings Home his paycheck minus j350 that s what the army id those tool were won. You talk about divorces. Have you already forgot your wedding in Good and in bad limes for belief and for worse. Just be glad that he likes his Job and hang in there with him. There will be limes when you forget about the Long extra hours like when he comes Home with a trophy far Best it Olson ice genl or when his privates Start calling you mom. A Gritt Moorer Riihl germ any o Monitor appeals for help understanding . _ i u Newl rth no Munct civilian. This could be due told Here s anal her ice scr about military bus monitors and Ghoul monitoring in general. Since i live and Monitor in the Hanau military Community. I can Only Pipcak about How things arc Here. We us 54 buses to transport More than 2.400 Stu dents travelling 3.500 Kilometres making 363 stops in 11b towns Isicc each school Day. Good sen ice depends Noi Only on technical efficiency bul even More on Safe student conduct aboard lie buses and at bus slops to enhance service All students and their parents must observe the following Only students and other specifically appointed person Nel arc allowed transportation on school  this ii from a memorandum for parents of school bus rid ers Dalid aug. 25, 19s7. Pirn if of Don t have a pass Don t ask us 10 let you on the bus in s against the rules and we arc nol Public transportation second monitors Are on the buses to ensure that Safe student conduct is maintained. When we Send Home warning idlers whether in is for failure 10 re main sealed or for something much More significant. Please realize we Are not picking on your child. You May nol feet thai failing to remain seated warrants a letter bul if you would Stop to consider the things that could happen if the bus Driver had to Stop suddenly you might understand. Your child could lose Teeth break a nose or suffer any number of other things. I can speak from experience As it happened to  one Day. As monitors we very rarely have the Opportunity to sit. There Are just too Many kids. There arc usually three to a Seal if icy Are younger than 12. So give us a break. We Are merely trying to do our Job to the besi of our ability. If you Don i like the current situation Don l just complain about la become a Monitor yourself. We could sure use the help especially in the outlying areas. Thai was one of the reasons we needed to have Millary monitors to ensure that there is a Monitor to the end of each Roule. Whether these monitors leave their car at the beginning of the route or their unit comes Oul to set the they have a Way Back in. A civilian Ges offal his or her own Stop. As for Why i Don l like military monitors on the bus i too feel in is nol their Job. I also feet they Don t do As Good a Job As most civilians. S t Lack of training the ones i be talked with said they were handed a Teller of instruction and an sop and Laid 10 go for i Lack of familiarity with inc kids since they Don t ride As often As we do or an Altitude that seems to be Lei s get this Over  for Many this is a one Shol Deal such As the ones who have to Nde when they Bave Synco. I will admit i have seen a couple who try really hard. Parents if you Don l have a copy of the rules Check with your local Ito or Ducc office. To whoever writes the commanders policy Letier no disrespect intended if you Are going to ask people to be in compliance with Usa eur Reg. 632-2, then How about making it available to us or no least telling us where we can get it ourselves the same with a 608-1, which concerns recognition for acs volunteers. Lastly the coming of the military Monitor has brought chances in policy and procedure. How about a new Teller which tells us the Correct procedure i who s in charge eic.7 help us to do our jobs effectively. Miry English Mainz Germany