European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 24, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns memorable moment in sports by Dave Barry Knight of fans. Tomt fur great moments in sports. 1 he Iiri paying a team whose name we did Mil nth in a hotly Conte cd Little u Jeruc Garni for Kirk is d ,1ml 7, and the Onset Are inn Rcd. The bases arc always Ltd in his particular age in Ivision for several reasons. If. I i coach pitches the Ball to his own players. This is because throwing is nol the Strong suit of the payers in this age division. They have no idea when they Al go of the Ball where m 4 headed. They just haul off and Wing it really trying to hurl thai baby without getting bogged Down in a lot of Picky ethnic. Details such As whether or not there is now or has Ever been another player in he area where the i Jill is Likely to land. Generally there is not which k Good because another major area of weakness in Thisa division Isca Ching the bal. Until i became .1 Parent i Houghl children Uil naturally knew How to catch a Ball that catching was in instinctive biological reflex that Alt children no born Wilh like knowing How to operate a i Moti control or getting High levers in Distant lip Cru but it i urns out if you loss a Ball a a Thild the Ball will just Bonk off the child s body ind to the ground. T hat s Why you have id coach the child. I go out in the Yard with my Sun and i give him helpful tips such is catch Lle Ball and Don l just in the Ball Bonk Riff your body thanks in this coaching Effort my Ion like most of the players on i he giants has advanced his name to inc Point where just before iht1 Harl Banks off his body he winces. So Lii Klinis is also not the Strong suit of the giants. They stand Rimml the Field Halter into each other watching air planes picking their noses thinking Aboul dinosaurs Etc meanwhile on inc Pitcher s a the coach of the opposing team Trie to throw the Ball just right so that it will Bounce off inc Bat of one of his players because Hilling is another major area of weakness in this age division. The real athletic drama begins once the opposing coach succeeds in bouncing the Ball off the Bat of one of his players thus putting the Ball into play and causing the fielders to swing into action ii reminds me of those table hockey games where you have a Bunch of Little men that you activate Wilh Knob and levers entert that the Way you activate the giants is you yet excitedly to let them know the Ball is headed their Way if you Don to they la never notice it Robby i yell if the Ball goes near my son. The thus activated Robby goes on full red Alert looking around frantically until he locales the Ball which he picks up and eager to be relieved of the responsibility hurls in some random direction. Then depending on where the bait is headed some other Parent will try to activate his child and the Ball will be hurled again and again pinball style around the Field before ultimately bonking off he body of he first baseman. Of course at this Point the Batter has been standing on the base for some Lime. Fortunately in this league he is required to Slop there otherwise he could easily make it to Japan this is Why the bases Are always loaded which is what leads us to today s sports moment standing on third base is James Palmieri who is Only 5, but who plays for the giants anyway because his older brother t.j., is on the team Lames got on base via an exciting play lie. Failed to actually technically hit the Ball but the giants wily coach Wayne Argo employed a classic bit of baseball strategy. Let s let tames gel on base he pleaded. And the other coach agreed because at this Point the giants were losing the Holly contested game 143-57. So Lames is standing on third for the first time in his entire life thinking Aboul dinosaurs and next to him ready to activate is i mom Carmen. Now coach Wayne pitches Good pitch that bounces directly off the Bat. Bedlam erupts As parents on both learns try to activate their players but none is shouting with Mure Ellhu ism than Carmen. Run Jamesl she yells from maybe a foot away. Run cd Tutti i or ii it fee pm a dim to Oil that an we Lames starter looks up and you can almost Sec the thought forming in his mind i m supposed o run and now he is running and Carmen is running no u to him cheering him on the two of them chugging toward the plate Only 1 5 feet logo Lames Aboul to score his first run Ever. Then suddenly incredibly due to a sem random hurl somewhere out in the Field there appears of All things the Ball and this is a Nightmare an opposing player actually catches in and touches Home plate and Little James is out. Two things happen Carmen stops. 5-word, she says under her breath. A Little league mom to the Core. Lames oblivious keeps running. He chugs right on Home touches the plate smiling and wanders off Happy As a Clam you ran have your Willie Mays catch and your Bill Mazeroski Home run. For me the ultimate mental picture is James and Carmen at that moment the thrill of Victory the agony of defeat. A great Momcil in sports uniform of youth May omit clues about gender by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i have what could be considered a modern problem i am occasionally mistaken for a member of Iho opposite sex. 1 am a College age woman who strive to behave in a genteel manner. It May be through my appearance thai i unwittingly deceive Shete people i Dresti in uniform of Stith a carry running Shoei oversized jacket. I Wear no makeup and my hair is Cut Short. Since i am nut Aboul to change my appearance would miss manner please suggest a kind Way to Correct the people who make such mistakes i know that inc reply to Are you a boy or a girl 1" should be silence or if one wants to be rude none of your Bui How does one Correct a salesperson who says May i help you Young mini it May seem a minor Point but i am bewildered by in. I want to do the right thing. Can you help gentle Reader without questioning your predilection for wearing the uniform of youth miss manners would like to Point out thai you omit from your appearance any clues Aslo your Gen ctr As strangers Are often addressed in a gender related form sir Madam miss , people who need to talk to you May Well request the information or Blunder in guessing. People who Don l need to talk to you Uch As strangers calling out comments in the sired should indeed be ignored when there Are no non visual clues provided such As your name or your voice although those Are nol always gender Dis Lind either in t it possible for you either to ignore a mistaken reference or to say actually i m not a Young Man dear miss manners for my own peace let me if i was right or wrong in thit incident during my first performance Ai an honorary hos leis Lul Tummer. Or Doc in t ii Mailer anymore everything else went debut to till keeps coming Back a me. I was entertaining live ladies in my living room. Only one wat a senior citizen the others were Aboul z5 to 35 year old. I altered lemonade and everyone accepted. On returning Wilh the tray i entered Between two of the younger Laden one of whom Wai already in motion to receive her Glass. Out of respect i gave her a Quick feel smile and proceeded to serve inc elderly lady first. Should i decl bad for being Rudel or should Shel gentle Reader if you were drinking lemonade the statute of limitations has passed and it does t Mailer anymore. Winter is no time to go around feeling bad about summer but since you ask your error which however sweetly pointed out a guest s error was greater than the inadvertent error of that guest in assuming that the tray was being passed to her. Dear miss manners my Boyfriend and j have moved Inlo an apartment together and every Lime 1 set the table i give each of i a Fork spoon and knife. Well my Boyfriend rut the idea that if we Don l have a dessert we Don l need a spoon on the table i Tell him it if the proper Way of letting the table. This question hat a bet depending on it no pm Clit Tell i who is right gentle Reader he is miss manners my hates to spread disharmony at the dinner table by taking Side and is Only forced to do so in the service of truth in etiquette. She Hopes the gentlemen will be gracious in Victory and Lake into consideration that you Are disarmed now that miss manners has taken your spoon away from you. March a 1983 Ai Pitt Migu int 3
