European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 21, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns doors of Commerce contest is a real Winner by Dave Barry r newspaper we tunic 1o Federal Nook the popular new in which we look ill some of the interesting Neil fun Titi cities that our government has been up to while we be been out working. Our Lead item is the i in inn doors of Commerce we fount out Flo us thin thanks to an Alert Anonymous Reader who sent us a memorandum Tum by Commerce Secretary c. verily 1o Oil Commerce department employees. The memo announced a contest in which the employees would win pries by correctly guessing what the c in front of the Secretary s name stands for. No just kidding. It s even better than that. Ii seems that the Commerce department is 75 years Oil this year and to celebrate this occasion in c. William s weird we would like All employees to show their Pride in eing a part of the Best department of the . Vern mint by decorating their office he went on to encourage nil employees to read the contest rules described in the attached flier and join loft elder Wilh your fellow employees in wealing festive and informative the attached flit a says the doors could be to reflect one of he following themes 1 he department s contributions to the Nalion Over the past 75 yews. Commerce and proud of it birthday Commerce the flier also slates entries will be judged on the basis of How Well the door reflects one of the contest themes 50 Percell originality 25 percent jul Alorat lioness 25 percent. We know we speak for taxpayers everywhere when we stole that this contest fills our heart with a mixture of Joy 40 percent and violent approval of percen l Hec Juse we frequently overhear Ordinary citizens saying to each other you know. Marge in his Era of economic uncertainly horrendous budget deficits and fierce International Competition what we need More than Ever is for our Commerce department to decorate its office we were so excited about this contest that we called up the Commerce department to find out who won. A very Nice spokesperson told us 1h.it the grand prize winning door was created by employees of the data preparation division of the census Bureau office in Jefferson ind., who chose to express the Happy birthday Commerce theme. They Drew faces on to represent of All 2b secretaries of Commerce in . History inc spokesperson said and the result was a pretty neat door. We bet it was. And we Are thinking would t it be swell if More Federal agencies adopted this idea like employees of the Revenue service could decorate their doors to express the theme to determine the theme of this door subtract Tho theme of door 2342-c from inc theme of Doof na7-76-x or door 13562-34-l, depending. Defense department employees could buy special computerized doors that never quite worked right which they could decorate Wilh crepe paper costing $.l,7ub.oa per Inch. Employees of the slate department s office for latin american policy could ill Ernst to decorate their doors but decorate their filing latin Rte by mistake. Our second item concerns the exciting new u,5, postal service junk mail program. Like most in Seal patrons you have to yourself Many times Why is the postal service Content to simply deliver junk mail Why can l it create junk mail of its own Well we have Good news because we just deceived a postal Servit e mailing urging us to buy a limited edition philatelic collodion. Yes your postal service having apparently grown bored Wilh Mere mail delivery is now getting into the lucrative business of manufacturing useless objects and then trying it get people to collect them just like those companies that Are always coming out with miniature solid brass collectible sets depict ing themes like denial Spil loons around the world. What the postal service wants you to collect is commemorative panels a commemorative panel is basically a piece of paper with some Stamps on it plus a few pictures and what the postal service brochure describes As Lively text which gives you factual in depth information about the subject of the stamp. For example Here s some Lively and factual information from the commemorative panel for Lave stamp a Teller sent through the mail becomes a cherished treasure especially if it closes Wilh the phrase All my the postal service is letting these babies go for just $1 ob.90 for the 22 panels scheduled to be released this year. That works out to just $4.95 per panel or roughly i20 for each in Point of whoever takes advantage of this remarkable offer. Well i hot i it for this week if you have an item you would like 1o see in Federal Nook feel free to Send it in your Best bet is to use Federal express. Daughter in Law irritated by after dinner cleanup by miss manners null no feature Syndicate dear miss manners How docs one Deal with a Mother in Law who commands her dinner Guc ifs to perform As servants after the meal my first experience Wilh this took place at a Small informal dinner she held in Honor of my marriage. The events proceeded pleasantly until the meat ended my Mother in Law then Rose from the table announced "1 looked in you clean it and retired to inc living room 1 was dumbfounded. Everyone Rose quietly from their seats and assembled in the Kitchen. Trie catastrophe that awaited in makes me shudder to recall. Every dish pan and cooking utensil in the House had been used fudging from the Ceramic Quality of the residue on several implements much of the cooking had been done earlier in the Day. The Kitchen sink was stopped up and apparently had been for several Days. It took the four of us nearly two hours to clean he debris. L asked my sister in Law if the evening s events were common practice and she said yet. Please understand that i am neither Lazy nor disrespectful. I make a consistent practice of offering my assistance to a Host but i have never attended a function particularly in my Honor where the guests assistance was commanded. Gentle Reader Miu manners was All puffed up with sympathy and vicarious resentment coupled with wonder at How such a hostess could Ever Jet any go cols to return for a second meal and How your husband and his sister could allow guests to be so treat pm when something caused Bur to pause. It was the four of you in Ihn Kitchen Hal night til a you had talked with your Sisley in Law. The four people were by miss manners reckoning the son and daughter of the hostess and their spouses. This puts a strange cast on those terms in my Honor and dinner guests what you Are describing in seems is not a bizarre a finn t party where unsuspecting guests ant indentured but an intimate family dinner following longtime family custom. Your Mother in Law is less a hostess who is shocking her guests by assigning them Kitchen tasks than a str each who is reminding her Brood that she expects them to pitch in and help. Certainly in would be nicer if she did it More gracefully and if she were a More fastidious Cook. It would have been charming if at that first dinner when you were a Bride she had said the children do the cleaning up but just this once you come and sit with me instead but the division of labor is nor unreasonable. When there is frequent entertaining in grown up families the Burden should not All fall on one person. Dear miss manners in the Case of the woman whose daughter kept interrupting her to Correct her in front of guests you mag he have pointed Oul to the Mother thai Luch behaviour is usually Learned in imitation of the adults who Are constantly correcting every word a child Sayi. If etiquette rules could be considered As applicable to a child Ai they Are to adults Young people might not be at eager to turn the Tablet at Toon in possible on i heir Parent teacher and Ali authority figures who do no treat children Wilh the respect that they think they arc due. Rudencio to children goes unnoticed and unchecked while such behaviour in reverse ii Pun shed promptly in most can. I do not excuse rudeness in children but the cause and effect Are simple to Sec. The example we net As parents teachers and others vrho Are raising the next generation speak louder than scolding arts punishing. Gentle Reader Long an impassioned advocate of treating children politely. Miss Minners agrees with you up to a Point. Yes children should be treated Wilh respect both because Hal is right and because they learn by imitation. But the clicking paint is whether it is the same respect nol quite. There is a Rule that it is always incorrect to Correct an adult whether the free Lance do gooder is an adult also or a child. One simply has to let grown manage As they see fit however unfit that actually May be. But what would the world be like if parents teachers and other authority figures refrained from correcting children you need t answer that miss manners has Only to look about her. The sad thing is that this neglect arises As often from the Good but mistaken desire to treat he children As equals before their time As from Lack o concern. The solution is to teach children politely. It is As rude to yell at children belittle them or Embarrass them unnecessarily in Public As it is to behave Ihrl Way to adults. A severely misbehaving child who ii causing annoyance to others must necessarily suffer the embarrassment of being corrected in front of them instruction a great Deal of which must be Given to children May be imparted often and firmly without resort to insult or humiliation. Ipri21, �9m
