European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 28, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse The stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers dear Ann Landers 1 could t co to sleep until i expressed my feelings about that letter from divorced dad in he said he wanted you 10 know what a Day in the life of a divorced father is really like i just wonder if i m the Only one who got the impression that the a i Jerk is wallowing in self pity " sounds a lot like my sex Hus band. They have both developed the Art of going through life play ing the victim. For example your correspondent says he its by the phone hoping one of the kids will Call just to say no Call comes and he is so depressed he can t sleep. Why in the Heck Doest he Call the my his wife says she s taking him to court if he does t increase the child support Check. His response got me right Here. He can t come up with More Money because he s taking care of his Mother s medical Bills. I ask what should come first his Mother s medical Bills or his child s needs Al Jerko writes "1 sit Down alone to a dinner of Frozen lasagna and a salad 1 got at the now Ain t that just too bad As a divorced Mother who never received one Penny of court ordered child support i could t afford Frozen lasagna or a salad from a Deli. For a Lone Lime i lived on hour dried Beans cabbage powdered milk and egg. I could t even buy Coffee or Tea. Your correspondent whines about not being Able to go to a movie with a Friend because he does t Nave the s7, poor baby. My entertainment is books from the Library and visits with friends and relatives. In my opinion that Bozo s letter was a disservice to every divorced Man who is a Good father. 1 can t understand Why you printed it. Jersey Jane Dev june i Beard from a great Many divorced Dada Momm of them sounded a lot like this one. The null produced Undin lab thu knee that the hatred Between former spouses i widespread and venomous. Unfortunately the my victims of the Lousy relationship in lit children. How sad. Dear Ann Landers recently i have been awakened at Odd Houn of the night and Early in the morning by the sound of what i thought was somebody in the apartment above mine jumping rope. I have since realized that the couple upstairs is engaged in an entirely different kind of activity. Earplugs do not Hon since it is More than just the noise that is disturbing. The thumping causes a Reso Nance through their Wood floors and my ceiling thai is More annoying than the sound. Have a Job that requites a great Deal of Energy. A Good night j sleep is very important to me and i Haven t had one since these people moved in. Please Tell me to to Deal with this problem. Red eyed in apartment 6 mils dear red you Don t say whether you Are a male or female. My Advie is to speak with the same sex neighbor about the rope jumping at Odd hours of the night ind ask if this could be done in another part of the apartment. I la bet you get results. Dear Ann Landers How s this for profound simplicity forgiveness is the ultimate revenge. Indifference is the ultimate insult. . In British Columbia letters confronting child abuse is difficult task Beautiful. Wish 1 Hud thought of it. I would like to take exception to the recent article that headlined Dodds ignores child i am a Counselor in a Dodds High Sthool. I am the person responsible for reporting suspected abuse to our Hospi Tal child advocacy officer. Sixty five percent of the leads came from teachers 25 percent from students and 10 from adults outside the school these statistics cover physical emotional and sexual abuse. At the moment i believe that air Force regulations do More to suppress the reporting of suspected abuse than any other cause. Typically the father s career Job is threatened if there is a report of abuse. If the father is working in a sensitive area he will be pulled until the matter is resolved. What child wants to Hurt his her father s career in the cose of sexual abuse the child usually female must be willing to see her father go to jail. Moth ers Are human and prone to Bury this secret. They too May face. Severe financial hardship if the daughter swears a statement against the father. Cases of sexual abuse either immediately destroy the family dad goes to Leavenworth and mom is faced with the support of the family alone Back in the United states or the destruction comes slowly the victim of the abuse becomes the cause of the trouble because she reported her father. Many state have adopted a More humane and successful Model of intervention. The father is removed from the Home and counselling is provided to everyone in the family. There is a deferred prosecution agreement which is a Strong encouragement for the entire family to seek help. Douglas Mcenery Hannab wait Germany editor s note in. Col. Tommie g. Cayton Safe fun or adn Cacy program manager rep Llu your letter relates to set Rel Complex Ishiki. T will address them but finl i would like id review the Dod family add Osacr program directive. Dodds Pinon net like la Dod employees Are required by Dod do pectin 6400.1 to Immert Lamar report til alleged Inci dents of child Abom to the local family advocacy pro cram officer Fao. The Fao i then required by this directive to ensure medial auns Mcnol and create but of All family men Betti by appropriately trained personnel Nolin Caloo of the i Touni Ndanu officer Noufel Totton of it Loury Law enforcement ��4 into Tina tote Ayendes notification of the local Public child protective Agency when overseas this is done when covered by an agreement with the Host nation and Observance of tie applicable rights of the alleged offenders. This directive further requires a Case Retina commit tee the child advocacy committee in of regulations to review All the available Case material and make a status determination of suspected or unsubstantiated on each Case. The committee is also required to make recommendations to the Jerri Terem Ber s commander regarding inclusion in a treatment pro Gram to Monitor those receiving treatment and to advise the commander of Progress in treatment. Dod directive 6400.1 gives responsibility for disposition of the individual cases to the service member s Chain of command and suggest Thil the following fac tors be considered in determining dispositions military performance und potential for further use Ful service. Prognosis fur treatment. Extent to which the alleged offender accepts responsibility for hit her behaviour and a Genu Ine desire for treatment. Other factors the command considers appropriate. You disagreed with the headline. I Unden tand your reaction to the headline and the Story. Like most Gentr Alisa you lib headline Hai a Little truth to it but is mostly for effect and to attract attention problem with the program Are Likely to come to my attention. The rate of complaints against Dodds per sonnet Luu been no higher than Anjer other involved Agen cies. School personnel More than any others who ire not family number be our children on a regular basis. Therefore you and your colleagues Are in one of the Best positions to recognize change in appearance or behave Lor suggestive convention b critical far Succow fail Early ident Abca Tion of child abase. If ire can identify problems while they an minor and in still be effective Lar treated and if commander retail pud Mlyn to treatment by the offender then we can reduce the need for action against the Mem Ber and minimize the Impact on their cars. You believe of regulations result in failure to report cases. Several of regulations May apply depending upon Ibe kind of Job the alleged offenders hold. If the alleged offender s Job involve Picceu to weapon or certain kinds of classified material then regulations require us commander to nuke a decision about whether or not inc allegation suggested that the alleged offender might be a risk in his Job. As most allegations suggest impulse control problems or make the offender potentially subject to blackmail ii is understandable Why Khrt Ron Nansen would therefore temporarily re move the alleged offender from that Job until it Ain be determined if risk might be involved. If the allegation is unsubstantiated or if the evaluation does not suggest the existence of problem which jut Dis qualifying for the Job the member is usually returned to formal duties. If problems Are found he she must be removed from the Job even if the problem were dts covered through a report of abuse. The potential for the offender to he removed from his her Job May result in peo ple falling to report alleged abuse. To fall to reman them however could Compromise National Security. The treatment approach you described resembles hat of Washington state to which Abu is Are prosecuted and sentenced As appropriate but the sentences Are sons 4-ended, contingent on cooperation in treatment and Nan occurrence of subsequent abuse by the offender. This is a Good Model and in actual practice is approximated by the air Force for some offences. Each commander must consider the member his her Job and local treatment capabilities in those decisions. For example commander frequently Issue letters of counselling or reprimand and hold them we Ghoul formally entering them into the member s personnel record contingent on no recur rence of abusive events. This procedure conveys to the offender that the air Force system will not Tolmie this kind of behaviour but there is minimum Impact on his her career As Long As there Are no recurrences of abuse. There is common concern that a report of abuse will rain a member s career. However Only a Small percent age of reported allegations Are prosecuted. Most Are handled administratively and Don t result in changes in records which usually control a member s career. They Are not mention in performance ratings and an unfavourable information folder is not created. If the member is in a Job involving weapons or special classified materials the concern is Mure realistic. The member is Likely to be removed from these special dates at least temporarily. Because of patient confidentiality we cannot run Sto Ries in the stars and stripes about All our successes. Those Yon read about Are usually severe or longstanding and or Likely to be resistant to treatment and Here fore have been criminally prosecuted. Otherwise their name could not be released to the Public through the stars and stripes family violence is Community problem which re suspicions we perpetuate the problem and condemn the child to continued trauma. First Ibe offenders must be taught that abuse will not be tolerated. Second they must be Laught was to Han dle their problems that do not harm their children. Research shows that the problems Are Likely to gel worse if we do not intervene. A Jiffy do is tha Slorf and i Apo g97i t. i to Bun Tel a Pai. Poukh 11 m 37 u b of dam Jill ii. Or Runy. Tel Merit no 23761 my. ctn Etc mov Sill swat Alan 04 9 53s to Tatrai Cal Smuts Row Vork alter Root 61. M it Vonh a. A Vork Impi. Tal a is news Mirk Wnm. Bim a Norm �10, bump a Wesci it col 5uianne l. A whup. Thu jumbo urn lot Lupe Char Busig 103, cart 5f run Ziarn to o90i a Phona Cis 3.ms9. Emn nmn Oyun toll taut or a Tovok 6�fi-l i id air 4uo or Karjel a ooj9-41 j6240j9 Uhi Teo kurd of Din 0t Bueno 136 Eccl us. Raf m la a Roll Post. In prom Auto on f5s-mb a lure no l Kex 6iee6 Wash Hotoph. Cru a Viruth. Or Jairn Wanman. vow Pentagon room 3e7m. . Bill 4w9s, i Violon. D a Kkt uni Prina in b9t46h. Wurl Bulia Oer Hantl Jinol ho�llvtnin.,-. Taupman Cis 348 Marie to mimic most so cob of Juie b. Atm Mott production Manti Jei miming Catuy Cut cation my soar Ifilio in Nopar i in Hii Norioki amt Toul putt Mai Lor pm stun of Iha Mlan Unton Mautis. Oon Lantt of tin ban and str Tom not Murf me Owji of. Or Ano Onad 6j.sn a pm vaunt to dip 3 Europa an command. To in aim 01 Mann Fig in Ina Putte Itti. Hts Udag Hunt supplant Tail. Ddn Vrtol tit buil by Vav off Putnal 01 of Tau it in Slan in fit Pei if 1p� Paakh or we fort ten Abmd. Ever Virno it Denisea in it Cuel Miti Nul m item Ivy Ltd us. A pal Monaca ilog in to Flo to tk9. Color Teflon i. Ruth did origin age. Nanula Tull. Pjv/4tl Handicap Pott tul Ihil Illon or by Ditmor racier old porch Uia ror Panon. Lbw uhf or i on omm in emm blk i. To a firer. Meniw ets to uni i Crum bowl Jln. in. 6 Sui Wall. 2nd. Souney to
