European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 1, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse The stars and stripes Page 11 Ann Landers letters dear Ann Landers the enclosed column by Melva Ardilla appeared in the Sacramento Bee. I believe your millions of readers could Benefit from it. Do you agree if so please print in. Sacramento Reader i or a Ramento do. Indeed. Thinks for sending it on. Breaking the Cycle of co dependency Jane Cziger cringes every time the song people comes on the radio. When barbra Streisand warbles first you re half now you re whole Zeiger says it s like an Anthem Zeiger a licensed clinical social worker says the concept of co dependence came out of the Field of alcohol abuse where spouses of alcoholics were called through the years the definition has broadened. It s about relationships and letting the other per son s behaviour affect your self esteem Zeiger explained. It s also being obsessed with trying to control the other person s behaviour while assuming responsibility for thai person s she gave As an example the woman whose husband has gotten sick from drinking and passed out on the floor Al 3 . Not Only does she clean up the mess and put him to bed she sets the clock for 6 . So she can Call his Boss with an excuse for her husband s absence there is nothing wrong with helping a Cigar said but co dependency is helping to the extent that you lose yourself in the process. The co dependent thinks she s being helpful but she s Only postponing her part Ner s inevitable facing up to the truth of his Addic Tion while men can be co dependents women arc far More susceptible. "1 think we re culturally programmed to be the caretakers said Cziger. In seems natural for women to sacrifice themselves for the Fame behaviour is not restricted to partners of alcoholics. Any chronic problem from gambling to overeating or a history of losing jobs can produce co dependency in a partner. It has tin addictive Quality that makes it almost harder to disconnect from than alcohol. The cure for co dependency is to first detach your self from the relationship. This is easy to say but hard to do. Let him feel the pain and Deal with the Conse the second step is learning to take care of yourself. It s like looking into a Mirror and doing for yourself All the things you be been doing for him. Zeiger also recommends counselling and groups such As Al anon you must learn to say i refuse to Rescue you anymore " dear Ann Landers i just completed the process of finding my Bill amid the ads order Blanks and junk they put in the Enve Lope. 1 have decided it is Lime to fight Back. I May no accomplish anything but i will feel better. From now on when i Send in my Check i am going to enclose All the stuff they Send me. Let them look for my Check the Way 1 had to look for their Bill. Getting even in Dallas dear getting hippy to Al you have your say. And now May i have mine if the Duguine folks would phase quit putting Pesky reorder bunks in every 10 pages. Lid Anekt Tina Syndicate com not indent Vul Lemmei your Atleri. You on Rutt to Taf in care of the sure and Empet. Apo m211. . Force dentist recommends soft toothbrushes i have been thinking about writing someone about this subject for several months now and finally got inspired today. I have been a dentist for 15 years 14 years of which have been in the army one of my pet peeves has been Why the cafes system still sell Hanf and or medium toothbrushes now i imagine your first response will be huh and your second response will be who cares and perhaps your third response will be since when is it my affair anyway As one of the 1,700 or so army dentists i care and 1 feel it is my our business to care and hopefully i can get someone else to care As Well. Dental research has proven Lime and again Over the last several decades that the Only effective and least harmful method of proper brushing of the Teeth is with the soft style toothbrushes. Although the numerous brands make no difference in themselves some of the More common brands available in the cafes system Are Oral a Lactone and Buller go a Brush brands we Veall seen them i m Sun. Trouble is we Sec them on the same shelves immediately next to the other brands of hard and medium brushes. So. Naturally the average person thinks that they have a Choice. After All Why would the exchanges offer a Choice if some of the choices were harmful and or ineffective when we the dentists suggest the use of soft brushes and take the Lime to show our patients the proper use of these brushes we realize after Many years that we Are talking to ourselves because we Sec patients daily who arc still using the wrong ones. Which style Brush is no longer a matter of opinion anymore. Only soft brushes can clean the necks of the Teeth properly at the gum line and with them it is nearly impossible to harm the soft issues of the Mouth. Whereas the hard and or medium brushes cannot be used effectively Al the necks of the Teeth because it hurts the patient and they can do significant harm to the Gums. I am not exaggerating by no Means. Just ask any practising dentist and i m sure you la find thai we All agree. Sinee i am Only one voice perhaps the cafes Man a genl can As k the dental Side of eth medical come for their opinion. Or better yet ask the dental corps in Washington d.c., through Fth . Army dental re search Institute Al Waller Reed. Perhaps then the cafes system will clean the shelves of the hard and medium brushes. In dentistry we have one common Tenet let s not do harm. Come on cafes Plewe let s not do harm. Or. I. Col duh a. Mcbride Turch guns West cer Nuutt editor s note la. Cot. Charlie while Public affairs officer Liq. Cafes Europe replies cafes Europe has Little doubt that the soft tooth Brush is accepted by the majority of dentists As being the beat Toothbrush id use. However our i Mornen Coa line to demand medium and hard . Some people Tell me they use the hard ones for other purposes than on their Teeth. In retail common Intel is la satisfy customer de Mand. When the it mid for medium and hard toothbrushes disappear due to the efforts of dedicated dentists such As yourself cafes and probably the manufacturers will respond accordingly. Sorting out the Complex Federal budget recent letters to the stars and stripes indicate an alarming Lack of comprehension and an even More alarming abundance of misinformation concerning the amount of Money the Federal government dedicates to the department of defense. Any attempt to qualify the expenditures necessitates an appreciation for the Quantity. Recently one Reader disdainfully accused Jesse Jackson of lying to the Public for asserting the depart ment of defense budget to be 58 percent of the total Federal Revenue received from taxes. The Reader then claimed the True figure to be about 22 percent. He would be surprised. The actual Federal outlay and receipt figures pertain ing to the National budget Are readily available from the Treasury department s financial management service As Well As the president s own office of management and budget. Your Library can furnish these. You will find that the most recent totals available for 1986, report j485.2 billion in total Federal tax receipts from All Legal sources with the obvious exception of social insurance social Security payments and contributions. Included in the $485.2 billion Are the Federal government s final share of All individual and corporate income taxes excise taxes customs duties estate taxes gift taxes and All Oiher miscellaneous taxes and receipts. In other words All of your lax dollars. During this same period the department of defense budget not including $26.4 billion in veterans acne pen pals fits and services or any Clandestine fun Uings was $281.4 billion or 58 percent of receipts. From an extreme Point of View if the s283.9 billion the government received in social insurance payments in 1986 arc not to be spared for their intended purpose and instead included As funds available to spend on All other programs the department of defense budget would still account for 37 percent of the entire $769.1 billion received by the Federal government in 1986. In order to believe Only 22 percent of Federal receipts even to include social Security were spent on defense the govern Cal should have received almost $1.3 trillion in taxes. It is ironic thai the Reader s idler was aimed Al discrediting Jesse Jackson by charging the candidate with mis slating the facts another Reader seemed absolutely ecstatic fantasizing his financial gain if the proposed $36 million con Gressional salary increase were instead to be divided equally amongst the 2,169,000 uniformed personnel on Active duly with the . Armed services. A magnanimous gesture Asil would furnish each member with $1.38 More per month for exactly 12 months. Or 92 cents More per month if you wish to share with the Over 1,101,000 civilians employed by the department of defense if you should gel that raise be careful with it and remember Hal adage a fool and his Money Christopher j. Zucconi bad Kos Slangen West Germany Feasa up Bush my name in your pen pal Mairm. Imi 1 if Yaar Dattge i runt i a Newfli Day and Wirthl and am rate Reald m metro to Ovid. Reed ing mama Binm. . Solck Ragette tall can. Us. Oriental. In up net i of 24. I Romu Catholic and Intermix i dancing cooking arid wading a Gaitney. I am Ibidem. Jai Ermna d. Cata foundation Urjil Rufy Dumaguet City. 6501 Nln ppm please pub Limi my name in your pan pal column t in 31 win and. I roman Cammic and to Irlo refuted i cooking Talon Long to Wmk. End album mag guile. I pm Alto a Cote go elude no and Portias an appliance Rece a Loniel a Truc. 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