European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 7, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Nip child s tantrums in the Bud with positive techniques l by Usa Kinard being awake three pud Lour weeks before parents could get their children to sleep through the night for More than a Day or two at a  Ferber does t recommend Lota ignoring in most cases a child is used to having someone come in immediately. Suddenly having nobody come in is going to be confusing and possibly  inability to get Back to sleep is the most common cause of nighttime crying but not the Only one and Ferber says doctors must diagnose underlying reasons. These can include ear infections breathing difficulties toilet training a new bed starting Day care or fighting Between the parents. Any sort of tension in the Home can contribute even tension Over sleepless nights. Parents on their first visit to Ferber frequently say that until just the week before their child had not slept quietly through the night for t two years. Just making a doctor s appointment seemed to solve the problem the week prior to the appointment there is a sense that help is around the Comer he says la s not Tike we won t sleep forever a a sense of control and Calm comes Over the Home which the youngster picks up on. To and behold he starts  cause for crying in a baby s first months of life the most common cause of crying is something called Colic. Its Causa is unclear but not its effects infants cry inconsolable Olen Lor hours on end. Sometimes their bellies Are bulging and Gassy. But experts believe this is a result rather than a cause because Colicky babies gulp air As they Wall. Colic eventually goes away but in the meantime Steep expert or. Richard Ferber of children s Hospital in Boston says there Are a few things parents can do sometimes walking the baby or rubbing his Back will help. If this fails simply leaving the child alone for a while May Calm him Down. Colicky infants May cry because they Are Overly i sensitive to things happening around them or they Are handled and stimulated Loo much if the baby is not easily comforted leave him alone in his crib forms to 30 a Znutas feeding or gentle soft Foj spoken consoling May then quiet him. Ii it does to let i him cry another is to 30 minutes. Ferber believes letting babies cry alone this Way lets Tieru Betease their built up tensions. A june 7, 1988 by Marianne and Stephen career and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service r eader s question my son is  be been using time out for daily temper tantrums. Bul he does l see to care enough to Stop the  son is allergic to Dairy products. Could he be doing this because of allergies is spanking Ever appropriate mom. Dear mom while some children May be prone to tantrums and others never try them those who do choose them because they work somehow the payoff is enough to keep the behaviour going even when children appear not to care it is Ollen a cover up Lor their True feelings a Way to get attention or a Means of avoiding the chore or punishment. Spanking rarely salves a problem sued As tantrums. In general we Don t advocate physical punishment ii puts you in the position of modelling a behaviour you d prefer not to Sec your child use. Ii a 2-year-old reaches Lor the hoi stove some parents find it effective to quickly slap the child s hand. Even Ihen manual restraint firmly holding the child s wrist while stating no touching can be an effective deterrent the problem with punishment is that it is entirely negative. Time out loss of privileges and other forms of punishment can decrease a behaviour but they Don l automatically Leach the child an appropriate behaviour to replace the original. When does your child throw Lanor Toms it it s a reaction to your no then your Ellort Musl be placed on encouraging your child to accept  does he throw tantrums to avoid bedtime or picking up his toys when that s the Case you need to design a strategy to motivate him to go to bed on Lime or pick up his playthings. Punishment works Best when combined with positive techniques that increase the child s desire to cooperate. In that setting timeout can be quite effective consider it As the three r s removal Iron the situation restriction to a Sale but Boring spot for the number of minutes in the child s age and then re entry a Means Tor the child to return to Iho situation and do As he was originally asked. Allergies and other physical ailments May cause a child to be Grumpy but it s doubtful they Are the direct cause of your child s tantrums in any Case understanding that your response plays a role in your child s behaviour can bring Forth cooperation. Reader my child is 3vi years old and never does what i ask her to do. How do you gel your child to respond to your request the first Lime every time _ frustrated mom. Dear frustrated mom la s unrealistic to expect anyone to respond to your bidding the first time every time. You can however expect your child to fulfil your request More often and within a reasonable period of Lime. The key to getting children to follow directions is twofold. First the message Musl be received and secondly the child must know your intentions Are real. All Loo often instructions Are sent into the air and the child never hears them. Or hearing them he knows there s time to respond or belter yet. If he Waits Long enough. Mom will do the Job herself. Your 3-year-old May be learning these same lessons so it s time to break the pattern. Because she s a toddler make listening fun with games such As Simon says or follow the Leader. When cleaning up the playroom be a magician and see if she can make All the toys disappear before you open your eyes. Praise her Speed and efficiency and you May be surprised by her willingness to cooperate. To get your child to respond More promptly. Keep these suggestions in mind As you give directions make Eye con act with your child. That Way you know she s listening. Give simple directions. One or two at a time is enough Lor most children. To assist remembering have him repeat the instructions aloud give a reasonable Lime limit for your request to be initiated. Wait five seconds for your child to begin to respond repeat the directions one time then manually guide the child through the task. Robot fashion it necessary. Praise your child for listening Well and following through. Monitor new tasks to make sure the Chi a learns How to do them. Use natural consequences to Reward her for a task Well done you followed my instructions and put on your pyjamas so quickly that we have Lime for an extra Story Belore  your positive response to your child s compliance to requests will pay off in future cooperation behaviour guide sett concept is built on accomplishments in Many different areas. From smal to big whether it s learning to properly set the table ride a Bike or spell a troublesome word keep a record of your child s successes in and out of school. Sis  Usa award the stars and stripes Page 15