European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 9, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns just what everyone needs More credit cards by Dave Barry Knight Ridder newspapers mt�1 of my  consists of letters from companies with unusual names in Distant Stales Ulici  to give mi1 credit . Their letters sound like this dear i. Batry hero if  we have been relic win Ynith credit history. Never mind How ivi1 ant it or Barry the important thing is that we have it and Many an evening he ill around munching buttered Popcorn Ami reviewing in and quite frankly or. Barry we like what we set. I la Lizul 1 hey do i have owned a number of credit cards obtained through .1 conscientious program of filling out random applications without Reading them and Over the years i have used them to run up thousands of dollars Worth of charges. To the Busl of my recollect Ion i have never used .1 cart dil card to Purchase anything 1 actually needed. Mostly i use in 1o provide emergency Short term  for things like Fried cheese Sticks. Probably i he most useful thing i Ever charged was a $6.99 Yoyo with a Lille elect Ric Light in in which i Gol for my son in .1 savvy parental Effort to teach him the value of whining Mil nagging in shopping malls. Of course the to in broke before we Gol Home bul sometimes when i ret a credit card statement i suspect 1h.it i m still paying for in  it s hidden in there somewhere in i he prior balance. The prior balance is a strange thing sometimes in fines us nil Borni limes in goes Down. Bul like Richard Nixon in never completely Gous away. I think some of my cards originally Cami with a prior balance. Also of course i am paying interest. When i listen to these radio Money adviser talk shows where smart consumer Are i Yingto decide whether to invest in Treasury notes maturing in 1993 or lax free municipal Bonds maturing in 1995, i think i m paying interest on Chei us Slicks consumed in 1986." so ii is no Surprise to me i hat All those other companies want a piece of the action which i Why they Are constantly sending me letters trying la gel me to take on new credit cards. These letters barely mention what you actually do with Al credit card namely charge things you generally Don t need i Hen spend the bulk of your life paying the Money Back at an interest rate higher than your stale s Legal drinking age. No these tellers Lalk about credit cards As if they were magical objects with amazing Powers to change your lifestyle similar to Dorothy s Ruby slippers or thu sword of Power that Prince Adam uses to Iran farm himself into he Man the most powerful Mann the universe or. Barry this can guarantees you worldwide acceptance and recognition. You show this curd ill a Frei in country. Or Barry and a e natives will fall to their Knees and licit your toenails. They will offer you their spouses because we Are talking about a card with prestige hem. We Are talking about a   exceeds the prestige associated with credit cards coloured to look like such precious metals u set. Vou think in , right you think nobody would Sloop to his level of comical irrelevancy to get you to Lake a or Ceil card. So i d like to quote from in actual mailing i recently Gol Here in Florida from in outfit called the first Deposit National Bank located in new Hampshire and California real Gold is used to make this powerful card we think our cold firs select visa card is really something special. Thai s Why we manufacture it using real Gold this mailing also Points Oul that Simc Oiler companies so called Gold cards Are actually made with Ralph Nader take Nule brass. Cold select visa the mailing slates is a card that can decisively separate you from your Peers this is a real Selling Point for me. I m in favor of being separated from my Peers. Because what they do is Afler a couple of Beers they Start helping themselves to my cheese Sticks. Parents deserve full explanation of relationship by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i share an apartment with a very Good Friend who happens to be of the opposite sex. We live together because we Are both College students because we enjoy being with each other and because our backgrounds and upbringing arc Simitar and we Are thus Abb to create a Home away from Home atmosphere. The problem is that even when people arc aware of our platonic relationship they sometimes make comments about activities thai might occur Between my Roommate and me when we arc alone. How ought i behave when someone makes such a comm cult in the past i have simply stated that we arc just Good friends or have ignored inc comment. Also How do i convince my parents that there is no wedding to be planned gentle Reader miss manners understands thai shared living quarters do not necessarily indicate romantic involvement and indeed May preclude its development As when incest taboos develop in coeducational College dormitories. Dul she does not expect such understanding of everyone brought up in racier limes when the presumption was thai anyone riven the Opportunity would be up to no Good. Nor should you. You Are living in a manner that must still be to i Sisir