European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 27, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Kias me mimic peer behaviour but thy Ore Ateo Good at recognizing  among various Rutes and standards that surround them. Parental concern Over child s playmate by Marianne Garber. Stephen Garber and of Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service Eadeh s let Ter we litre in an Orea with very div children. Tho one child nearby who my 3 year old enjoys playing with is 5 and not 3 a Judd Model this child uses profanity physically lights or what is his and talks Back to his Mother his parents Ollan spank him severely we Dan t spank our Bon. But to has witnessed his Friend receiving several spankings. Ii my Sun models wry Good Beha Viot at most times co you Ihrk he would abandon this for the the Cha Vii of his 5-Yoai-old peer would you consider it Busl Lor him to have no playmates at All As opposed to what i Corrar Toi a bad playmate  dear . Your concerns Are ones that lace almost every Parent Over the years your son will meet Many children some you will like better than others and some friendships you will encourage. Realistically the older a child is the loss influence parents Havo in selection of friends presently you have Many controls Oner the situation although children May mimic peer behaviour they Are quite sophisticated in recognizing the discrepancies among the various lulls and standards that surround them you can avoid some conflicts by allowing the boys to play together Only at your Home where you can supervise them this will Jet you answer some relevant questions. Does the older child adhere Toyo or stunt funds when hrs s m your home1 if not what is your child s reaction to his Friend s antics7 does he copy his behaviour or is he 3 puzzled observer As Long As the boys enjoy each other s company you May elect to continue the twosome occasionally ii there Ore problems then lurch or limit the Lime they spend together simultaneously begin to introduce your child to of her children organize a play group where each Mother hosts Pfay time once a week. Enrol your child in a preschool or Mother s morning out program some of thu most important learning during the preschool years involves other children lilt a ones must learn How to socialize How to gel along in n group and How to be Independent away irom Home these skills can t be Learned by playing alone along the Way you also will Leach your child your standards or behaviour through Iho years hopefully to will become increasingly peer proof so that he acts according la a conscience reflecting your standards. Reader s letter How do you handle a Tantrum when there is no time to handle it like when you arc walking out the door or in the Middle of an activity you cannot Stop there is no Lime of just ignore the Tantrum or the Tantrum interferes wih your activity. . Is Athens a. Dear j m there s never a Good Lime for a Tantrum. If the tirade is inconvenient and you give in to it you be taught your child that tantrums Are very effective especially when you need she most cooperation. When a Tantrum threatens to interrupt the flow of activity to s Best to continue what you Are doing As you finish the task neither respond of Picas not make Eye Contact with the screaming child. Similarly if you Are leaving and your child is slaying Homo quickly say goodbye and go. If the Tantrum concerns his leaving with you continue the process carry him to the car Laston the scat Bell and gel the show on the Road. A child who begins a Tantrum is also Abo to Stop Ono. When he consistently discovers you will nol give in he will to loss Likely o try the Arctic. As a lest of your new determination the land rums May increase in intensity at first but eventually their duration will Lessen. Think of it As a fever thai must Peak before it Breaks. For the Lod dlr tantrums Are a natural Means of expression thai does t make them easier to endure. However in decreasing land rums is Tho one problem you and your spouse decide to work on Hen you can override. Being consistent becomes easier because you Only have to be totally consistent with thai one behaviour. Overtook other problems if necessary but maintain your composure and deter Minalio during tantrums ii won t take forever Only the length of time required Loi your child to learn these land rums Are no longer effective. Behaviour guide preparing a child to be an audience member enhances the experience. Before Al lending a play dance or movie talk about the plot and whatever the child might see. Play excerpts from the music. Role play appropriate behaviour emphasizing that with live theater Tho performers arc Allec Ted by what the audience docs remind your child to applaud for the performers and do the same for your child. May Leanne gafi0ea. Stephen oaf per and Robyn Freedman spin win Wnm 9 Cima Beurett column in i in allow Page 14 the stars and stripes cd Fai of Yeow new Yoi t the slide the 1e across in Arrow the familiar b schools. I team teachers. 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