European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - October 6, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns looking for classic hits Don t touch that dial by Dave Barry uni he air Lilor monday morning. Traffic s bad. Lei s just turn on the radio see if we can get sumo Good tunes Crank Ilu. Maybe i hey ii some Early stones. Power on. Just reached inc end of 14 classic hits in. Yea and their did explode like parly favors but they were not sorrowful nor did they quiver in fear for they knew eth. Scan Bill Doberman. Him Good. Him Heap Strong. Him your father. Him. San ,. Finished playing 3, i 4 consecutive classic hits with no commercial interruptions dating Back in 1 97b, and now ,.the radiation Cloud is spreading rapidly and we hive unconfirmed reports that. Scan. Liquefied brain parts did dribble la out from their very nostrils but the righteous were not alarmed nay for they were. . Getting sleepy very sleepy. When you hear the words Bill Doberman you off of never mind. I la just drive. Listen to people honk maybe hum a to talc bit maybe even if nobody s looking do a Little singing. I can t gel Noo oot a Lis fac shun. Dropped doughnut was t a missed Opportunity by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners a Beautiful Gat dropped a doughnut on inc floor beside me As i was turning to walk out of a snack shop in a shopping mall i have been puzzled about the meaning of that if in was an Accident or if i missed the Chance to Eccl her. I d like to know How i should have responded so i Don t miss the next Opportunity like thai gentle Reader if there is a Standard flirtation Man Euver the doughnut ploy miss manners is blessedly ignorant of in. Frankly she does not think that was much of an Opportunity you missed. A doughnut cannot be scooped up gracefully like a dropped Handset chief and presented to the lady with a deep meaningful look and an ingratiating excuse me but i believe this is dear miss manners we have been close friends for Many years with a particular couple and several years ago inc wife took up the Art of calligraphy. Now our anniversary birthday and Christmas cards from her Are addressed in calligraphy which is quite attractive. But somehow seeing her name and the name of her husband and children signed in calligraphy leave me cold it s As if in is More important for us to Admire her calligraphy than to receive a warm message of love and caring Wilh a Normal signature. The words love and sincerely Are never written just bold Black calligraphy names. 1 almost eel resentful when opening the cards. Can you suggest a Way for me to tactfully let her know that a Plain love Mary John and the kids in her own handwriting would be More appreciate do gentle readers miss manners is Loo Busy Fielding requests from people who want to do social correspondence on computers to chastise someone for taking an extra Effort with the pen. Your real complain is with the Content not the form anyway. The Way to encourage someone to sign her name with love is to do so yourself when writing to her. Dear miss manners what is the proper procedure for handling a toddler s Accident i refer to any messes my 2vi-Yoar-old son might make while visiting Al family gatherings. My family includes my four siblings their spouses and children and our parents. One older Sisler is unmarried and has t any children. This sister never fails to make disparaging remarks about my son. When he was younger i d go to another room to change his diaper. My Sisler would follow and say do you have to do that Here once she fed him super Rich adult foods when he threw up she talked about it in a gagging voice for an hour. I m trying fairly successfully to potty train him. We were in the family Pool when my son said he needed logo potty. We managed to get Oul of the Pool but he had an Accident on the Lawn. My sister said that whal he had done was very distasteful and asked Why i could t control him belter. Previously i had Felt proud that he did t go in the Pool. He had simply been distracted by the fun until Loo late. We never take him to a Public place unless in s family oriented like a family restaurant or store. Unless i m very sure of his bodily functions i Pul a diaper on him when in Public. I never Felt before that i should Lake these precautions when i m among family Al our very informal rulings with everyone going around in various stages of undress. Centie Reader in is Lime to gel out he family memories of when thai sister was a toddler herself. Perhaps your parents could Tell her a thing or iwo about just How much control the Parent is Able to exercise Over the not yet trained toddler. Miss manners trusts however that even with the family you arc discreet about the unappetizing spectacle of diaper changing. Provided that you were not changing your son on the Best Bedspread your sister deserved what she got for following you out of the room but even close relatives should not be involuntarily subjected to such private functions dear miss manners my Fiance and i Don t have very much Money. After the wedding ceremony we want to go to a local restaurant to cat we have invited our families to join us. 1 am wondering How to word the invitation to let people know that we will be unable to pay for their meals. There seems to be an expectation in this culture that dinner will be bought for everyone after the wedding. As much As we would like to buy our families dinner at a fancy restaurant we can t. Gentle Reader the expectation in this culture is that one entertains wedding go ult after he wedding but giving them a slice of wedding cake and a Glass of punch will do it. It is after All also a tradition of self respecting people not to charge their guests nor la patronize fancy restaurants that they really cannot afford. October 6, 19bb Tori pro mag line
