European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 25, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i have been married five years to a Lovely Man and we have a son who will soon be 2 years old. Last year my husband s sister told me that she was sexually molested by her father when she was very Young. My other sister in Law says the same thing happened to her and added Mother knew this was going on but she did to one thing about it my husband says both Sisters Are telling the truth. He once caught his father in the act of molesting one of the girls and told his Mother. She said just mind your  1 will not allow my in Laws to be alone with my son. My husband is furious with me and keeps saying that happened a Long time ago and it was with girl. I say once a Pervert always a Pervert. My question is there a Chance that my husband is right and that i am unduly concerned can a person change without therapy please answer soon. I m Wor ried. A. ,. Wheeling  Reader dear Wheeling child molesters Are deeply disturbed individuals. It is most unlikely that such a person will change without intensive Long term therapy. There is no Way to Tell if your father in Law is partial Only to Little girls. I certainly would t bet the rent. No Way would i let any child boy or girl be alone with this Man. Tell your husband that you Are not Back ing Down an Inch and that i support you All the Way. Dear Ann Landers i have been married five years. Marriage was a big commitment for me and i decided from Day one to make it work. I read your column faithfully and try and understand what women of the 80s want and Nee from a Man. I listened and tried to learn. I became what i thought was a Man of the 80s every woman s dream come True. I hold her hand in Public. I Shower her with compliments. I Send Flowers and gifts and Teller every Day that i love her. I am too modest to consider myself Good looking but she describes me As tall handsome sexy great  i ask her what i can do to make her Happy and she says  she insists that her life is wonder Ful that i am the perfect husband and that she  change me for anyone in the world. Why then am i writing she is cheating on me. I can t eat. I can t sleep. Her friends Are my friends. I have no one to talk to. I Don t have a minister. I can Tell my family. It s too humiliating. My wife either thinks i Don t know or she does t want to bring it up. I am afraid to talk to her because i fear that once the cat is out of the bag our marriage will be Over. I Don t know if i could Deal with that. Where does a Man go for help women have sup port groups crisis centers and hot lines. Men Are told to be Strong and Deal with  if you print my letter please no name or state. Jus sign me Page 11 letters dear devastated devastated remaining silent is not the answer. You and your wife both know that she is having an affair. Get it out in the open. Tell her you know what is going on and that you want to talk about it. Ask your wife to see a marriage Counselor with you. If she refuses go alone. Men can get the same help women can get. You Don t have to suffer in silence. There is help out there. Get it. And Good Luck. You sound Toogood to be True. Readers wishing to write to los Angeles times Syndicate columnist land ers May address their letters in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211. . Forces european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. Everything advertised in this publication shall be made available for Purchase use or patronage without regard to race color religion sex " "  Sam Dodds teachers competency defended in answer to the letter regarding competency ing i would like to elaborate on Dodds dire. Test or. John Stremple s excellent reply. The Reader is obviously unaware that All Dodds teachers whether in their first or 30th year in the system Are evaluated every year by those most competent to rate them their administrators. I have been in the system for seven years. Each year one or More of my school administrators has come to my classroom and observed my lessons looked at my lesson plans and Grade Book and Parent correspondence. I am also evaluated on relations with colleagues and other staff members As Well As on Parent conferences. This is an ongoing process during the year. I feel that these visits and the follow up conferences with an administrator make Dodds teachers the most closely supervised and rated teachers in any american system. I believe this Type of evaluation to be Superior in determining teacher competency than any written test. I m proud to be a Dodds teacher and proud to sign my name. Dawn Williams Schweinfurt West Germany first of All i know of no other profession with the exception of nursing in which people work so hard for so Little. The teachers in Dodds Are chosen from several places. There Are people who Are recruited and hired from the states. There Are local hires taken from the local Pool within the Community who have been teachers in the states and Are Here because of their sponsor. There Are temporary half time appointments and substitutes. Teachers in the classroom Are evaluated several times throughout the year and direct observations Are made on their performance and competence. Do you really think someone in this Job will suddenly need to prove they Are Able to teach the teachers in Dodds must take College credit periodically paid for out of their own pockets to keep current. They spend a great Deal of time keeping current on such things As new trends in economics computer and video technology As Well As having to Deal in inter personal relationships. Your lawyer or doctor deals with you on a one to one basis. Think How you d feel to have to give this attention to 25 to 30 people All atthe same time teachers maintain order instruct on a Given subject Check for child sex abuse substance abuse Arbi trate personal disputes Between students or even be tween themselves and the student Check for and Correct mistakes keep an Eye on any personal problem the child May have triage any medical needs the child May experience be the person who in the event of a fire or a bomb threat takes your child to safety and make an evaluation of How your child is responding to things such As responsibility health Hygiene and level of competence. Additionally your teacher creates exams to test your child s skills and in an interesting and entertaining manner directs that each bit of new knowledge is Learned in an appropriate age and mental level. Teach ers Call parents when they detect a problem in any number of areas in children s lives. Teachers spend almost As much time with your child As you do teachers hired by Dodds also do this All in a for eign country which they find just As foreign As you do teachers Don t get any Money from june 16 to sept. 15. Dodds teachers will not get the Chance to move to the states since Dodds teachers in a Man Date out of Congress teach the military child overseas so your child can Transfer at a commensurate level anywhere in the states. As defined a Dodds teacher must look at basically living 20 to 30 years in foreign countries. So like any work place you May find excellent teachers or you might even find a to hum teacher who National origin age marital status physical Handicap political affiliation or any other non Merit Factor of the purchaser user or Patron. Military address the stars and stripes Apo 09211. International mail the stars and stripes Postrach 1114 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany Tel Griesheim civilian 06155 6010 ets 348-5741 or 348-5823 telex 0419-332. Tel fax 06155-601376. New York office room 401, 252 seventh ave., new York 10001, Tel area code 212 620-3333. News bureaus Bremerhaven Germany City desk Telephone ets 348-5741 or 348-5823 or civilian 06155-601255. D a Iseji Ballet in Germany Aryl Green Deedee Arrington Doke la info ?9 a �s�larrack8 Apo 09227-3717 Telephone ets 489-6585 or civilian 0631 -52104. Munich Germany Charlie Bowden. Building 16, b stairwell 2nd a local few Cavern soured Apo o940? Telephone ets 440-7320 or Nurnberg Germany Vince Crawley building 21. William o. Darby Cavern Apo 09696 Telephone ets 460-7256 or civilian 0911 -712563. Stuttgart Germany Joseph Owen building 2307, room 403 Patch Barracks. Box 171, apr 09128 Telephone ets 430-8449 or civilian0711 -6877826. Mediterranean j. King Cruger Gary Miller and Alba Bragoli Naples. May simply be worn out by 18 to 20 years of dealing with crises Between children fellow teachers and parents. Perhaps they Aren t As dynamic As that person you envision who is aching to enter this profession. Educators Are faced with an enormous problem that in t going to go away and it promises to get bigger. Many of the teachers in the system Are within 10 years of retirement. There Are very few people anxious to go into education. Industry can offer the new College Grad uate two to three times the salaries that schools offer with the Promise of no Homework no phone Calls or extra duties. It s True no one twisted the teacher s Arm to become a teacher. Most do it because they like Chil Dren they enjoy imparting knowledge they Are dedicated professionals who do a highly understated Job for a Small amount of Money that pays Rich rewards. If you have Ever had to sit Down and teach a child How to read get a Basic math concept explain economics or give a history lesson you can begin to appreciate How challenging a Job you Are asking a human being to do. If you multiply this one task times the number of Chil Dren and add to this All the extra tasks lunchroom playground and bus Monitor the teacher is asked to do you la see How very much you Are asking of one person. Add to that a foreign country experience and you can see you Are getting a bargain whether you retest the competence of that teacher or not. As a Mother of three school age children one at each level of school including a graduating senior am very glad teachers have been Here for me. I believe that the writer who expressed doubt about Dodds teachers skills has one option Home schooling. Name withheld Ramstein a West Germany i would like to propose competency tests for parents. Then society could find the child abusers the drug and alcohol role models the parents who Perpet uate chronic student absenteeism in schools the parents who Don t help or care about their child s Educa Tion the parents who Don t educate their children on aids pregnancies abortions and birth control and the parents who give their children no moral standards or value. Those incompetent parents would be fired from their jobs and replaced by Loving parents who would raise a Happy and Well adjusted child just think How those Parent competency tests could affect the schools with Happy moral informed loved and Well adjusted children schools could drop from their curricula courses dealing with drugs alcohol aids teen pregnancies teen suicide child abuse birth control sex education and even Driver Educa Tion wow time could be spent on rigorous academic subjects unhappy students could t care less about a lesson in math science or English when the night before their father beat them up or their Mother. Now that problem would t exist with All Well adjusted eager and motivated whole some students Many of the excellent teachers who left the profession because of the stress and Low pay would return. Nothing is More rewarding than teaching motivated appreciative emotionally stable students. Do you think Parent competency tests would raise anxiety in some parents american school systems and educators even Dodds Are constantly trying to improve. I wonder if incompetent parents Are trying As hard. Thank Good Ness there Are millions of american students who graduated from our schools and that includes Dodds academically prepared and ambitious thanks to competent parents and teachers Gail Thelin Visgilio Wei Brincken West Germany Tansa of 56 Fpo by �9521 Telephone Auto on 625-1110 ext.4880 or civilian 0039-81-7624049. A kingdom Dave Diehl building 436 Cess us Raf Mildenhall Apo 091 27 Telephone Auto on 238-2226 or civilian 0638-5 1 2226. Washington . Chuck Vinch William Bartman Oast a the Pentagon room 2e756. . Box 46095, Washington. . 20050-6095 Tele Ujj Ryburg be Many John Millar. Room 110, River building apo09036 Telephone ets 350-4704 or civilian 0931 -71 569. Circulation offices Germany Berlin Civ. 8331846, Mil. 6187, ets 332-4412 Bremerhaven Civ. 85168, Mil. 8119, ets 342-8119 Rhein main Frankfurt Civ. 069 692050 or 692565, Mil. 6025 or 7103, ets 330-6025 or 7103, telex 412712 Kalser Lautem Civ. 57070 or 57079, Mil. Vogel Weh 7100 ets 489 7100 Munich Civ. 6901503 or 6901504, Mil. 6556, ets 440-6556 Quern a 1 re zli5?8amil 7001 ets 460-7001 Stuttgart Civ. 0711-8701496, Mil. 7175, ets 420-7175. Greece Athens Civ. 9923390. Italy Vicenza Civ. 515358. Spain Madrid Mil. 00341 205-6600 or Civ. 00341 6561465. Turkey Istanbul Civ. 664372, telex 26174 sans to. United kingdom Civ. Newbury 0635 44768 Auto on 266-3209