European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 23, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns South Florida red sox May yet break Barry Jinx by Dave Barry h s Little league has in of in Here in South Florida i would estimate hut this is the fifth i i lie league season we be h and in thu past year. Thai s the problem with All this Nice weather while most of the is protected for several months each year by i restful Blanket of Frozen slush ave sulm Kiil parents Are trapped in year round youth sports Hull. The we have a High crime role it that Many parents i so Busy providing transportation they have to quit their Job and support their families by robbing Gas stations on their Way to practices Rinnus lessons Etc. But at least our children Are becoming Well rounded. Thai s whal i Tell myself while i watch my son Gantt tint in i Field Hirl Down examining subtropical inn cos who i the Ball Rolls cheerfully past him and seven runners store. If you Don t think it s possible for seven runners to score on a single play you be Nevei Little league baseball game. I Lell myself hut i Iny son wore nut out i Here participating in up girls he would not be learning one of life s most important lessons namely ii does t Mailer whether you win or lose because you ire Deal wildy fio Iny i Lase. My son s Tram always loses this is because to is a Barry. We birr is a tradition of terrible sports Luck dating to my father whose entity High school football car a consisted of a single play which was . The other teams do not have this problem. This it because he first Law of Little league physics which Stales the other team always has much larger kids. You parents have noticed this your child s team always consists of Normal sized children and Llu other team is always sponsored by Earl s mouse Tif sle girls we Are constantly playing against Hajje mutant a year Olds who have More body hair than i Doand drive themselves to. The game. They Chinall hit the Ball and what is worse when they gel on base they steal and there s nothing we can tin about it because our various catchers can t throw All i he Way to second base. Our catchers can hardly walk ont e they gel their equipment on especially the pm Olive cup which is apparently not manufactured in a so i Small enough Ford year Olhs we have looks next to our catchers to be the size of a guard Rescue vessel. Nevertheless t have seen signs of improvement. Recently several red son while leaping backward have managed to hit solid foul bails events which triggered jubilant celebrations among the Long suffering red sox parents who joyously hurled Gas station receipts into the air. 1 honestly think that we re getting better and that despite the Barf y it a we could be in a position to Challenge for the league championship Oral least score a run. In our next season think month. Divorcee irked by questions about sex husband by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners when i was divorced there was a certain amount of visible scandalous behaviour on the part of my sex husband which was the medium sized professional Community in which we both worked. I strove to behave with dignity during inc upheaval. I kept my married surname because 1 had had it longer than my father s surname. What professional stature i had attained was identified with that name and i had no taste for changing my name again. My a husband fur whom i hit behaviour is most ominous. A polite Bride would have Sui zeil Llie chatting finals away from her father in Law by an enthusiastic of or. And mrs Blakely i m so Happy you could be at my wedding she could also have spared of r being in the line at All or accepted lliu1 idea Hal a slow moving line at .1 wedding is not the Are Lesl Oci i disaster. Under the circumstances the Mother of the Bride does seem to have behaved politely which makes miss manners reflect thai there is not always Justice in tip Matching of rude children with rude parents. Dear miss manners when web to the opera Ballet or similar events j like to take my Navy binoculars to enhance my vision. My wife considers them crude rude and uncivilized an embarrassment to her. May i have your comment gentle Reader As your w Ife knows the proper instrument for viewing the stage is one s grandmother s Mother of Pearl opera glasses. They Are charming polite and civilized even if it is almost impossible to see anything through them. Miss manners is in sympathy with people who want to see what is Gol Rig on so she will defend your taking your. Navy binoculars the on a is thai Siwy May nol be used to View other members of the audience when the House tights Are on. Proper opera glasses May be trained on other patrons who Are far. Away probably because everyone knows How weak these glasses Are. Write o Misi manners in care of tie mrs inf stripes Apo 09211. Your question will be font to her. Miss manners regrets of Tel she can answer questions Only in her co urn. March 23,1989 of rpm Magazine
