European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 6, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns columnist clears up Bonsai Banzai confusion by Dave Barry Knight Ridder newspaper today we Are pleased to present another episode of the highly popular feature. Ask or. Language person we were prompted to do his by the unprecedented volume of mail we recently received from Ted Brown of Austin Texas. Or Brown and his wife Are studying the japanese horticultural Art of Bonsai and his letter raises a linguistic question  we Are sure has been nagging tit Many of our faithful readers i have Learned that Bonsai Means tree in a tray Why did the japanese soldiers of yesterday shout Bonsai tree in a tray when they attacked i want to know before we get in too  or. Brown there have been times when we have asked ourselves whether being an internationally respected language authority is Worth All the Effort we put into it. But just when we were about to give up along comes a thought provoking letter such As yours clearly demonstrating the Caliper of our readership and we arc reminded once again Why we had a Security system installed in our Home Elut to answer your question the japanese soldiers except for the members of the much feared 157lh tactical shrubbery division did not. In fact. Yell Bonsai when they attacked. What they yelled was Banzai literally there is a cheese in my clarinet is everything Clear now or Brown just nod your head. Good now get some rest. Now that we be straightened that out let s address some other common grammatical questions that  of you readers would probably have written to us about if you were allowed la possess Pencil and other such Sharp objects q. Dear or. Language person a ease explain the Correct usage of the phrase real Good  a. It is used in sports broadcasting to connote that somebody has had an unusual amount of Good Success and it should always be followed by the phrase boy i la say for example. Announcer this Gomez has had real Good Success Hilling the Ball  color person Bey i la  q. Dear or. Language person i be been having a debate with my Friend Bob Over the use of further is. Farther i say he two words have come la mean pretty much the same thing but Dob insists that farther May be used Only in reference to linear distance i m going to kill him with a tug wrench. A. We know what you moan q. Dear or. Language person please explain the. Difference Between Lay and  a the key. To using these similar sounding words or hormones correctly is to understand that Flay is a transient verb whose past particle is Laden or sometimes loan As in loan me some of them doritos whereas lie May be used either As an article of injunction that s a Liei or in a Marsupial phrase i told you kids never to lie Kangaroo parts on the ottoman. The  Way to remember All this is to simply memorize this phrase Nan found grubs in the  q. Dear or. Language person what does per be actually . Per is a phrase that was invented  ancient latins to express the concept if you catch my Drift As in unfortunately your Blind Date is not exactly Kevin Costner  a dear or language person recently the company where i work received the following letter a bomb has been placed on one of you re  my supervisor a High school graduate says this is Correct but i think the proper punctuation is a bomb has been placed on one of you re  we have been arguing about this for Days and Are dying to know whom is Correct.,. A. Neither of you Are. The Correct version is a bomb has been placed in one of you re air planes a dear or. Language person which is preferable construction of this sentence the Rev Swaggart was real fond of this Here pose or the Rev. Swaggart was real fond of this pose Here a they Are both preferable. Today s tip for fiction writers a Good Way to liven up the plot of a novel l to give the characters some romantic interest. Wrong Doreen entered the room. Right Doreen entered Tho room fell eagerly into Roger s waiting arms and kissed him deeply. Hostess should be made an exception to her Rule by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners my sex husband and i Hay each been invited to a targe formal affair to be Given by Mutual friends. The hostess informed me that she was allowing Only those single people who have been involved in a Long term relationship to bring an escort. Although i have Bacn seeing someone for several months she told me i did not fit into this category i Learned later that my sex husband did. It will be humiliating to attend his affair unescorted while my a in with his Girlfriend. The hostess knows How uncomfortable i am around him and i am Hurt that she would be so insensitive As to Pul me in this position. There will be very few unescorted single people and i feel that she should have allowed us the option of bringing an escort. Gentle Reader permit miss manners a moment of sympathy with your hostess. Once people were allowed to decide who their guests would tie. Permanent it was thought attachments which is to say marriages and engagements were recognized in invitations transient ones were nol. Today who can Tell a which is what yet if the hostess asks everyone to bring someone Litolf her Muesli May be strangers to her. Your Friend has merely tried in gel Back to welcoming Only serious additions i o her social Circle. Nevertheless there Are always hardship circumstances to be considered that is Why we have courts of etiquette and you arc appealing to her now and miss manners agrees that an exception should have been made for your  dear miss manners when i  the manners of my japanese friends i often feel like an ugly american in my own country. For example i found out that la panes Courtesy requires that an invitation be declined three times before being  i damaged my Friendship with a japanese woman who is Livi not Here temporarily by jumping at her gracious invitations and never persuading her to accept mine. Also my japanese friends find ways to give me presents when they visit me. The timing and selection of these Gills Are mysteries 16 me. Should i continue in qty uncouth Western ways or try to reciprocate in kind i How about when i visit in Laws and friends in Japan. Gentle Reader it is not Only been use the is a pedant that miss manners reminds you that the title character of the ugly american was n wonderful Man who Only sought to help the foreigners among whom he lived. The nickname inspired by his appearance has been misused Ever since to describe americans who behave arrogantly when abroad. Miss manner s Point is thai one need not be ashamed of american behaviour which at its Best is free St Crau ind dignified. Japanese mariners Are More elaborate than american but miss manners does not concede that they Are better. In any Case this is not a contest. Your japanese friends and in Laws know i Here is a cultural difference and they should be As interested in understanding our manners As you in understanding theirs. The manners of the country Ono is in generally prevail although people from neither country will be Able to mimic the other country s behaviour perfectly an attempt to learn what is proper including asking que salons i. Sufficient evidence of Good will. Incident Ity miss manners is counting on you tactfully to Lei your Friend Here before she finds herself in social isolation that urging invitations after they have been declined is considered intrusive in America and Quick acc Planco is flattering., dear miss manners my father had just landed a new Job and called me to say he would be in own on a business rip. I invited him for dinner but he did t know which Day he would be Here. He said he would Call the next Day. He did not two Days Lacr he called and said he was in own and would like to come that evening. I said  then to said How about if i bring my Boss he s Silling right Here.", 1 asked i f it was necessary and he said sure is we Al be there at  packed up the kids and flew to the grocery store to get More food. When he arrived he was alone and said his Boss do coded not to come. Would it have Boon Imp Porto throw the extra food at him i m Only half kidding gentle Reader to Dnn t throw fond at daddy even when he has behaved badly sorry. However we do say in an affectionate tone daddy for heaven s Lake. I love to have you Here but give me a little1 warning so i can plan. I tried to do you proud in front of your Boss Wilh no notice or Choice about the Mailer and nothing came of it dear miss manners your expertise is solicited in How to Deal with people who want to to recognized by name by the clergymen who have officiated at marriages in their family know thai in would Halter them i no end if i could come up Wilh their names. But As i get older that becomes More difficult. Gentle Reader surely it is a forgivable delusion that the third principal at the altar should remember a wedding As Well As Ihu other two. Mis manners is no claiming thai it is reasonable or possible Only that la is charming. To find oneself forgotten As Only one of Many by someone who has been an important figure in one s life can be devastating this is a Case in which a Rule of morals always Tell the truth must be weighed against a Rule of manners never i nil id unnecessary cruelly ,. Miss manners conscience tells her that the latter takes precedence. Sho Hopes yours will allow you to say i m afraid t have a disgracefully bad memory far names but i la never forget How radial you looked on your wedding  april 6,19b9 so Ripe i Gulant