European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 15, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse Saturday april 15,1989 the stars and stripes commentary on your Mark get set cheat by Scott angles times remember when you could t Tell the players without a program now you can Lell the players because they be Oil been on the cover of people mag Azine and have starred in deodorant commercials. However,1 we have entered an Era in which you can t Tell the Winner without a urine test n polygraph printout and an appellate court ruling. The 1980s, friends arc the Golden age of cheat ing. ". Pick a Sporl. Yachting a the America s cup. Honorable com Elilion on the High seas. A More Manly and honest sport you could no find unless Money and Power and ego happen to become involved. / a judge has stripped America of the America s. Cup because Dennis Captain Cha Slick Conner and his corporate boardroom Sailor elected to de fend the cup Wilh a double hulled boat producing a pathetic and unsportsmanlike mismatch. If you re not familiar with might help to think of Conner s boat in thai race As a Sailboat on steroids. Even a Home court read american judge could t Rule in America s favor on this one and new zealand was awarded inc cup which by now has All the intrinsic value of a big gulp Mug Down at the 7-Elevcn. But the americans arc confident they can reclaim tic cup. Because we have better sailors no because we Hove courts of Appeal. speaking of steroids has there been a race this decade human or Equine that we can believe in remember Ben Johnson world s fas Lesi hormone and he s Only the tip of the hypodermic Needle. Bulgaria comes to the olympics with the world s Gre Alcil Over team but without steroids those Guys could t pull up their socks. Halfway through inc olympics the bulgarians abruptly leave Seoul called Home loan emergency meeting of anabolic unanimous. Bodybuilding a sport where you win with mirrors is known to Harbor a steroid abuser or two. A recent International bodybuilding Champion posed for ads in a muscle Magazine boasting of How he trained drug free. Unfortunately that was a Lypo. He trained Wilh free drugs football players and other athletes seem to be. Popping steroids its though they arc breath mints and some might be dying from the Side effects. They look Damn Good in the coffins though possibly be cause some a Meatmen arc spiking inc formaldehyde with Diana Bol. Unfair advantage is the ultimate goal and nobody achieves in better than the great american Hunter backed by the National Rifle association. The Era is righting for the right a sportsmen Hunt ers to pack sub machine guns. This is a survival no pcs sity you can t fully appreciate unless you Vesceri a Hunter who a been mauled by a rogue Mallard personally i m not in favor of drive by Hunting but ii s a Boon for the taxidermists. When you Hunt Wilh a sub machine gun before you gel your trophy kill stuffed and mounted you have to get it re Hunting Deer a Vii an assault Rifle is a bit of an overkill Tike trimming your Mustache Wilh a Guil Lotine. But then i m no Hunter i gel squeamish step Ping on a cockroach. Baseball has been a Haven for cheaters for a Cen tur but mostly it has been the fair Kii Illif cheating like the phantom double play and the outfielder proudly waving the Ball he just trapped now the National pastime h moving into new Arenas of cheat ing.-1. Pete Rose has t been fingered for Belliii on base Ball games but he May have spread himself thin in a different area. It appears 1 Ete May have sold to Sou Venir dealers 1he 4,192 bats he used the 4,192 balk he hit and the 4.192 uniforms he wore the nigh he got his 4,192nd s real in baseball bats arc corked balls arc scuffed gloves arc tarred and columns arc ghosted. Mets Pitcher David Cone ripped the dodgers in his newspaper column during last year s National league playoff series. In his next column. Cone explained that a sportswriter not David had written the Hatchet column. The next Day Cone wrote that he had t written the column apologizing for the firs column. This was a working definition of Infinity. But that s minor league stuff. Moving up to the big leagues of dishonesty Wade Boges allegedly cheated on his wife for four years before getting caught one of those baseball records that like the streaks of Dimaggio and Gehrig. May never be Bro Ken. -. " the most disillusioning disclosure to come of of the Wade Marge affair was Mario s expose on Auto graphs. In a Magazine article she claims thai most players Don t actually sign Hose souvenir photos and baseballs that Are mailed out or sold with their pre Cious signatures. Often the autographs arc forged by a Flunky. Ziggy the Bellboy maybe. Pretty soon at those celebrity card shows Ziggy the Bellboy will have his own Auto graph Booth. ". Step right up. Folks. For five dollars you can have the autograph of the kid who signs Wade Boggs autographs. No counterfeit Bills please just make sure it s Ziggy signing your autograph Book fans and not some Ltd impersonating Ziggy. By the Way Mirgo arc you sure thai Wade. -. The 1980s Aren t Over. When they arc Well Vole for the decade s top cheaters. They la be sent on an around the world cruise aboard a twin Hull a Tel. Certified seaworthy by Peic Rose and piloted by inc former skipper of the Exxon Valdez. Bon voyage. German american baseball s giant Steps. -. -. " .641 dirt Bob " Frankfurt Nuudi Ajdei onus Hal Man Rich Hiis Lingoes in front of Catcher Sandy Newman Stiitt writer Frankfurt West Germany with major league baseball diving head first into Cable if Visnji the German american Liaw Ball league wants to steal some to act Ion. Make that the Tele 5 gel Man Ameri can Bas Ditill la ague such is the name of inc expanded. 10 Leam Ico Euc after it hooked up with the Munich based cow Lalion last Winter. They Nan to promote baseball,".say so a president Helmig who founded the league in 197,9. It s in Wiir inter est too.". When the o a season opens next sat urday with Darmstadt visiting Mainz its four year contract with Tele 5 will kick in this my i uniforms will be armed with the 5 palches. 2 balls will to ii attic stamp. 3. Tele 5 will have exclusive rights to him games with the Lone exemption going loan Tele 5 Lias agreed to air a a highlights on its 9 . 1 thursday sports show. The Cable nation already carries major league baseball nil and Aba action. Wc-.warii1 to introduce has Bat ".to"-. Germany Sas Jochen Krohns head of to a Bra Nini ing. We want to lest i Ouli this is no Cit Man sport. We Hope to develop g a Basi ill wants a piece of that Cable Money and in would taste some if a up 10 the to plate we re looking it r something like 1 15 Mcdonald s Mayer of the week says Helmig. Helmig a sporting goods company in Mun Nchim is running All Over the commercial Field. He persuaded Easton to donate Bais to his league and Rowlings to Ili Miv is nearly 500 balls i just talked to them says Helmig them baseball will be popular in. Germany and they can gel their product Here right from the another Angle Helmig wants to Man age i German team in inc \ 2 olym pics where baseball will be n medal sport fur the first Lime. I would take it be he says a year away from the manager Al so Lection process. Helmig who was born in this financial Center 53 years ago knows his baseball. Lie trained with the Baltimore orioles in the Spring of 1957 and pitched for their 1 wins Texas class d team that summer lie managed inc Mannheim a i Osford a decade winning seven German Ameri can league titles before making his big. Get Trade this year Helmig to the renewed Fransi Kurt giants for nobody to be named Beer 1 Helmig turned Over the Amigos to his son Martin and took Ovit the giants As part of his expansion scheme. So Frankfurt is Back in the league after a five year break. The giants join Mann Heim. Mainz Darmstadt and Gic Ssan in the Northern division the South has. Holdovers nil Reburg and soul bar plus newcomers Augsburg bad t6lz and Heilbronn Bamburg and rams Cin the last air Force baseball team arc out. Add and subtract Waslof inc at Juve find the Tele s a a league has bulged from eight teams to 10 teams in one s More solid lays he Mig. Recal. Ling his teetering league of the Early 9sos, which was riddled with forfeits. Alter. 10 years 1 Havir a fed for in if in s bad or improving. It looks real Good Jou know says Hormig. I m for a balanced league. Then you Sec Good Basc. Ball and then you get the fans. That s Why i m not staying in Mannheim to win Ano her championship. Frankfurt do serves a Good baseball Leam. Eventually i Hope to gel More Ger. Man players Tike the German american football league.". \ " As scarce As German baseball players see baseball on page.2b
