European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 26, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers Ann Landers is on vacation. The following column is a rerun. Her regular column will resume sept. 3. Dear Ann Landers five years ago we Learned that my wife had multiple sclerosis. She managed Well until recently. She is be coming severely incapacitated and i know she is de pressed. Someone told me that you printed a wonder Ful letter a few years ago from a Man whose wife had . Will you print it again i need help. St. Petersburg dear St. Petersburg thai letter appeared in 1966. It would mean Little without the original letter so i am printing both. Dear Ann Landers for 25 years i have been married to a woman who has multiple sclerosis. If i held an 8-to-s Job i could have fairly easy life but i would need to hire a companion for my wife. Instead. I have arranged to be close by and yet not a Handmaiden to her. I own and operate a summer Camp Tor boys. In the Winter i run a ski Lodge. I m an Active. Tun Loving 47. I enjoy Mountain climbing skiing horseback Riding camping and fish ing. I m becoming frustrated because of what i am missing. I d give anything to put my arms around woman and feel the response of her Arm around me. 1 want to walk into a dining room with a woman at my Side. I want to dance and swim and hike with a woman who shares my love of nature. I ache for the companionship of a female who can do something with me besides  it possible to share such pleasures with another woman without becoming emotionally involved 1 doubt it. What s the alternative what about others who arc married to crippled mates can you give us some realistic advice signature withheld on request dear Friend ii would be easy to respond with pious platitudes but your frankness and honesty deserve better. Frequently when i Lack the knowledge or experience o advise a Reader i Call on an expert. The expert i have called on today is a Chicago colleague. His answer tells you More about him than i could. Mere it 1st dear or. Ann Landers has asked me to answer your letter. I do not have Ann s Wisdom but i do have intimate knowledge of your problem since i have lived with it for 19 years. There is no Universal solution because the needs and the temperament of individuals differ. A solution that makes sense to me May be unacceptable to you. You say Many Normal activities Are denied you be cause of your wife s affliction. I Hope you have not magnified the importance of these activities merely because you feel you Are being cheated. Some men have wives who can dance All night but they have unhappy mar  wife s disability is tragic but it would be infinitely More tragic if you allow it to emitter you. Try to think of her misfortune As your Opportunity for personal fulfilment. How Many people feel truly needed Well you Are. If you Are frustrated and restless i suggest you keep it to yourself. Remember your wife is missing some things too. I also suggest that you steer Clear of companionable relationships with other women. Such relationships Are difficult to control. The first step in your adjustment is to forget the alternatives. Take your wife with you wherever you can even in � wheelchair. Keep her Hopes alive. Encourage her to exercise and do whatever she can to feel useful. Work with my wife every evening in therapy sessions. She has Given me some real lessons in courage. We All Admire maturity selflessness and compassion but no one is born with these qualities. Circumstances have Given you a rare Opportunity to acquire them. Asan Landers says it s not what happens to us but How we take it that  Anonymous please letters problems of atm machine explained As a family member and civilian employee this is my third overseas tour and second in Frankfurt West Germany. While i May not care for some of the inconveniences or differences while overseas i try to accept them and do not make a habit of complaining publicly. However the current situation has gone on too Long and i do feel an explanation is necessary. Several months ago. Merchant s Bank in Frankfurt installed a new atm machine in the main shopping Center. To say that it was definitely Long overdue is an understatement the old machine was definitely antiquated. Customers were made to feel that this would indeed be an improvement. The new machine also has its shortfalls. I have not been Able to obtain a receipt from this machine since May 19. To some this May not be a big Deal but since without a receipt i feel like i have no record of my transaction i do consider no receipt a big Deal. There is a big sign posted on the machine that the receipt Printer is faulty and the technician has been notified. Well if. He s been notified my question is when is the technician coming secondly three weekends in a Row i attempted to use the atm at the Hospital it was always out of  so what s the Story i must add that while living in the United states for four years before returning to West Germany i was a faithful atm customer. In All that time i can count on one hand the number of times that the machine i usually used was out of service and i always received a receipt. Come on merchants give your customers service they can depend on. Name withheld Frankfurt West Germany editor s note Yvonne Wise manager pub Lic Media relations merchants National Community Bank replies your letter echoes the frustration of faithful atm customers everywhere As Well As our own at not being Able to provide a perfect machine with a perfect error free operating system. We know a perfect machine does not exist in this world but you can believe All our efforts to Pilot and test the network of almost 100 machines Are concentrated on making it As perfect As existing state of the Art technology allows. That noise you hear on a monday morning is the collective of no not a alar cry emitted by Mer chants Bank employees from one end of Germany and Holland to the other. The restrictions of German labor Law against monitoring and servicing the machines from saturday afternoon to monday morning Are getting us All Down. We know weekend transaction numbers soar and that this tremendous increase May be what is causing our system to go Down but we Are not allowed to be there to see the effect. When we arrive at 7 o clock on monday morning the moment has passed in spite of traps we set to capture and identify the problem and our systems people Are Back to waiting for it to occur just once Dur ing the week when they Are there watching it like a Hawki the receipt Printer at the Frankfurt shopping Center atm gave us fits until july 1, but now is behaving quite nicely. The manufacturer s technician finally did the necessary Fine tuning. Our original software for the atm system was de signed to shut Down the machine when it ran out of receipt paper. However during the Pilot phase the majority of customers Felt that having the machine stay in service albeit with no receipt was a better service than having no machine at All. Weekend mechanical problems did occur in May at the 97th general Hospital machine. The most critical interns of downtime were a customer keyboard failure and a card Jam. Just a matter of information the manufacturer s nor technicians Only service the machines during the week not on saturday or sunday. Dependable but not perfect atm service for our customers is an achievable goal. You will have it. We Are working like crazy to make in happen. Writer bemoans occupation by soviets Twenty one years ago on aug. 21, the Warsaw pact armies marched into Czechoslovakia. Led by russians East germans hungarians and unfortunately also pol ish armies they came to trample Down our Effort to restore democracy and establish non communist Czechoslovakia with Freedom for All czechs regardless of their political beliefs. The czech government headed by Alexander dub cock knew already in 1968 that communism docs not work. The communist and socialist governments today Are saying or trying to modify Gorbachev s statement we need democracy like we need the air to  the world now knows that communism after 40 or 70 years of existence will never work. These communist nations for whom we Are buying and financing democracy in the opinion of czech political refugees should not have the Honorof a standing  after so Many years in is now Way too late to be smart. We the czech political refugees living practically our lifetime in exile do not agree with presi Dent Bush s opinion on communism and with his statement the world is looking at Poland  hundreds of thousands of czech political refugees arc definitely not looking on the polish people now push ing for democracy. Many members of the Solidar nost today were Young soldiers in 196v. As part of the occupation Force in Czechoslovakia. Who looked 21 years ago upon desperately Strug gling Little Coccho Slovakia for democracy that nobody in the Western world had to pay billions of dollars for How Long will this so called democracy for Sale last there probably Only As Long As there arc dollars left in the polish Bank and Gorbachev is still alive. The struggle in Czechoslovakia in 1968 to get out of the russians Handcuffs was not Only in the month of August. It was a political movement lasting quite a few months prior to that. The free world did t move one Little Finger to help this slavic nation which in 1918structured its government according to the one which the United states has. Where is glasnost and perestroika with rus sians still occupying countries which in world War ii were their allies does in make any sense Vaclav Havel bad Tsiz West Germany Alt letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. We do not read unsigned letters Bat we will withhold your name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. European coition col Jeffrey m. Cook. Usa commander cd Tor in chief it col Suzanne a Phillips. Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Komicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Co Mott production manager. Managing editor. Orc Lalion manager this newspaper is an Auto Steed unofficial pub cation Lor members of the uni Tatary services overseas. Contents of thet stare and stapes Are not nc0uarily the official views of. Or endorsed by. The  government the department of defense of me . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication. Including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by me Depaur it of de sense or the Sims and stripes of me products or services advertised. Everything advertised in ins publication Shal be made available Lor Purchase use or patronage without regard u race color retain be. National origin age Maui status. Physical Handicap. Comical  or any Otter non Mem Lector of the purchaser user or Patron. Main office switchboard 06155-6010 ets 348-5741 or 5823 or 5747. For departments dial 00155-601 p69. Brussels Belgium David Tarrant International press Center. 1 Boulevard aur Magne to 45,1041 Brussels we phone chilian 00322 Mediterranean j. King cruder and Varv Ziherl Naples. Italy Asa Box 56. Fpo 09521 Telephone Auto on 625-1110 Eit 4660 or civilian 0039-81-7624049. New York City room 401,252 seventh ave. New York 10001 Tele phone 2121620-3333. United kingdom Dave com. Butt try 436 Cess us. Raf Milden Lull. Apo 09127 Telephone Auto on 238-2226 or mum 0636-512226. Washington  Chuck much. Wattam Banman. Oast a the Pentagon room 2e7s6. . Box 46095, Washington. . 20050-6095. Lew phone 202-697-6699. Education Dave Wetaka. 06155401226 or ets 346 5741," medbintjsTtoaoostino.06l55-50l32�oret334.574l. Business Bandy Modem 06155-601326 or ets 348-5741, circulation offices Germany Bertriz civilian 8331645. Ets 332-4412 Bremerhaven civil Ian 0471-85166, ets 342-8118 Rhem main a. Emun om-692050 or 692565. Ets 330-6025 or 7103, telex 412712 kaisers Leukum. Ovian 0631-57070 or 57079. Ets 48� 7100 Munich Chiton 06m901s03 or 6901504. Ets 440-6556 Numberg chilian 0911-712556, ets 460-7001 Stutt a xovilan071t-m19 5.etl3420-7l7s. Of text Athens. Chsn 9923390. It Aly  0444 515358. Ets 534.7545. Spain  003411206800. Cruman 00341 6561485.turkey lumoul.ctvi�n6�4i7j.tele�2i4san3tn. United kingdom civilian Nev Bury 0635-44768. Auto on 26s-3m9