European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 12, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                7 afraid of and. Instead will a Hibit anxiety in other ways refusing to go to school or acting up a Horne or in the classroom in lad schoolteachers and Counselor Ollyn arc the Hist to realize that a child is suffering from unresolved fears because that s often where problems first crop up sometimes school Itsell can present a Multi Lide of worries Shelia Davis a guidance Counselor at a Baltimore Middle school m the Middle of an impoverished troubled neighbourhood says her charges Ollon confront fears that More Middle class children never face she s had students who Gol pregnant and were told by a relative. Good we need another Check anyway students who have to feed and Drc s and Gol their younger siblings to school Bolo re they can got themselves off to class students who Don t have Tare Klast before school or any hmm to Wear childhood fears children s fears vary with Are. Only when they arc persistent interfere with Normal life or occur Al to wrong stage do icy Call for treatment 0-6 months . Of Hippo re loud noises 7-12 months strangers Heights sudden unexpected and looming objects 1 year sep Ilion Iron it Erst. Toilet injury strangers 2 years a multitude of sources including loud noises vacuum cleaners Serrins alarm. Trucks and Thunder animals dark room separation darn Parent Larryo objects or machines chair jul a in personal environment strange Peers 3 years masks dark animals separation Iran Parent 4 years separation from Parent animals dark noises including at night 5 years animals bad people dark separation irom Pir Ril bodily harm 6 years supernatural beings e g ghosts witches Darlh Vader bodily injuries Thunder and lightning dark sleeping or slaying alone separation from Parent 7-8 years supernatural beings dark Media events leg news reports the threat of nuclear War or child kidnapping slaying alone bodily injury 9-12 years tests and examinations at school school Perl romances bodily injury physical appearance Thunder and lightning death dark teens social performance sexuality questions will become More polished and less  there Are several things parents should and should not do when their children announce that they Are thinking of dropping Oul of College. Remember that a child s announcement that he is leaving school May be More of a test of your reaction than a firm decision on his part listen to his reasons s without belittling his tears or quickly suggesting alternatives to non us Monla and allow your child to ventilate his feelings Don t say these Are the Best years of your life said Burgell. Thai s a myth and it does t help the Slud enl to hear that " such statements Are depressing and threatening to a student who is feeling overwhelmed. Ask him about his tears even if he has not spoken of them. It is often us Lumo describe some of your own Lears when you first went to College., started a new Job or moved into a new neighbourhood i try to get students to stare their fears in the face Burgell said even though we can i ameliorate the pain we can reassure them that the pain is Normal they re so Happy to hear thai usually what students want to hear is that they re Normal capable and healthy " Don t offer solutions instead alter listening to him reaffirm your Laith in his abilities and Reler him to the student counselling Center lot him know that everyone needs support at times. Member 12, 1989 parental preconceptions by Marianne and Stephen w. Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service Reader s letter referring to your article about a child s ear of storms i was also afraid of storms when i was Little. My Mother was beside herself trying to allay my fright. In one big storm she said to me you know i bet you god likes to change his furniture from time to time and it makes the sky shake and  i believed her and any time there is a storm i think of that. Of course i am a senior citizen but i just thought sometimes such simple explanations soothe a Little child. Sincerely  dear . There s much Wisdom that s been passed Down through the Ages. Every one of us has been told a tale at one time or another that got us through a situation helped us feel less frightened or less alone. A reasonable explanation can soothe a worried mind because Many negative emotions arise Iron a Lack of understanding. But the explanation is Best when it s truthful. There Are occasions when fiction is harmful or the facts Are never introduced there s a reason for the old adage thai truth is the Best policy. Yet it s difficult Lor most parents to know How Many facts to Oiler. We Veall heard the Story about the youngster who asks his Parent where did i come irom flustered the Parent begins a detailed explanation of the facts of life. Finally the child who has listened patiently interrupts saying no i mean which Hospital was i born in each of us brings our own tears and preconceptions to the parenting task. There Are Many wives tales and truisms we grew up believing. How Many Are parents passing on to the next generation try your hand by circling True or false Lor each statement. You May to surprised by some o the answers t. You can i spoil a child under 6 months of age. S. Milk makes cold symptoms worse. 3. Babies must burp alter every leading. 4. Feed a cold starve a lever. 5. Eating carrots will improve a child s vision. 6. Babies usually cry the most Between 6 and 11 . 7. All babies need one Bowel movement a Day. 8 cold weather and wet Leet cause colds. 9. Hot Chicken soup can cure the common cold. A crossing your eyes on purpose May cause them to Slick in that position permanently. 11. Reading in poor Light can damage your child s eyes 12. Sitting Loo close to the television is bad for your child s eyes. 13. Cracking Knuckles makes them larger. 14 use Peanut Butler to gel gum out Ola child s hair 15. Food additives cause hyperactivity. 16. Ii you pull Oul a Gray hair seven will grow in its place Here Are the answers the source for Many is the Parent s when not to worry Book by Barry Behrstock Harper & Row 1981 1 of 2 of 3 of 4 f. 5 f. 6 to 7 of 8 of 9 of 10 of 11 f. The stars and stripes Page 15