European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 24, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Children often enjoy a More intense relationship with grandparents than with parents. New meaning to grandparen1hood by Lawrence Kutner new York times he moment your child has a child is the beginning of a now set of relationships and a new Way of viewing yourself taking on the Lillo grandparent is an event that is embraced by most adults in the United Stales and dreaded by a few. It is an Opportunity that Many americans All but take for granted but one that their own grandparents did not count on. This is the first generation of older people who live Long enough that most of them can expect to have grandchildren said or. Andrew Cherlin a professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore who has been studying Iho relationships Between grandparents and grandchildren. This has Only been Irue since the Middle of the  sociologists have also found dramatic differences in the numbers of grandchildren that grandparents have had Over the past 100 years. At the Lurn of the Century 60-year-old grandparents averaged 12 to 15 grandchildren in the United slates said Peter Uhlenberg. An associate professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill today he says a typical 60-year-old grandparent has Only three. Often this leads to a More intense relationship Between the two generations research on How new grandparents perceive their status has shown lev Clear Cut patterns aside irom the pervasive feeling of satisfaction reported in most studies ii Means lots of different things to different people said or Helen Kiv Mck a visiting associate professor of social service administration at the University of Chicago and the author of the meaning of grand parenthood Umi research press 5982. A lot of grandparents talk about it As getting a second Chance she con mod. Thai Means being More patient and devoted to their grandchildren and More nurturing of their own  she has found that grandfathers Over 65, especially. Tend to be More physically affectionate with their grandchildren than they were with their children. Other research has found that relationships Between grandparents and grandchildren Are quite different irom those Between parents and children while some of the differences Are obvious others arc quite Subtle though extremely in Porlant for All three generations. Kids Don t see wrinkles m their grandparents said or Arthur Kornhaber a child psychiatrist and Percsi Donl of the foundation Lor Oran parenting who uses thai metaphor to characterize the special Bond commonly left Between those generations grandparents Aren t a threat to children he added kids also see choir grandparents As More vulnerable than their parents which is one of the reasons Why they behave differently around  his research has found that most grandparents Are much less judgmental than parents who tend to see their children As reflections of themselves. For children who often feel Asil Hoy Are being evaluated by the adults around them the relationship with grandparents is therefore unusual and much welcomed ii establishes grandparents and grandchildren As allies in a family. There s a playful and wonderful conspiracy against the Middle generation Korn Hathor said the benefits of that conspiracy May be lost if grandparents live far away As is the Case in a growing number of families As a Way of nurturing relationships in 1985 Kornhaber started a summer Camp in the Adirondacks where Long distance grandparents and grandchildren can spend a week together what they do is just hang out together Hosa d when he tried organising activities throughout Iho Day they simply got in the Way instead he Lound that no Mailer what the Ages of the children the two generations tended to spend their time in , informal activities like picking berries or singing songs it s such a Relief for kids who have to produce at school and adults who have to produce at work he added Kornhaber also Lound that children pay very close attention to How their parcels treat heir grandparents he said parents have a vested interest in examining this Issue closely. Ii forms the template for the Way these children will Ireal their parents when the children grow up " sunday september 24, 1989 grandma who have to be mom again by Catherine Dressler associated press a Lbert and Mary i. F a Johnson hoped after a lifetime of hard wok to retire Cla and enjoy Golf travelling and doting a on their two Young grandchild Crinstead the Anaheim. Calif. Couple Are raising then grandchildren while their 28-year-old daughter Battles addiction to alcohol cocaine and heroin we re not the grandparents Lottie a children an mom we re the  raid Johnson 67. Ii s vory miserable 1 we be already raised our Lamil the fact is we have very like time Lor ourselves " the Johnsons Aren t alone. Despite the stress of financial and health problems Many grandparents Are Ramg grandchildren because addicted parents can i do the Job of Perls say ii Dell cult Lor Thorn to Start Over again what hey did with their own children years ago does t work no said Sylvie do Toledo a social worker at the psychiatric clinic for youth in Long Beach. Calil who loomed a support group called grandpa Only As parents in August 1987. About 50 grandmothers from Vartti social arid economic backgrounds belong to the group some of the children s parents died arc ill or were injured but Many neglected or abandoned their kids while abusing drugs or alcohol. The Johnsons grandchildren. 6 year old Mark and 7 year old Nicole must be d Iven to visit playmates since children Are scarce in their neighbourhood the children s friends sometimes visit but mrs. Johnson. 06. Said. I be got my hands full with these two alone despite the burdens Johnson who has suffered two heart attacks and twice has undergone open heart surgery says Hoy have no Choice but to give choir grandchildren a Good Home until their daughter can care Lor them. They Don t want to see the children split up or put in Foster  do Toledo said. They love these kids " it s not known How Many children Are raised by grandparents but social agencies say the number is increasing especially in bigger Cilious plagued by drugs said David Liederman executive director of the child welfare league of America. It s not new that grandparents have stepped in to Lake care of grandchildren he said i think it s increased at a More than Normal rate because of the tremendous increase in drug related problems " grandmothers sometimes gel stuck raising children despite poor vision arthritis or other health problems that prevent them from providing adequate care said Calvin Walker a supervisor at the new opportunities for the aging Center in Pittsburgh s mostly poor Hill District neighbourhood the Center sometimes helps in the worst situations by finding a Babysitter poverty urls the Cycle in which the grandmother raises up to three generations Walker said the grandmother turns into the maternal Parent it s like she was my Mother s Mother now she s my Mother and in some instances she s my baby s Mother " de Toledo said the grandmothers she counsels Range in age from i hair Early 40s to late 70s. Some resent their child roaring responsibilities. They Don t have the Energy the patience the stamina that they used to have the majority have worked All their lives and now have used whatever they had saved Lor retirement the stars and stripes Page 17