European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 25, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Monday september 25,1989 the stars and stripes Ann Landers dear Ann Landers your column on reconciliation Day changed my life. But let me Start at the beginning. My brother and i were born Only 20 months apart. Mom dressed us alike and Many people thought we were twins. Tommy was better at basketball but i was better at soccer. He played a great trombone and i was pretty Good on the Drums. I was Lousy in English and he did my Homework. He was t so hot in math so i helped him out. We were competitive like most Brothers but there were never any serious fights or arguments. The Only big falling out was Over a girl. Tommy was nutty about her but she liked me better. It was always understood that my brother and 1 would go into the family business started by our grand father. We knew something about it having worked there most Summers since we were teen agers. Tommy being older went in first. I decided to take a year off after College and travel. While i was in South America dad died suddenly of a heart attack. When i came Home for the funeral i got the Shock of my life. He did not have a will. Mom inherited everything. She was very fond of Tom s wife and did t care much for mine so the Long and Short of it was that i was out of Luck. My wife and i decided to move out of town borrow some Money from her father and Start our own Busi Ness. We Cut All family lies. Ten years passed. Mom died. We did not go to her funeral. I was angry and bitter having Felt that i had been cheated. Two weeks ago i received a copy of your column on reconciliation from Tommy. Across the top he Handwritten i miss you. Please Call  that very eve Ning 1 called and we both cried. The following weekend he and his wife and their two kids came to see us. It was my birthday. That was the greatest gift 1 have eve received in my life. Thank you Ann Landers. Holmby Hills Calif. Dear Cal what a Day brightener Here s another one keep Reading. Dear Ann Landers thank you for printing the letter from one of your readers suggesting a reconciliation  it was one of the most heartwarming and constructive letters that you be Ever printed. Here is my Story to prove it. I sent a copy to my daughter and son in Law with whom i had a misunderstanding. We had t spoken Toone another for two years. She telephoned me the moment she received the column. We talked for a Long time and i fell wonderful. The following Day i was invited to their Home. I went and we had a Beautiful reunion. I held my Brand new grandson for the first time. What a thrill my daughter and her husband were just As eager to reconcile As i was but someone had to make the first move. When i read that letter in your column i decided to try one More time and it worked. My daughter is beginning to show an interest in other members of the family and 1 am optimistic about the future. We still have a Way to go but every visit seems to bring us closer together. I could t ask for More. As far As i am concerned reconciliation Day was a great idea. It made a big difference in my life and i thank you from the Bottom of my heart. A devoted Reader in Ohio dear devoted what an upper i could t be More pleased. Thanks for letting me know. I feel like a million after taxes. Page it letters women of military left Reader Cranky i was Cranky All Day after Reading your women of the military Section. Maybe it s my Job. I m sure the work is too hard for me. If i were a Man and had the upper body strength of a Gorilla. I m sure it would be much easier for me to push the ton of paperwork i Sec. Daily in the corps Mac Materiel management company. Or maybe it was just that old Devil pms premenstrual syndrome. Anyway. 1 was sure Cranky and i think it s because i m beginning to think things will never change. When i came into the fully integrated army in 1977, people weren t used to seeing women officers who weren t nurses. Male commanders expressed worry that female troops would miss More work de Mand special treatment become pregnant. In Short the army would be better off without  that was of. Though. They had t worked with women. I was going to Snow them they were wrong. I was going to work really hard be professional never ask for Spe Cial treatment and i would change their minds. Weil. I be put in almost 13 years now and what do i see 1 see a lot of attention paid to a sexist Book full of old stereotypes and distorted half truths written by an admittedly prejudiced former army Captain. I see an article on two Token women general officers which concludes with an examination of their marital status and makes the Point neither married because they were too career  when was the last time you read an article about Gen. Maxwell Thurman that concluded. And Max never married because he was so career oriented."? give me a break who cares i Sec an article in the stars and stripes after the death of Marine it. Col. William Higgins in which his wife maj. Robin Higgins was consistently quoted As mrs. Higgins instead of major. I suppose this All goes to show that a woman is nothing without a Hus band and her identity must come from being married i have seen women Given opportunities to be Pla Toon leaders company command cars executive offi cers staff officers battalion and Post commanders and they have been successful. So my question be comes what docs it take what do 1 we have to Doto convince you we arc Good enough Strong enough smart enough and committed enough to make it in this Man s army i guess i Haven t figured it out yet. Show consideration i sometimes wonder if people arc aware that others do not always share their own enthusiasm for their dog child music language behaviour Etc. As much a they themselves do. I have noticed people who bring their pets children music Etc. To Public places with Little apparent thought to controlling or modifying the possible Impact of their behaviour on others. One frequently observed example of this is when people play their portable tape players loudly and con stantly at Volks marches buses Parks and in the Woods with Little thought to their intrusions into the space of others. I also wonder if some people just Don t care or arc oblivious to the needs of others or just in a state of denial that they arc creating an intrusion. This thought was prompted during a recent camping trip in which a Large group took Over our camping spot drank and played loud music past Midnight while at the same time loudly complaining about similar be Havior disturbing their bus ride to the Camp. A Little awareness concern and consideration for others would make life a Little More pleasant for All of us. Name and location withheld it saddens me to think there will always be people like Brian Mitchell who will look at any successful military woman and assume she achieved her Success because of who and what she is a woman and a minority and never believe for a minute she achieved because she was competent and deserved it. It saddens me and it makes me tired. I m tired of blazing the Trail of carrying the Torch for women and i m tired of waiting always waiting to be accepted. Maj. Nancy Mcdonald Nellinger West Germany 1 would like to say something in favor of women inthe . Armed forces. On behalf those of us who actually work hard to achieve goals in today s military we arc tired of the stereotyping that has been going on for years. Jus because one or two women in 10 for Mcload this docs not mean that the rest of us arc the same. Most of us in the military work hard if not harder than the male soldiers to make rank receive awards and to earn the respect of her fellow soldiers. Most military personnel Are under the impression that no matter what the military occupational specially Mosa 6-foot male Soldier can achieve higher Stan Dards than a 5-foot female Soldier doing the same Job. In most cases this is a very wrong misconception. Granted male soldiers Are stronger than and tend to do the More physically demanding specialities Bette than a female Soldier. This is Only natural since men Are plainly stronger and tend to strive More in physically demanding areas. But to say that women Only hamper the military services and that men will always be Superior to women is wrong. A few years ago a Man i admired told me that there Are never any men or women in the military Only soldiers. I strongly believe in this statement. It s Lime to Stop being blinded by the few female soldiers in the military who believe that they can get off just because they Are women. Let the rest of us show you that this is no longer Only a Man s army and we can serve our country with As much Pride As you can. Name withheld Karlsruhe West Germany pen pals t am looking for pen pal from a Over the world can Wretta in  or French. I am 24 years old. Lahcen Eudria  Algeria i am looking Lor pen pals in the United kingdom or the Usa. I am 24 years of. Michelle Flynn 27 Bargery Road Ashmore Park Eit. Wednes Iteld wove Shapton West midlands England i would Tike pen pals from Art Over the work f am 19 years old and love a socialise. Christina noon 166 Boundary re St. Helens Merseyside wa102lp England i would like to have pen pals i am 16 years old and enjoy having a goo time. Jull Smith 47 crab . Helens. Merseyside England i am looking or pen pals from a Over the world t am 23 years and i enjoy singing bowing. And exchanging jokes with friends and pen pals Hoit mahal of Ramirez 2911 Paula verge St. Tambo. Parina Yuemei Oman Ria  i am 22 years old i enjoy bicycling walking Reading and sign seeing to Box 1253 Centra a Wash. 98531 european edition col Gene e. Townsend Usan command Edrow m chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie to Mingxi Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager. Managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication Lor members of the mib tary services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of Welense or the us. European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication. Including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. Everything advertised in this pub Calion Shau be made available for Purchase use. Or patronage without regard to race color religion sex Nanonie origin age. 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