European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 24, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Ann Landers letters dear Ann i am tired not just tired but Bone weary exhausted. I m the female of the 1980s, a profession Al woman with a Good husband and three wonderful children. I put in 40 hours a week Down town and just As Many at Home. When people like me Are written up in a women s Magazine or a newspaper article you d think we had the world by the Tail. Balo Ney. My Job As a supervisor is stressful. The demands one Are awesome. Everyone wants something. When 1 come Home i must prepare supper clean the House Wash clothes pick up the kids from the activity of the Day help them with Homework see that they Are bathed and put to bed. By then i am totally shot. My body says rest but my mind says i must get ready for tomorrow. Am 45 pounds overweight and every week i add another Pound or two. This is another area of my life that i can t seem to control. I know i should go on a diet but i Don t feel like tackling another big Job right now. My husband helps More than most husbands and the children Are our top priority. I truly wish 1 did t have to work but there s no Way we could make it if i stayed Home. I m not working so we can have a Mer cedes Benz a Pool or fancy vacations. I work so we can meet our House and car payments buy decent clothes and put food on the Able. We Are not extravagant people. Even though my husband and i Are both professionals we Don 1 make a great Deal of Money. If i quit work it would Cut our income in half. I miss not picking up my kids after school. I was depressed All summer because i could t stay at Home with them. Before i know it these children won t need me and i la have missed it All. My parents live across own. They Are retired and depend on me a lot. This is another heavy Burden. They were terrific parents. I feel guilty that i can t do More for them. My Point is this i m being pulled every which Way by people i feel responsible for. I know you will suggest counselling Ann but 1 live in a Rural area and the closest Counselor is 55 Miles away. With my work and family and limited income counselling in t possible. My pastor tells me i should Pray about  my doctor says other than occasional hypertension due to my weight and stress i m As healthy As a horse. So there you have it. Each Day is busier than the Day before. I feel As if i am sinking in Quicksand. I know 1 have a lot of company. More and More women Are juggling jobs and families. Are there any answers for us i d like to know what Ann Landers has to say. How in the world did you do it tired in Texas dear tired please Don t look at Mas an example of a woman who did  there were no sacrifices and no heroics involved. I was 37 Yean old when i started to write this column. I had never held a Job before and my daughter was in High school. I had plenty of household help and a supportive husband and there were no Money problems. I am Awe struck when i read How hard millions of women work at their jobs and then come Home to another full time Job. I Don t know How they manage. I m not at All sure 1 could do it. Let me Bear from you. How do you do it i la print the Best letters. Over-18 family members status explained recently there was an act of vandalism at the local High school. Among the Many rumours of who was responsible was one that blamed former students who had graduated from the school and who were still on Post. This led me to wonder what the Legal status is of Young people Over 18 who Are not enrolled full time in advanced schooling and who live with their parents Here in Europe. I know of several who either attended school in the United states then accompanied their parents Over Here and Are taking one course through Extension col Leges or who Are working at the club or for  people Are using the privileges of dependents such As health care the Exchange theater Etc. With All the concern expressed about dependent care costs this is a matter which i think should be addressed. Whose responsibility is it to see who is legally holding dependent status especially in regard to those Young people Over 18? once they Are Over Here there seems to be Little accountability. Name withheld Vaihinger West Germany editor s note Anne Matthews individual logistic support coordinator 1st personnel cored Headquarters Usa eur replies thank you for the Opportunity to answer questions regarding individual logistic support end eligibility dates for dependent children in Usa eur. Unmarried children of military or civilian sponsors do not lose dependent status until age 21 or if attending an institution of higher learning until age 23. In Usa eur a unique situation exists. Upon re quest All children of military Ovilun sponsors who were transported to the european come it government expense and who torn 21 during the sponsor s overseas tour Art granted member of Boas Ehold satins a Tel see 23 or the sponsor s Date of return from overseas de Rosy tour completion Date in effect on the child s 21stbirthday, whichever Date is earlier. Or 600-700, appendix of provides guidance on applying for member of Hooke hold status. For dependent children Between 21 and 23 Yean of age the local Mili tary or Villu personnel officer is the approving author Ity. When approved the oember of Hoose bom receive essentially the same privileges As the sponsor with the exception of free medical denial Ore and Legal assist Ance. The sponsor my apply to the commander 7th medical come for medical and dental care As an exception to policy on a reimbursable basis. Unmarried sons and daughter of military and civil Ian employees who reside with their sponsor May be employed under a family member appointment until they reach age 23. Even after reaching age 23, they May remain employed under the family member appointment until their sponsor either departs from the commuting area of his her Doty station or until completion of Ibe current overseas tour whichever occurs first the current Oversea tour is the tour under which the sponsor is serving at the time the unmarried child reaches age 23. Once employed the employee becomes eligible for an id card in his her own right not As dependent or member of the household. Caution urged on East Germany the winds of change arc upon us Speaks to the recent sequences of events which have taken place in East Germany. The winds of Joy can be traced in the tears of East and West germans alike at watching sections of the28-year-old monster referred to As the Wall come Down at being Able to Cross Over and Back feats heretofore possible Only in dreams. Blowing in simultaneously arc the winds of reunification for East and West of reforms of disarmament of world peace. The optimism is almost at Gale Force the Chance for significant change is upon us now with potential for Speed velocity and Impact in magnitudes never before thought possible. But there exists the aspect that weather patterns arc not always predictable and thus the winds of caution arc also to be reckoned with. Caution must be built into the forecast. Joy can reverse itself into sorrow and optimism can reverse itself into pessimism and it is because of the Chance for reversals that the winds of caution arc especially so important. The reality of recent events is Best summed up by some East German re settlers with whom i be spoken that is one docs not undo 40 Yean of lies overnight. Put another Way even with optimism at its utmost one docs not take infants one Day and put them behind the steering wheels of cars the next. What docs All of this mean for those who arc now bombarded with gusts from All sides Well it certainly Means be Happy and rejoice for life in Europe and especially the relationship Between West and East has improved. Be optimistic Kohl Gysi Bush and Gorbachev have the  not Only to carve a Niche for themselves in history but also to make the world a very different place if the mechanics of getting there can be hammered out. Similarly the United nations could Spring upon the peace which is breaking out All Over and perhaps make some important contributions for the future. Joy and optimism aside one is left with caution. And winds of caution in the world Are fuelled by differences in religion culture skin color language and in this particular Case political ideology. Caution wit regard to the present european and soviet sequence of events whirls in because several Hundred thousand so Viet troops arc still stationed in East Germany. Cau Tion wisps by from economics which have essentially stood still for the last 40 years. Caution s gusts Are based on the simple fact that it will take Lime to make significant changes and we no have a new pattern to study. It s important to remember that weather and the winds Are some forces Over which Man still has no direct control. At Best we loosely predict and our predictions arc not always right. Raymond f. Heath Ramstein a West Germany pen pals i. I d like to correspond with people 35 years of Tat and older. I Eroy cooking Long walks and music cd. Spencer 00x3526 aponewvork09130 i am 21-year-old num. I he to travel and i enjoy tha outdoor. I would Hka to correspond with people in the dietary. Amber ran Row 1501 Crittenden Road Wilmington. Del. 19005 i am a 32-year-old sergeant currently stationed m weal Germany. My hobbles Are sports. Uaje and travelling. Ken Haas . 10 sj4� Breu heu weal Germany european coition col enc e. Townsend Usan commander Ednor in Mcnel it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander Ednor in Mcnel Markko Mihick meat Proctor Ocane a Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper la an author Iod unofficial pub anon Lor members of the Meury services overseas. Contents of the stars and str teas Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this pump anon including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de lense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. 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