European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 15, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday december 15, 1990 the stars and stripes Page 11 eth j ? a a dear Ann Landers recently i Learned that my dad fathered a child by a single woman 10 years ago during his second marriage. His current wife had children by her first husband and the youngest child was legally adopted by my dad. My dilemma is this the woman does t know where my father is and she needs his address in order to sue him for child support. We met briefly and i was shown several photographs of the child As Well As the birth certificate. After our meeting i was convinced that she was completely honest with me and that my dad did indeed father her child. Although my relationship with my dad is not a close one we communicate periodically and get along fairly Well. I would never confront him since in a sure he would deny it and never speak to me again. Yet i find it difficult to turn my Back on the woman because i too am a single Mother raising a daughter without any child support or state Aid and i know How hard it is. I Hope you will give me some advice so that i can make the right decision. Just sign me Between Rock and hard place in Lake country dear Rock while a Small part of me says you owe your father loyalty a larger part of me says Justice needs to be served and you Are in a position to  it is. I say help the woman get what she is entitled to. If she has an ounce of integrity she will not betray you. If she a lying a blood test will exonerate your father. Dear Ann Landers Early last summer you ran a letter from a woman who wished her family would Stop nagging her to quit smoking. At first i was furious with her selfish indifference toward her family because i remembered How my father and l used to beg my Mother to quit smoking. It Hurt me to think that maybe mom Felt the same Way toward us. Then i Felt strangely comforted by your reply. It is so True Ann the Only person who can make an addicted person quit is the addict. There is not one thing anyone can do until he or she makes that decision. Feeling guilty because someone you love is killing him or herself is not Only useless but it will drive you crazy. My Mother died of emphysema last july fourth after suffering for six horrible years. She was 56.1 thank god that she is finally free of the pain but she left behind a family that mourns her daily and curses her life draining addiction. A y. A Yyi Yov a a by please keep telling your readers that if they drink to excess or smoke they should listen to their families their doctors and their own bodies. Keep begging them to quit before it kills them. Because my Mother  or  listen one is gone and my father and i must go on without her. I miss my mothers support her humor and a just her. My heart aches that my own son will never have the privilege of knowing his marvelous grandmother a a woman who could have added so much to his life. Her daughter Middleburg Fla. Dear daughter Well said. Thank you Gem of the Day some students drink at the Fountain of knowledge. Others merely  school teacher of 21 years Paducah by dear readers a. A. Y by v y. A a a y \ i drank at the Fountain of knowledge when i was in High school. It was in College that i garbled. A. A c creators Syndicate a a a a yer Al a a 4 j _ a Al amp a i a family s housing woes bring comments 1 am moved to write about the family of k because we have a family of nine and live in a four bedroom Home on the italian Economy. We too have a a a blended family Ages arc 6,10,10,11,11,12 and 12. I would be just tickled to accept what their housing office offered. My husband is an e-6 with 17 years and i consider myself a a Rich in Many ways but Here a our situation anyway. One of our bedrooms a a was a Kitchen it still has the sink cabinets and an old Wood bum ing stove. We have three sets of bunk Beds to help with the space problem. There Are two bathrooms Only one tub. The dining room is in our foyer. The heating system is so old and heating Oil is so expensive that we always heat water on the stove to Wash our dishes we have no dishwasher. We also buy and chop Wood to use in the Wood burning hot water Heater to heat our Bath water. Preparing and taking Baths is at least a three hour Job. Vve do supplement Home heating with a kerosene Heater. I think we do just Fine a considering All our Catholic Faith keeps us going. Love got the Mathie family this far love should be Able to help them Cope with what is available until the end of their tour. I think they Are very fortunate to have military housing available to them our base has none. Living in housing would also solve their Gas problem. We Are living 10 Miles from our base and Are entitled to Only 400 liners in Gas liners each month for our Van. I grew up in America too and miss that Way of life but this is Europe and a a things Are just different Here a its not Las vegas. A name withheld Avi Noab Italy y to me they done to have a problem but the one they Are making for themselves. In a a member of a family of nine we had a four bedroom House with a Bath and a half. The master bedroom went to the four girls. We put two big Beds in the room. My sister was 17 and i was 16. My Littler Sisters were 13 and 11. We had enough room. My three Brothers had one room. My Mother and father took one of the smaller rooms and we still had one bedroom left. By living on base they  have to spend All that Money on rent and Gas mrs. Mathie said it herself a everything is on the base. The children can ride the school bus and she can Stop spending so Many hours on the Road. Families that big should be together. A name withheld operation desert shield anyone wishing to write to the troops in saudi Arabia May do so at the following addresses ground any service member forces operation desert shield ���., Apo new York 09848-0006 ship any service member forces operation desert shield Fpo new York 09866-0006 letters sent through the european Apo system do not require postage simply write maps in place of the stamp and omit new York in the final line of the address. For 27 years my father was an no in the . Air Force. He raised nine children with a majority of this time spent living in military family housing. There were bases where we did get housing but using the Mathie family s standards it was inadequate. What 1 no trying to say is that we always managed to Tough it out and make do with what we  the housing situation and the weak Dollar the in tics should Feci Lucky to be in Germany together and have quarters offered to them. The military housing situation is far from perfect and the housing crunch in Europe seems to magnify the problem. There is no Way that housing can Cater to each person s desires tastes or even needs. Do they think that because of the size of their family they deserve special consideration i think not. A Lucy j. Zick Pitburg a Germany what was the Point of your article when i saw the head line 1 knew it was a sympathy Story and was ready to give my sympathy. 1 thought surely the air Force was doing nothing to help this family and the housing office would deserve the bad publicity the article would generate but then i read that the housing office offered them a four bedroom House with a maids room. So again task what was the Point of your article living conditions in Germany Arentt like the states. If you live in a Nice place off base it is expensive and government quarters at a old and Small. A Christine Davis Wiesbaden Germany .1 agree keeping a family together is very important but with the housing situation All Over Europe they should consider themselves Lucky that they were even offered base quarters their two oldest children will probably be graduating from High school in �?T91 and �?T92 and will move out to become adults. I realize that four bedrooms for a family of 10 is stretching the limits but it looks As though it will be for a Short amount of time. Surely they can put up with this minor inconvenience to get their family All together under one roof again. A Joy Bedford _ Raf Lakenheath England we have a family of nine including myself my husband seven children 19vi,72la, 12, Svi 8, 4 and 2 not to mention one Large jog and two Guinea pigs. We have been stationed at Hahn a for five years. We have lived in leased housing in a haunch that Long also. Our House has four bedrooms and a Large finished basement which is my oldest daughters bedroom. The basement is Large enough to be divided into two bedrooms also. Y since we came to Hahn in 1985, i have known of at least four other Large families who managed quite Well and never complained about the housing Here. I done to understand Why this particular family of gals they Are entitled to two housing units when there is such a shortage of housing in this area. As far As having to take extra Money out of the paycheck that Isnit covered by Viia variable housing allowance what about the airmen who have to live on the Economy and have to take a lot More out of their own pocket to cover their rent because of the declining Dollar i would never consider breaking up my family just to prove a Point to the air Force which to me is what it appears they Are trying to do. As far As in a concerned having a family is just that r slaying together and living As a family no matter what the circumstances. After All Isnit it for better or worse a Audrey Fitzhugh Hahn a German the stirs european edition. Circulation 190,000 Cal Gene e. Townsend Lisa a 1 commander editor in Chiel a. It. Col Gayle w. Fix Usa a a Deputy commander editor in chief. Marie Komlyn Ackt 60s Wicker Peaney. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas contents of the stars and stripes Are not Nec Ess Smy the official views of. Or endorsed by the . Government Trie department of defense or the . European command. ,. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of defense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. Everything advertised in this publication shall be made available for Purchase use or patronage without regard to race color religion sex. 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