European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 28, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Monday january 28, 1991 the stars and stripes a a a Page 9educationkids get the word on How to Cope by Chuck Roberts staff writer Derheim Germany Counselor Anne Monti has been teaching children to Cope with the sudden departure of their parents from the Home front to the w a front. A some yelled cried and were angry at the army for taking their parents away a said Monti describing third graders reaction to the christmastime news that the a 12th engr in had to ship out to saudi Arabia Monti seeks to teach students to express their feelings about the military operation or other problems instead of a hitting mom and acting it out physically a she said. This teaching technique called a stages a has its roots in Irvine Calif., where it was developed to help the children of migrant workers. The children often have difficulty in school because of their stressful nomadic lifestyle Monti said. Since its implementation in five elementary schools in Irvine in 1980, stages has spread to about 600 schools in some 25 states. Picking words to identify feelings did no to look easy to fifth graders in Joan Wrens class recently. During the exercise Monti read a Story about a Mother who yelled at her son to shut off the television and do his Homework. She then asked the youngsters How they would feel if they were in the place of that child. One fifth grader said he would have asked his mom a a what a up with you a a that a the wrong answer. Monti asked him to try again by filling in the Blank a i feel. A the students new and improved response was a i feel nervous because you talked so  a a it Sok to be angry a Monti told the class. A a it a a self defense if you keep it bottled up inside its not Good for  the important thing is to recognize the anger and be Able to describe it Monti said she began using the teaching technique with children of migrant workers in Livingston Calif. As she taught them to associate words with feelings she saw their academic scores improve. A they could get their Points across without lashing out a a Monti said. And she is witnessing the same Success with her elementary students in Derheim and at Haine Berg elementary school in Wiesbaden. Parents have told Monti that their children Are less aggressive now. One girl even asked if she could bring her Mother to class because a she needs  along with teaching children what to say when feeling stressed she teaches them what to do. Taking deep breaths for example can relax a nervous child who is failing on a test. Some of Montis older students lie on the floor and use imagery to place themselves in a Calm and relaxing a amps Gus Schuttlor Counselor Anne Monti teaches youngsters at Derheim elementary in Germany How to Den with stress. Place when their stress Levels hit condition red. But Monti said she discourages their lying on the floor during test time. Also key to winning the stress Battle is knowing where to turn Monti said. In one exercise students arc asked to write lists of where they can go for help such As to a Friend a Church a teacher or even their favorite stuffed animal. These techniques also Are helpful in dealing with changes such As divorce remarriage or the death of a Parent. But the most stressful problem faced by military children is moving and leaving friends Monti said. Part of their problem in dealing with these changes is that children usually Are told Only half of what is going on causing their imaginations to take care of the other half. One student with a father in saudi Arabia found a Booklet for soldiers describing life in the persian Gulf. A to him it was like a horror Story a Monti said. A they can focus on doomsday  parents often Are too Busy to sit Down with their children and explain what is going on Monti said. Children Are adept at hiding their feelings thanks to remarks from parents such As a a you re a big boy now and you can handle  it is important for children to learn How to Deal with change because today a society keeps demanding More from people. A self esteem and dealing with stress Are two common things today a Monti said. A if you can manage yourself then you Are More productive. It All goes hand in  of War also striking Dodds pupils by Jimi Jones and Peggy Davidson staff writers the persian Gulf War is taking its toll on children who attend military schools overseas. A they Are feeling the same pressure and anxiety As parents a said Anne Monti who splits counselling time Between Haine Berg elementary school in Wiesbaden and Derheim elementary school. A the kids Are a lot More anxious and have a lot of trouble attending to school work. Some Are melancholy who weren to before a she said. Or. It. Col h. Frank Edwards said children stressed out by the War May have trouble sleeping develop bad dreams experience falling grades or get headaches and stomachaches. Edwards the chief of psychological services at Lan Stuhl army regional medical Center said the threat that troops face in saudi Arabia should be made realistic for children. A the villain attitude we be got is certainly of a he said a but not this omnipotent All powerful villain Saddam Hussein. We talk about How he a got a zillion tanks. Kids see those things and take them  such worries Are the cause of stress related problems in children he said. At Span Dahlem elementary school Counselor Lovely Thornton also has seen the signs of stress. A they needed More time to process their feelings a Thornton said. A they really Are having a hard time dealing with the reality of War. This is especially True for the children whose dads Fly she said. Most of the children a parents Are members of the bases 52nd tac fighter Wing which is bombing Iraq and Kuwait. But they talk about ground War too because children of army air defense artillery units at Span Dahlem attend the school Thornton said. The children a conversations once entered on missing their parents and changes in their Homes she said. But now they focus on a life and death. Whether or not dad is going to come Home at  and although they express Pride in what their parents Are doing they would rather have their fathers retire or leave military service. Since War erupted they have become very protective Thornton said. A they take even More ownership in the group. They Are very supportive of each other and of me a she said. A now that my husband is gone we re All in the same  her husband a chaplain left for saudi Apt Arabia just before christinas. Counselor and teachers continue to seek ways to keep Young minds focused on challenges of tomorrow in Light of the stress. At Span Dahlem elementary for example weekly counselling sessions for children with a Parent in saudi Arabia were extended to twice a week Thornton said. Stress management classes Are offered at Many schools and in communities and some schools have peer counselling groups in which students talk to concerned Peers. Chaplains too Are available. A program at Haine Berg called secret pals has received great response Monti said. In it teachers identify children with problems. Educators then take up to four names and do Small things like Send an Anonymous card or have the child find a a i Lave a Nice Day note on his or her desks amps. Lynda Davidson or. It. Col h. Frank Edwards a to let the child know someone cares a Monti said. And Gen. . Arnold High school students take personal satisfaction in helping elementary school pupils with their Homework Monti said. The department of defense dependents schools As a whole also is stepping up efforts. Plans have been made to contract 16 . Experts in psychological counselling or social work who have worked with victims of catastrophic events. Each of Germany a eight school districts will have two of the specialists. Officials could not give specific dates for school visits but spokesman Frank of Gara said four of the 16 will be in Germany on Friday for a planning meeting. Of Gara said the group will work closely with military communities so that efforts will not be duplicated. Edwards said one of the Best ways that left behind family members can avoid stress a or at least Lessen it a is to avoid watching television. A a to gives so much speculation a he said a kids done to understand developing  Edwards suggested that parents turn off the television and let their children get information from newspapers. A the paper does no to watch it build minute by minute a which increases stress in some people he  Best antidote for too. Much stress is love and caring he said. A children especially Are very astute at picking up unconscious feelings from parents Quot Edwards said. A the less stress a Parent shows the less stress kids