European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 21, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse I i 2 Vann Landers dear readers i am on vacation but i have left behind some of my favorite columns that you May have missed the first time around. I Hope you enjoy them. Ann Landers dear Ann Landers that letter from the Gal whose Sisters aunts and cousins descended on her mothers House like a pack of vultures and picked the place clean hit very close to Home. The writer signed herself a a can to stand Well i Hope your advice to a make a will was heeded by All those Nice people out there who just assume their belongings will go to the people they want to have them. When my husbands Darling Mother died his sister arrived first. She was grief stricken a for about 15 minutes. Then she pulled herself together and went through the House like a Streak of lightning. When i walked into the bedroom to use the phone i saw drawers open and boxes strewn everywhere. The place looked As if it had been burglarized. I believe it. When a a Sis left she had All the jewelry Silver and every piece of Art Worth owning. She also had her name taped on the Best pieces of furniture. A a in la Send you some of mothers Nice things a Sis promised As she left. After the funeral i received a dozen plastic hangers a Jar of Cotton balls some old clothes and a Moth eaten fur piece. My husband adored his Mother and so did our children. They done to have one thing Worth keeping. Of course she never had a will a and she would turn Over in her grave if she knew what has happened. Heartsick in Boston dear heartsick your letter says it far better than i could but ill make dear Abby editors note Abby is on a two week vacation. Following is a selection of some of her favorite past letters dear Abby. I am a 55-year-old woman with a problem in be never seen in your column. I have been Goi Ralg with this Man for six years. He is 43 and says he can to marry me because he promised his mama before she died three years ago that he get married until his daddy got married As she did no to want his daddy to be left All alone. His daddy Hasni to got anybody to marry and he Isnit even looking. Abby i am no Spring Chicken and i need to know How i can get this Man either to let me quit him or marry me. No Spring Chicken in Ada okla. Dear no Only a dumb Cluck would Coop herself up waiting for her boyfriends daddy to marry. Get another rooster on the roster. Dear Abby i have been living with Don for two years. I am 22 and he is 25.wednesday, August 21, 1991 another attempt. Make a will. It s the Only Way to be sure your Money and personal belongings will go to those you want to have them. Otherwise Quot the grabbers Quot will move in fast. Also the attorney in charge of the estate should make certain nothing is removed from the House of the deceased until the will has been read. Dear Ann Landers my Mother in Law for the third time this year is coming to visit for two weeks. I could put up with her if she d just be a guest. But the minute she arrives she begins to clean the House rearrange the furniture and make suggestions on How to improve the place. A your Kitchen needs new curtains. The bathroom could use a coat of every sentence starts with a Why Don t you a now she has started to interfere with the Way 1 feed and dress our child. A the s not getting enough roughage. He needs vitamins. His room is too hot. His play clothes Are i find myself getting nervous before each visit. By the time she leaves i m on Tranquili Zers and my husband and i Arentt speaking. He says a a she a just trying to get the picture sign me berserk dear a one thing is certain a you will never change your. Mother in Law but you can change a few other things. First the frequency of her visits. Ask your doctor to inform your husband that his mothers visits Are too taxing and should be Cut to twice a year. Second when your Mother in Law makes suggestions smile and say a a you re probably right. Ill think about then develop amnesia. Third if she wants to clean your House and rearrange the furniture a let her. Maybe Shell get a hernia. C creators Syndicate inc. I hear women at the office talking about bringing covered dishes to family gatherings going to his folks or hers for dinner or for the weekend or the holidays and i get More heartsick every Day. I have begun to realize what marriage is All about. Its really belonging to someone who loves you enough to want to make you a member of his family. Don is always telling me what a wonderful arrangement we have and How much he loves me. The past several months in be been asking myself a if it s so wonderful and he loves me so much Why do we lie sneak around and let people assume we Are married a Why does no the ask me to marry him and become a member of his family they done to even know i exist. Heartsick dear heartsick because he does no to want a Legal commitment. And if he is Able to get All the benefits of marriage with none of the responsibilities who can blame him i am assuming he did no to Kidnap you. You agreed to live with him without marriage. You walked into it of your own free will and you re free to walk out. Why done to you i think you re ready. C Universal press Syndicate the stars and Stripe today s crossword Page 19 across 1 fall behind 4 court Barrier 7 Robin. 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