European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 03, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 a the stars and stripes monday february 3,1992 dear Abby dear Abby i am a 27-Vear-Oid single woman living in a fairly Small town. In be worked with a married Man for five years and i would say we Are Good friends. Recently he suggested that we meet in another town have a few drinks and get a hotel room. I was offended walked away and dear Abby 1 recently read a letter in your column from the woman who went on vacation and while she was gone her elderly Mother passed away. She was tormenting herself with guilt because she Wasny to at her mothers bedside nor could she attend the funeral. Several years ago a Friend of mine an elderly lady gave me this bit of poetry which i think is most appropriate today s crossword refused to speak to him for three weeks. He a 42 and has three children. I started talking to him again and he Hasni to harassed me in any Way. He a Well respected in the Community and in be told no one about his suggestion. I really like him a lot but 1 would never forgive myself if 1 were to become sexually involved with a married Man. If he had just suggested the drinks and not the hotel room i might have accepted. I would like to know him better and there Are not Many opportunities to talk at work. Is it of for us to become closer platonic friends i done to want to Hurt his marriage or his reputation but id like to know him better intellectually but not physically. I could learn a lot from him. We have not discussed his suggestion since i turned him Down. Should i bring it up and make my feelings Clear to him Arkansas lady dear lady this Man is not interested in Friendship All he wants to a few hours of sex in a hotel room. Done to worry about hurting his reputation a just take care of your own. Done to meet him alone anywhere under any circumstances. There is no Way you can have an intimate non sexual relationship with this Man. Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i am furious with . In Arkansas who complained because her Mother who lives several thousand Miles away kept her on the phone for 20 minutes describing her aches and pains. She whined �?o1 wish i could help her but there is nothing i can Well i have a suggestion you can do a lot by showing a Little compassion. Ill bet in years gone by her Mother listened to her plenty. . Signed off with a prayer you thought was whereas your head j.a., Pearl River la. Dear Pearl i got plenty of flak for that one and am rethinking the whole thing. Forty thousand readers can to be wrong. Read on. From Redmond Wash what a sorry selfish daughter to have written that prayer glorifying mothers who go through life without a single complaint no matter How Rotten they feel. Does no to . Realize that this creates unrealistic expectations of the old age that she herself will some Day experience and it always happens sooner than you think. . / would rather have a Little Rose from the Garden of a Friend than have the choicest Flowers when my stay on Earth shall end. I would rather have the kindest words and a smile that i can see than flattery when my heart is still and this life ceased to be. I would rather have a Loving smile from the friends i know arc True than tears shed around my casket when the world i bid Adieu. Abby what one does for the living counts so much lore than what is offered after they Are gone. I Hope this gives someone who is feeling guilty a sense of peace to know that they did All they could for a loved one while they were still on this Earth to enjoy it. Connie Fisher Echo Ore. Confidential to a no name please in Memphis you do not have to Tell him its none of his business. Is he a Virgin c Universal pros Syndicate Lansing Mich dear lord woman since when is it acceptable to Tell people Only the Good stuff and Swallow the rest especially when we Are talking to our children whom we raised whose tears we dried and whose bruises we bandaged. Give your Mother a break and let her Tell you How she really feels instead of pretending that life is always perfect. Allentown a leaving your grandchildren the legacy of never having a single ache or pain would be a lie. No one gets off that easily. Would not the legacy of gods love and compassion in helping us Bear each others burdens be More uplifting and closer to the truth a . Baton Rouge la Why Arentt older people allowed to talk about their problems Are Only the Young Worth listening to i am 21 and would love to hear anything my grandparents have to say. I believe it when you praised that woman sprayer. Please print my name. I done to want them Ever to suffer in silence. Amy Moran to All those who wrote thank you for some wonderfully uplifting letters. Today is a a Mother a Day three months Early c creators Syndicate inc. Across 1 theater signs 5 showy Flower Colloq. 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