European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 25, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Saturday april 25, 1992 the stars and stripes Page 19 Ann Landers dear readers the following appeared in the Mayo clinic health letter. It is an extremely thought fill questionnaire that could prevent a great Deal of grief in families most older people prefer to live independently in their own Homes. But what if you can to care for your _ self yet you re not ill enough to be in a nursing Home occasionally people opt for moving in with their adult children. Here arc some questions to consider 1. Do you really want to live with your son or daughter do they want you to live with them 2. Can your family afford to have you live with them 3. How easily can you adapt to your family a lifestyle and they to yours 4. Will you feel like a visitor in their Home 5. What Are the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship with your children comfortable compromising emotionally strained 6. Can you continue to pursue hobbies you enjoy 7. Can you keep in touch with your friends 8. How much time do you expect your family to spend with you if you Are Home alone during the Day will you feel bored isolated or depressed 9. Will you have your own room How much personal space do you need 10. Can you bring along a favorite chair Are there stairs to climb 11. Can you keep your car and Drivers License Are you willing or Able to ride a bus do you have to depend on your family for transportation needs today s crossword dear Abby dear Abby seven years ago i met we dated a Little and became very Good friends. Later i had a Brief but very intense affair with Sean a Roommate it took a Long time to get Over it when Jack and i broke up and through it All Sean remained a Good Friend to me. I went through a period of depression and kind of Odd behaviour and during that time i told Sean a terrible lie that i had been pregnant with jacks child and had gotten an abortion. I also told him that i had never told Jack about it. I done to know what i hoped to accomplish by telling him that but it was pure fabrication. It was a very confusing time in my life. Years have passed Sean and i Are still friends. We Are both married to wonderful people. As far As i know Sean has never said anything to anyone about this Story. I done to know How Sean and his wife feel about abortion but now i wish i had never said such a stupid complicate matters Sean and his wife recently suffered a miscarriage and in a afraid this could change their feelings about me. I love Sean and his wife and i done to want to lose their Trust but i also done to want them to continue to believe this lie about me. After i told Sean that Story he never mentioned it again. So am i better off leaving it in the past or at 12. Can you help with the cooking and cleaning do you want to will your family let you 13. Will you need help with your personal care if you will can your family accommodate your needs 14. Can you help with household expenses 15. If you can to manage your own financial affairs who Wilt assume this responsibility if you or your children have reservations about living together consider a trial period. Dear Ann Landers my husband and i have two daughters a the older one is Well off financially and the other is divorced with a Little boy. We Are constantly having to help out our younger daughter and her son. Although she is working it takes All she can make to support herself and her child. When she has car repairs medical Bills or any extra expenses we must pitch in with extra Money. This is making us feel guilty because we be always heard that parents should not show partiality. Our older daughter does no to seem to mind but she sees what we Are doing for her sister. We fear it is natural for her to feel some resentment and not think its fair but we done to know what to do about it. Do you have any suggestions for keeping the peace and making it fair for both our children. Feeling guilty in Texas dear Texas surely your Well off daughter realizes that her sister needs the help and she does no to. I suggest that you buy her a Lovely gift occasionally or give her a family heirloom that she will treasure. That should do it. C creators Syndicate tempting to fix this mess if you print this please done to use my name or City in a bind in Montana dear in it is possible that scan kept your Confidence and never mentioned your fabricated Story to his wife. Regardless if they have remained your friends All this time your misfortune did not diminish you in their esteem. I done to blame you for feeling guilty for having tried to strike out at Jack with that lie. But in View of the fact that Sean and his wife have just lost a child it would be poor judgment to try to set the record straight at this time. It could be painful for them. Dear Abby in response to the Albuquerque . Twenty five years ago while sitting in my Church a doctor gently tapped my Mother on her shoulder. He stated he thought she should have the spot on my Sisters Arm looked at by our family physician. It turned out to be Melanoma this Story has a bittersweet ending because my sister died at the age of 39. She was 18 at the time of diagnosis but lived a wonderful life having gotten married and borne six children had this truly caring physician not mentioned his fears my sister would not have lived her dreams. 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