European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 29, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 the stars and stripes tuesday december 29, 1992 husband probably having an affair dear Ann Landers my husband of 10 years recently said he is not sure that he loves me any More and claims he has been unhappy for a Long time. This comes after three children in six years. In the past few months a a Walter has been working 13-hour Days and he talks endlessly about How fabulous his assistant is. He takes her on All his business trips and cats lunch with her every Day. They attend after hours work functions together. I caught Walter lying a few times recently about his after hours whereabouts but he claims he has to lie because i get upset when he mentions the woman a name. When 1 question him about what is going on he gets a guilty look on his face _ which is a dead Giveaway. I just Learned that the woman is in an unhappy marriage which makes me feel More threatened than Ever. Walter refuses to Stop having lunch with her or taking her on business trips. His philosophy is that these Are the �?T90s and men and women should be Able to have a working relationship without raised eyebrows from spouses colleagues or anyone else. We fight about this constantly and he will not Budge. Am i crazy narrow minded old fashioned or just a nutty nag miserable in Maine dear Maine it sounds very much As if Walter is having an affair with his a a fabulous assistant. If you did no to have three Small children id Tell you to toss him out on his car but those Little ones must be your top priority. Ann Landers Tell Walter you Are miserable and want joint counselling. If he refuses to go go without him. Hang tight and done tissue any ultimatums. Be smart and Lay off this subject totally. Plan a Little social time together perhaps with another couple. Make Home a pleasant place to be instead of a Battleground. Easy no. But its Worth the Effort. Good Luck. Dear Ann Landers. In be been driving since i was 16 and have two close friends who do not drive. We Are All in our mid-20s. We three go out often and i always pick them up and drive them Home. Lately 1 get the feeling i am being used by one Friend in particular a Lola a and i resent it. Sometimes Lola asks me to Stop so she can do an errand. Often its out of the Way. Not once has she offered to pay for Gas or the toll charges treated me to a dinner or Given me some Small gift. This never bothered me until a few family members said a Lola is certainly using do you think i am being Petty about this in a not sure How to handle this situation. We All have Good jobs so Money is not the Issue. I m not sure what to do because we have been friends for so Long but the anger is building inside me and its hurting our Friendship. R _ new York dear . When this letter appears in print hand the column to Lola and ask if she recognizes anyone she knows. If she says a no a give her a Mirror. If after this incident she does no to do something to make matters right accept the fact that Lola is a user and does no to deserve your Friendship. Letters to Ann Landers should he addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate anniversary celebrants help needy dear Abby this letter is Long overdue. George and i celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary last april and we used a suggestion we read in your column. We had a Lovely party at the Chicago corinthian 1 yacht club and our invitation Raij a your love and Friendship is of Fly the Only gift we need. However of if Vuu wish to brins something t3t please make it an item of non perishable food that will be do Natch to the Abby it worked we had a heavy Carload to deliver. The people at the pantry were dear Abby amazed at the Quantity of food we brought in. We thank you for publishing that suggestion and Hope you will continue your wonderful column for a Long time. Jane Leonard Skokie ill. Dear Jane in a pleased that you used my idea for your 50th wedding anniversary Celebration. May you and George enjoy Many More anniversaries. When All is said and done All we really have in the end is the pleasure we receive from that which we give away. Dear Abby the first thing 1 look for in my newspaper is the obituary column. When the cause of death is listed As cancer i always wonder if the deceased had been a heavy smoker. I wish that very important fact would be included in the write up. Am i the Only person who wishes it were Long islander dear Long islander in a sure you re not. But unless the deceased had requested that it be included in his or her obituary which is highly unlikely that a very important fact will remain a mystery. Loners Lor this column should to addressed to Omar Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris Iii. 61054. 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