European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 5, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 the stars and stripes tuesday january 5,1993 dear Ann Landers husbands parents Haven to spoken to for almost a year because they blame for what they consider a major breach of etiquette i say it was a simple oversight. Here a what happened when our daughter was married i had no part in planning the rehearsal dinner since that was the responsibility of the Groom s family. Three Days before the wedding we received a phone Call from a relative informing us that husbands parents were deeply offended because they had not been invited to the. Rehearsal dinner husband and i were shocked to hear this since we had no idea who was invited and who Wasny to. When husband called to a a smooth things Over Mother in Law blamed for excluding them. Ann although i have not always seen Eye to Eye with in Laws if i had been doing the inviting i would never have excluded them from such an important occasion. I might add that own Mother was not invited either. Ann Landers daughters wedding planner states in Plain language that Only the bridal party their partners imme Diate family out of town guests and the minister should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Please let us know if we made a mistake by not insisting the grandparents be included. Waiting for the verdict a in Dublin Calif. Dear Dublin. The verdict is guilty on All counts the grandparents All of them. Including your Mother should have been invited to the rehearsal dinner if the Groom s parents whose responsibility it was to include them did t have the Grace to do so you should have intervened on their behalf. A a there s a lot of Fence mending to be done and the sooner the better. P s. All copies of your daughter s a wedding planner Quot should go into the shredder before it wrecks More family relationships. Letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Cetih Cage Iii. 60611-0562. T a a creators Syndicate horses seek safety in burning barn dear Abby in a recent column you implied that Hofses lacked horse sense a then cited the fact that horses have been known to run into a burning barn. As a horse breeder i thought you might like to know what prompts this seemingly bizarre behaviour especially since the instinct to survive should Tell the horse to flee. The horse that runs into a burning Bam does so because he has come to know that in Nis stall a in that barn a he is Safe. Betty m., California cowgirl dear Betty 1 wonder How Long a living warm blooded creature should stay in a place that s on fire if a horse does not flee from that suicidal environment How intelligent can u be dear Abby in the York daily record in York pa., you recently perpetuated a common error regarding a woman a Maiden name. You said a Many professional women have retained their Maiden names after Abby a woman does not have a Maiden name until she takes a married name. What she has is a surname. Quot Maiden refers to a former name that was Given up in favor of her husband s name. Women who retain their own names or their surnames after marriage do not have a Maiden name. This May sound Picky to some but for women and quibble dear Abby their husbands who choose this option the term Quot Maiden name is offensive it implies that a woman should take her husbands Nanie and those who do not Are what she has chosen to do was to keep her own name. The Rev. Robert l. Anderson York a. Dear Rev. Anderson sorry a no Mea culpa from . Webster s ninth new collegiate defines Maiden name As Quot the surname of a woman before she married.�?�. Dear Abby husband and i recently attended a very expensive posh wedding. Everything was first class All the Way. Those who attended it said they had never seen anything to equal there was one flaw we never did meet the Bride or Groom. There was no receiving line and the Bride and Groom did not circulate to Chat with the guests As is customary at most weddings. We were terribly disappointed but we did no to feel it was our place to go around and introduce ourselves. What do you make of this Abby Hurt in Boston dear Hurt the wedding May have been Quot posh and very expensive but somebody dropped the Ball. Since there was no receiving line it would have been entirely proper for you to have introduced yourselves to the bridal couple. Utters Tor ins column should to addressed to dear Abby at . Boh 447, mount Morris 61054 c Universal press Syndicate. 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