European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 17, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Ann Landers dear Ann Landers a a Phil and 1 have Een married for More than a year and in a having serious problems dealing with his parents _ especially Bis father. A a Horace needs to know All our financial business a from what we spend on movies to what our vacation Cost us. Phil tells him everything because he does no to want to risk his anger. I am at my with Send trying to convince my husband that it is none of his fathers business. Phil claims that by not answering his fathers questions and keeping a a secrets from him he is not being a Good son. I maintain that we have a right to privacy. I see stars every time Horace asks a How much did that set you Back a what is even More infuriating is that when Phil tells him Nis father belittles him and says a it was a Quot bad Deal. You paid too  i done to know How to Cope with this Ann. We be had some major fights and i need an ally. Will you help Manhattan dilemma dear dilemma Quot its your husband who needs the help. Phil will probably need professional counselling in order to free himself of his fathers domination. There is no reason for Horace to be informed about your financial business. When Phil reaches the Point where he can say a dad that a personal a he will be on his Way to achieving manhood. Dear Ann Landers the letter you printed from the Young girl who married at 17 sounds like me. In fact my friends thought i had written it a i too married at 17. A week later my husband said he was going to the store for a loaf of bread and he was gone for two weeks. Maw s meddling after i gave him a second Chance he had an affair with a 17-Ycar-old girl he worked with in the supermarket. They were on the Day shift and i worked nights. How convenient. While i was at work she came Over and slept in my bed with my husband wore my makeup my Robe and my bedroom slippers. I finally threw him out got Public assistance went Back to school graduated and now have a terrific Job in a Law office. I also have a great Boyfriend. I never had any help from my parents because Thuv a told me  t made it on my own. Please Ann Tell your Young readers listen to your parents. They Are really on your Side. Done to waste 10 years of your life like i did because i was so stubborn. A survivor in Springfield dear survivor thanks for being so honest. Are you listening students dear Ann Landers please Tell me what is proper regarding the funeral of ones sex father in Law. I feel that a card or Flowers should be sent and perhaps a Brief sympathy visit would be of. As the new daughter in Law 1 was very uncomfortable when my husbands former wife took charge of the proceedings As if she were still a member of the family. Will you please comment uneasy in Michigan dear uneasy a great Deal depends on How Long the woman was married to your husband. Did they have children did she stay close to her in Laws did she remain Friendly with other members of his family also to be considered How a a new a wife arc you How Well did you know your husbands father what is. Your relationship to the other family members in order to give you an intelligent answer i would need More information. But 1 think you get the Drift. Letters to ant Landers should be addressed to her at . To 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562, c creators Syndicate today a crossword make the Effort to meet birth Mother dear Abby i was 61 when 1 Learned that i had been adopted As an infant by a couple who gave me a wonderful Home. When i contacted my birth Mother who was 86 at the time her first response was Quot i am not the person you Are looking for a her family had never known that she had Given up a baby for adoption. 1 had been taken from her As an infant because she was unmarried and in those Days her parents would not have allowed her to bring her baby to their Home because it would have Quot besmirched the. Family  shortly after she was contacted she said she wanted to see me. That first meeting was traumatic for both of dear Abby. In us. You see i was born on Ner birthday a so yes she thought of me often. The end result is that i consider myself a very fortunate person and this very dear birth Mother has taken nothing away from my Loving adopted family. My advice to a just another adopted kid Quot is to make an Effort to locate your birth family. Consult a lawyer and be prepared for a Long search and also be prepared to find out that the birth family May not be All that you had hoped for. And to All those birth mothers who have decided that they want no Contact please reconsider. You were wonderful to have made the decision to give us a better life than you could provide at the time. Now please give us the rest of the Story. Betty Bergstrom Portland Ore. Loners Lor this column should to addressed 1o Doar Abby at . To 447, mount morrl9. Iii. 61054. C Universal press Syndicate across 1 Hasty escape 4 hair Cream dosage 7 pita . 121 a lineman. I30vren-thusiastic 14 red cent 13 Glutton 16 Elizabeth  s Nom de plume 16 past 19 truth held to be self evident 20 move rapidly 22 Conger for one 23ex-Frosh 27 wife of Saturn 26 free 31 colourless 34 Omaha Lions 35 the continent 37 Sapporo Sash 36 tolerate 30 Weir 41 Nap 43 ran the Stopwatch 47 Indi spans Able 46 Iron John author 32 one of Rush More a four 53 Teddy Roosevelt a daughter1 54 Grant s foe 33 country club employee 36 forget a 57 Airport abbr. St actor Bannen Down 1 Bolivia a. Capital 2 Chihuahua chum 3 Backus. 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Yesterdays crypt pulp publication for bodybuilders and fitness enthusiasts the Bench press. Today s crypt pulp clue r equals c quibble