European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 29, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                I a childless workers say co workers with kids Are Given special consideration. They want the same scheduling flexibility to pursue personal interests. Not childless workers tired of carrying Load by Dottie Enrico news Day y any corporate standards Ginger Griffin was a Good sport and a team player. Griffin 40, and her husband decided Early in their marriage that they did t want children. But she gladly covered for co workers when they wanted to leave work Early to catch Little league games and she was the first person Bosses turned to when colleagues went on maternity leave and their workload had to be redistributed. But when the 40-year-old Book editor asked for a scheduling break to Complete a Volunteer project for an environmental group she received Little support from the same co workers she had voluntarily helped out of family jams. I Felt my personal ideals and goals weren t respected she said. I m very concerned about the environment and about die world s future. I May not be raising a child but i m helping to contribute something to the world that these children will grow up  Griffin and a growing number of childless professionals say that with the increased emphasis on family needs in Many companies the personal needs of childless employees Are often dismissed by Bosses and co workers who have children. Some childless workers claim that pressure from working parents is creating a two tier work Force where workers with children Are being Given More personal options and scheduling flexibility than those without. But management consultants and other experts say strained relations Between colleagues is Only a by product saturday january 29, 1994 of bigger company problems things like budget cuts and increased pressure to get More work done with fewer employees. I think Many companies want to avoid having to play Solomon and there is no easy Way to satisfy All workers says Charles Rodgers president of Rodgers & associates the research  of the Boston based consulting service work family directions. The answer lies in focusing on results and new ways to evaluate employees he says. What is aggravating is this new  Natal push that you re seeing in everything from politics to advertising m any who choose Mohave children make raising their children a first priority. Wner Ethey make their mistake is assuming i should be everyone else s priority too Leslie Tafa Yetto founder of chif Frea network says Leslie Lafayette founder of the California based advocacy group child free network. This country promotes the message that having and raising children is the most important thing anyone can do in life. In the workplace Many who choose to have children make raising their children a first priority. Where they make their mistake is assuming it should be everyone else s priority  Jill for instance is one of two childless workers in a 10-person account group at a Large new York City and Agency. Both asked for Christmas week off to visit parents who live in other regions of the country and both were denied the time. They were told Jill says that people with families get first  other eight people in the group spent the Holiday week with their children. Jill and her co worker got together on Christmas Day for a movie and spoke to their parents by Telephone. Working parents say such cases Are extreme and that reports of companies and colleagues being too family Friendly Are exaggerated. Many say they Are the ones getting the Short end of the stick. Work family issues May be getting More attention these Days in the press and in companies but the number of companies that Are actually extending benefits to working families is still Small says Betty Holcomb an editor at working Mother Magazine. Childless people acknowledge that their careers often Advance faster because they work extra hours but what is changing is that More workers including those without children say they Are putting a higher priority on free time. Company downsizing and requiring More work of fewer employees is putting additional pressure on All workers and the childless say they re always the ones elected to work nights and weekends. The Issue in t about whether or not childless workers Are taken seriously at work says one childless woman who works for an insurance company. Maybe we re taken too seriously. I want a life too and i m willing to give up the Money and status for the  on the family q our family has always been very close. Since the children were Small we be enjoyed doing things together but lately i be seen a change in our 13-year-old son. I get the feeling he d rather spend time with anyone but us. He actually seemed embarrassed to be seen with us at a restaurant last week and he declined an invitation from his father to go fishing on saturday Are we wrong to feel Hurt by this your feelings Are understandable but so Are the changes you re observing in your son. He s in the throes of a process that can be painful for both of you at times growing up. At 13, he s moving rapidly into adolescence and you need to be aware of what that Means. It s natural that his interest in his Peers and the world outside should be growing. The Center of his social life is slowly shifting away from the family and he s beginning to Branch out and become his own person. He senses though he May not put it into words that the old Parent baby relationship is no longer appropriate and it in there lies one of the Unsung Pitfalls of conscientious parenting. From the moment their Newborn arrives caring parents devote themselves to the nurture of their bundle of Joy. They walk the floor with Haggard faces and warm bottles at 2 . They read and reread the same two or three books to Jelly faced toddlers. They take time away from business housework or personal pleasure and sink it into soccer games camping trips Days at the Beach and visits to museums with rambunctious youngsters. And just when they feel ready to begin reaping some returns on All this expenditure of time and Energy their assets turn around and walk away from them. No other investment works that Way. No wonder it hurts. But i think you d do Welt to accept this healthy aspect of your son s development without being defensive. I d even encourage it with limits of course. Times of family togetherness still have their place and you re right to stress their importance. Do you think a child should be required to say please and thank you around the House i sure do. Requiring these phrases is one method of reminding the child that this is not a Gimmie Gimmie world. Even though his Mother is cooking for him and buying for him and giving to him he must assume a few attitudinal responsibilities in return. Appreciation must be taught and this instructional process begins with fundamental politeness at Home. Or. James c. Dobson is president of focus on the family an organization dedicated to preserving the Home. Correspondence should to ent to him at focus on the family . Box 444, Colorado Springs Colo. 80903. The stars and stripes 15