European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 3, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 the stars and stripes monday october.3,1994 dad s affair puts family i n fix Ann Landers dear Ann Landers in a a 34-year-old professional. About 15 years ago 1 Tarn Elhat my father was having an extramarital affair. I chose to keep this to myself rather than allow it to Hurt my Mother and younger sister. \. A a i thought i had made the right decision because my parents have stayed together. Last week however i borrowed my dads car and came across some correspondence that indicated the affair has been ongoing and is flourishing. Now i feel guilty for not exposing my father years ago when my Mother was younger and better equipped to handle ,. It. She Snow 62, and i done to think a divorce would be in her Best interest. Despite my fathers excellent income he has always been a a Little Short a and was never Able to save much Over the years. 1 am certain he has been funnelling Money to this other woman and members of her family. is that he will do the same Money he is about to inherit from his Mother. The amount is considerable a about $1 million. L if my grandmother were Quot aware of my father s affair she would undoubtedly take Steps to provide independently in her will for my sister and me. We Are her Only two grandchildren. At the present time my father is her sole beneficiary. Should i blow the whistle and endanger my relationship with my father and break my Mother s heart t r should i keep my Mouth shut and enable my father to continue to get away with it i need your input Ann. Please help me out. Silent and angry in Missouri dear Missouri if you arc absolutely certain that your father is still involved with he woman discuss the dilemma with your Clergyman family doctor or some trusted Friend. If that person feels As i do that your grandmother should be told go ahead and Tell her. Under no circumstances should your Mother be in formed i have a Hunch she knows do but to be told that it is common knowledge among family members would be extremely humiliating. Dear Ann Landers a How do i Tell my extremely insensitive Mother in Law How much she embarrasses her grown son and daughter by telling anyone who will listen a a cute stories about How a a Donnie and a a Virginia used to wet the bed until they were 6 and 7 years of age my another in Law is not a vicious person but she thinks these tasteless stories Are funny in spite of the fact that her children Are in their50s. How can i set her straight without causing More problems fed up in new Mexico dear new mex it seems there a one like that in every family. The Best a a cure is to Cut her Short in mid sentence. Say of please not that old tiresome Story again a and change the subject. . Do this As Many times As you must to shut her up h? 3j,,6, shoud be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi go Irr oui i Kobz a a Cago c creators Syndicate live in dilemma has Catholic solution dear Aery i am writing about the Mother who was Happy because her daughter was denied her wish to be married in the Catholic Church because she and her Fiance had been living together. A Quot i was raised in a strict Catholic family. I went to Church a very sunday As Well us to confession observed the holy Days of obligations and have a High moral character except in one area of my life. I live with my Fiance my parents were heartbroken when i expressed my in tent to live with him. They failed to consider the fact that i witnessed recurring physical abuse in my family while growing up. Many times i had to step in front of a leather Belt that was intended for my Little brother a or grab my infant sister to protect her from an Apple hurtling toward her head. Her crime was crying loudly while my father was on the phone. My Mother begged me to reconsider my decision to live with my franc saying that it was going against everything i had been taught i finally told her that the reason i wanted to live with my Fiance before marrying him was to make sure he is not like my father. I did not want to live in fear again or subject my children to the violence i had endured. Abby i have consulted a priest and was told that Thev will marry a couple who had been living together if there is a three month separation before the ceremony please pass this information along if you think it will help the Catholic daughter dear daughter. Thank you for your enlightening letter. I consulted father Joseph Moniz of St. Joseph s Church in Hawthorne Calif he said that such decisions Are Eft to the discretion of the diocesan guidelines require that couples wait six months. However if they have been living together or have been married civilly and the priest believes them to be sufficiently mature he May perform the ceremony in a Shorter period. Moun Morris eiom1� a fluid be addressed 0 dear Abby Jit . Box 447, a press Syndicate quibble Arlo two to uu6 Uit but amp of 60mdom my a fowls. If amp Ems twit Are no a Oft Chauve Lucs. m att 5tav5 the Aren t you closing your Wallet prematurely Lance Vou a fluent a finished doling our a a w allowance. Quot i Nteta that w0uco lc55em the boredom and make this u3e0c h006 6eaca0u. 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