European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 21, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Londay november 21, 1994 the stars and stripes Pago 21 each no kids facts about touching. \ ear Ann Landers you missed the Point when you responded to Grandfather who asked How honorable decent men can protect themselves in the face of increasing claims of in dual seems that while his 9-year-old granddaughter was sitting on his Lap she said you Are touching me in the wrong instead of appreciating her sensitivity he told her get the hell off my Lap. You re watching too much it is difficult these Days for children to make the Fine distinctions Between what is acceptable touching and what is not. If that child is criticized for expressing her feelings she will learn that it is safer to keep quiet. The next time she feels that she has been touched in Ann Landers the wrong place she May remain silent and this time it May be authentic abuse. It is understandable that an adult might be alarmed to hear accusations from his own blood relative but if a child tells you to Stop touching him or her in the wrong place please pay attention. Children should never be discouraged from expressing their feelings. Todo so is to deprive them of their Power. We must help children understand what is and snot appropriate touching. This is by no Means an easy process but the More children Are encouraged to express their feelings both positive and negative the bet Ter adjusted they will be. And safer . Dea Evanston you have written a letter that i Hope will be the basis for discussion in Many kindergartens and first Grade class rooms. So Many youngsters have been brought up to be Lieve that whatever adults do is of and that children must never question them. They must learn Early that they too have rights and to Trust their instincts. 1 wholeheartedly agree that we must teach children the difference Between what is of touching and what is not. 1 thanks for an Opportunity to get this information out. Dear Ann Landers i have lived with Herman for 14 years. We have teen age son. We were never married because his wife refused to give him a divorce. Herman s wife died six months ago. At her funeral the oldest of his three daughters begged him not to Many me for at least a year out of respect for her Mother. Here s the problem. Herman and i Are both in failing health. Our son does not know we Aren t legally mar ried. I Don t want to wait another six months but her Man insists. I be had major surgery twice and Herman has a heart condition. I am 39, and he is 70. I m begin Ning to think Herman does t really want to marry me after me Ann does his daughter have the right to ask her father to do this they hardly had much of a relationship when his wife was alive and they Don t have much of one now. She does not consider my son to Beher brother. If Herman has so much respect for his late wife Why did he live with me for 14 years while shews alive i really need your counsel Ann. Major quandary in . a Sherman owes you a lot More than he owes his Daugh Ter. Enlist the help of both your physician and her Man s to move up the wedding Date. Good Luck. Utters to an Lander should be addressed to or . A 11562. Chi Cago Iii. 60611-0562.cd creators Syndicate Organ donors bestow gift of life dear Abby last May 27,1 received a Call telling me that my father was finally getting his lung transplant. We flew to Cleveland and while we were in the Hospital waiting room we met a family who had come for a heart transplant from the same nurse came in and told us that the organs would soon be arriving so my husband and i rushed to the Lith floor to watch the helicopter land. Through the skylight we saw two people carrying a cooler. I knew they had dad s life i their hands. I cannot describe the feeling it gave me. I thought about the family who had lost a loved one he was 42 years old that memorial Day weekend and the pain they must have Felt. But in the midst of their Sor Row they bestowed the most generous gift. We were told this same donor donated not Only his lungs and dear Abby heart but also his pancreas liver kidneys and Bone marrow As the doctor came out afterwards to Tell us the procedure had been successful and my father had received healthy lung we applauded for each other s loved ones and shed tears or Relief. s birthday was the following Friday and the heart recipient s birthday was that tuesday what wonderful birthday gift our father received. -k.c. In Michigan i appreciate being Able to share your family s Joy. Any Reader who is interested in giving the gift of life should sign an Organ donor form. To obtain one write to the living Bank . Box 6725, Houston texas77265. No self addressed stamped envelope is Nec Essary but because this organization depends on donations to exist a Dollar or two would be appreciated. The living Bank is a National Organ and tissue donor Regis try. " letters Tor this column should to addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris Iii. 61054. 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