European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 30, 2007, Darmstadt, Hesse                                May 2007 stars and stripes Mideast edition Page 13 opinion father reluctant when son joined the ranks by Clifford Brownstein is fear of the unknown really worse than fear of the known i ask myself this question As the father of a Soldier who will soon redeploy to my son Alex served one tour of from 2005 to it caused As Well As Many family members and con Stant anxiety and but Back it was new territory for All of no one had had a loved one participate actively in a War we didst know what to sex and we didst know How wed but now we and that Why our fears May be even greater when Alex Heads Back to Iraq in theres no Basic training course for parents of deployed i know of no no no conference one can attend to learn How to Cope with what a son or daughter is about to embark in october at age Alex hav ing quit High received his ged and attended Community College for a year walked into the army recruitment office in my guess is that the Recruiter nearly fell off his govern men contracted its not often that a kid from the affluent suburb of Poto Mac tells a Recruiter that he wants to in list in the Middle of a War for eight but that my Tell him to Zig and he de spite the concerns of nearly everyone on both sides of the he was deter mined to Blaze his own it was his duty to himself to his so off he went to fort Leonard for Basic train ing followed by Mili tary police his chosen special his Sis Ter and i visited him there twice once during and then for his gradual the first time i saw my son in his dress uniform and i not tears of Joy or but tears of angst and i didst let him see after Alex was transferred to his base at fort in May he was deployed to Western Bagh he called me in the Middle of the night from where his plane was i was glad to hear his but my anxiety grew As he got closer to it Felt like a bad a Day he phoned from the drop off Point for most from they Are taken by c17 transport planes to various parts of i knew then that this want a dream and that my son was now in the Middle of the Iraq and there want anything i could do to protect it was several Days before i heard from Alex through the wonders of mod Ern i was Able to communicate with him in real time via instant Mes Sage and this proved to be a Blessing and a on the one i wanted to As often As that he was All on the frequent Contact provided me with a level of detail that sometimes was just too much to the first few weeks were rather none but then he began telling me that my son is a professional it has taken me a Long time to realize and accept he is a War Veteran at the Ripe old age of he has seen and he has his High school buddies Ivill be entering their senior year of College i sometimes wonder who is receiving the More important he was going on missions and that i  hear from him for several or a or sometimes that All he could Tell anything else was Classi after hearing from him almost not receiving frequent reports was Misqui Alexs Mother and i had divorced sever Al years before his we were still co parenting our and while we in Many a better relationship than a lot of divorced Cou we had the usual ups and Al exp deployment changed we found ourselves commiserating after nobody else could feel what we were feeling about our sons being at my a wife Learned about an internet mailing list called the a Means for parents of soldiers to support and Comfort one learn about army initiatives and Send care packages to she reached out to her Large network of friends and garnered prayers from Fame congregations and other Simi i reached out to anyone i could including clients and even my motorcycle buddies across the who Are some of the most respect supportive in Many empathetic people i As the War raged on and the year dragged the re ports from Alex be came More graphic and at one he told me that hed continue to convey information about How he was doing unless i told him that it was too much to he also expected that i would filter much of it for his brother and other providing them with As much detail As i deemed they could this included Many pictures of War torn iraqi Dis placed and Home less robotic bomb detectors and weary yet dedicated the realities of War never Felt so Alexs primary role was to serve As a gunner in an armoured Security his along with would patrol designated areas in search of Roadside bombs and camouflaged some times he would Man his Turret in 125de Gree summertime heat for 12 hours and they r4ss it find other he would end up in Battles with As Well As with civilians whom the insurgents had coerced or convinced to join their his convoys came under soldiers he was close to were when his Mother and i asked How he was dealing with the deaths of people he he said he didst want to talk about As for i thanked god for each Day Alex continued to i would periodically ask Alex about his opinion of the he would always Tell me that he has no that most sol Diers dont pay attention to the politics Back and that they see their roles As simply doing their jobs and watching one another wavering from that stance could have disastrous i could understand the need to but i found it difficult to comprehend that so Many soldiers would have no opinions about the or at the suppressing their thoughts about i once asked him what it Felt like to kill his answer was both chilling and he if there aiming a gun at me from behind a window Shade on the seventh floor of an apart ment its either them or i dont want it to be i think that was the moment i realized that my son was doing a Job that neither i i dare most of the american pub Lic would have the stomach or the courage to i  have been prouder of him or More scared for Alex returned stateside in mid january 2006 and came Home for a month a few weeks we had a rollicking Wel com Home party for and he regaled friends and relatives with stories and Pic Tures of his he was invited to speak at his High Winston he gave a using Many of the photos he had sent to More than 400 students and 30 teachers and adminis it was a informative and eloquent the ironic was that Alex had quit that same High school three years de spite Good grades and exemplary sat because he yearned for something something and the prodigal son had returned to the place he had left so yet so when he was barely my son is a professional it has taken me a Long time to realize and accept while he has other career Aspira this is his Job for the next five plus now a he commands oth he is a War Veteran at the Ripe old age of he has seen and he has he has seen his colleagues he has seen children his High school Bud Dies will be entering their senior year of College i sometimes wonder who is receiving the More important i love my son and am very proud of his is a Noble he has set his sights on an eventual career with the marshals or perhaps the Fri or he is growing up faster than i Ever my family and i have breathed much easier this last knowing that he is but our breathing has Quick two months before his expected re after its going to be a very Long 15 Clifford Brownstein is the owner of the North consulting firm practical this column first appeared in the Washington prickly City by Scott Stantis Yul Asp wot t