European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 14, 1978, Darmstadt, Hesse Thursday september 14, 1978 the stars and stripes Page Russell Baker some stories found inaccurate doctor omniscient answers the mail dear doctor what has become of the generation Gap i Haven t seen it for years and suddenly discover that i miss it. Over 40 dear Over 40 the generation Gap died ignored and heartbroken in the poverty of an East St. Louis flophouse four years ago. An autopsy ascribed death to an Onset of 30th birthdays on the Gap s younger Side which drastically reduced the vital flow of contempt juices necessary to keep the Over-30 population inflamed. As the younger Side of the Gap began finding it increasingly ludicrous never to Trust anybody Over 30, the Gap became Lan guid and Idle lost its sense of purpose and started drinking. Simultaneously the Gap s older Side developed a violent seizure of watergate syn drome characterized by an insatiable craving for titillation about government corruption. In alarmingly Brief time the Gap lost All interest in itself and expired of acute pointlessness. Fortunately it was saved from a pot Ter s Field burial and has been removed to the smithsonian institution in Washington for stuffing and mounting. It will eventually be displayed Between two other distinguished relics of the american past the in credibly Boring Leisure time crisis of the Early 1960s and the metrical for Brunch. Dear or. Omniscient is the sexual Revo Lution now Over and if so who won really out of it dear really out of it despite a few mopping up actions still in Progress such As mayor Beame s Campaign to bottle up Massage Parlours at Yorktown the sexual revolution is now history. There were two important results. One if you Are a girl and insist that the boy marry you you Are now a counterrevolutionary. From this Point of View the boys won. Two the birth rate has dropped considerably indicating that sex is becoming a social time killer like television. From this Point of View both sex and television lost. Dear doctor after 30 years of not read ing the comic strips i have recently resumed and am appalled to see that Tracy seems to be wearing somebody else s Mustache. Is it Mutt s or Jeff a and the european edition col. Billy e. Spangler Usa. Editor in chief it. Col. . Taylor Usan. Deputy editor in chief Mert Proctor. Managing editor Elmer d. Frank. Production manager Henry manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for . Armed forces overseas. The stars and stripes is published in conjunction with the armed forces information program of the department of defense. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official View of the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. 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What does it mean has Tracy sold out to the hippies american dear american the Mustache Tracy is wearing used to belong to major Hoople. It is composed of fabric taken from the Tassel of major Hoople s Fez. Tracy did not want the Mustache. While you were away the famous detective celebrated his 75th anniversary on the police Force. During those years he had never had a new suit and when chief Patton started inquiring about an appropriate gift Tracy said he would appreciate some new threads. Naturally the police budget would t stand the financial Burden so Patton bought major Hoople s Fez at a Flea Market and Tess sewed the Tassel into a Mustache. The Federal government is furious about the whole thing and senator Proxmire wants to know Why the police department is squandering Money or synthetic mus taches at a time when the City is trying to cadge Federal funds to meet its obligations to diet Smith. Dear or. Omniscient i see where Ramses ii the Well known Mummy has had his fungus infection cured by doctors in Paris and has been sent Back to Egypt with a clean Bill of health. What kind of a society is this that can cure fungus in a 3,000-year-old Mummy but can t even cure the common cold disgusted dear disgusted the answer to your question is simple. The Mummy did t have the common cold. It had fungus. If it had been suffering from a cold How do you know society could t have cured it Vin Tage mummies May not be As resistant to cures As you Are. If my reply seems Curt it is because your phrasing of this query shows a pro found ignorance of the proper Way to ask disgusted questions. The Only approved form for asking questions of this variety is As follows How come a country that can go to the Moon can t even cure the common cold there Are millions of variations How come a country that can go to the Moon can t even keep the streets clean or How come a country that can go to the Moon can t even get the mail Cross town in less than three Days it Cetera. The answer to All these questions is that there is absolutely no correlation Between skills required to go to the Moon and those required to clean streets or deliver mail just As there is none Between the skills required to cure a Mummy s fungus and your Runny nose. If All or. Omniscient s correspondents asked questions As dumb As yours the Anarch of knowledge would soon become a sore Limp. Or. Omniscient c new York times Valley forge has its history authenticated by the Park service by Donald Janson Valley forge a. Not the National Park service is conducting a $230, 000 study to make sure it has its history straight on the Encampment of George Washington s Continental army Here in the Winter of 1777-78. Jacqueline Thibaut coordinating Histo Rian for the 18-month project said the first year of the study has convinced her team that previous historical accounts have been less than accurate. Some changes will be in order she said for Park service brochures historical handbooks and audio visual presentations for visitors. Valley forge was a 2,250-acre state Park for 83 years until Pennsylvania decided the Federal government could better afford to administer it properly and turned it Over to the Park service two years ago. Because of the importance of the site in the revolutionary War the Park service last year began the most intensive re search project at its new National historical Park that the Agency has Ever undertaken anywhere. It is a three pronged project. Besides six regular historians it hired two architect Al historians to do some detective work on the Park s buildings and fortifications and contracted with the University museum of the University of Pennsylvania to provide archaeologists to use sophisticated new techniques to determine whether still More could be Learned by excavation. Each team will have a report for the Park service by next March. Meanwhile they Are comparing notes and coordinating findings. Thibaut said in an interview monday that her team had visited 130 repositories of Basic information on the period so far seeking out contemporary accounts Dia Ries drawings and maps to be Able to Sepa rate fact from legend. She noted that previous historians did not have the Finan Cial resources to crisscross the country for this much research on a single encamp ment. Her team will soon go to England and France for Rich one of her associates pointed out that some revolutionary War books were written with a Point of View in mind. Their findings were tailor made to fit popular image of Valley forge As a nation Al shrine he said. Thibaut said research so far confirms that contrary to last year s Christmas stamp and Parson Weems text Isaac Pott did not observe and report Washington Stapleton decries liabilities of being president s sister Washington up the liabilities of being a president s sister outweigh the benefits Ruth Carter Stapleton said Here. Stapleton an evangelist said her prominence helps draw bigger crowds to her ministry of spiritual Healing than Ever be fore but people come for the wrong Rea son. Without a brother in the White House she might have achieved even greater Suc Cess in her work the 49-year-old younger sister of president Carter told . News and world report. My meetings have increased. But with the increase there s come a less pure group As far As motivation is concerned curiosity seekers those that Are anti Jim my and anti me automatically. All of this i think dissipates the potential of the spirit in a meeting that i May the election of a sibling As president for Ever changes one s life she said. Billy Carter was very secure and confident in his work and his Peanut business and she had been carrying out her ministry for 21 years before her brother became president. And then overnight you re no longer Billy Carter the Peanut Farmer or Ruth Stapleton a wife and a Mother who has a message. All of a sudden you re the presi Dent s brother and mrs. Carter does t Challenge brother Billy s use of the president As a Spring Board for personal appearances and endorsements. If Billy had his Choice today of going Back to the place he was before or being where he is now i m sure there s no doubt what he would want. But you can t go Back you see. And even when Jimmy s out after six More years there s no Way to go kneeling in solitary prayer in the Snow for survival of his Continental army during Christmas week of 1777 while Gen. Howe s Superior British army held Philadelphia a few Miles away. She said Washington probably used the Pott s House for his Headquarters at Valley forge As chronicled but that Pott s was not there at the time. She conceded that patriotic organizations might not like the revision. Freedom foundation for example has a heroic statue of Washington kneeling in prayer at its Headquarters outside the Park. Nevertheless she said that Weems Story and his Story about Washington chopping Down a Cherry tree were myth part of the 19th Century beatification of nor has she found data to support the bloody footprints in the Snow stories or stories of an exhausted ragged army s dire Straits As they retreated. We have found nothing that will change the Basic outline of the history of the period she said but stories of a barely Mobile stumbling army coming into Valley forge Are untrue. They were Able to build Fine fortifications. Nor were they in effective soldiers untrained until Baron von Steuben began his training program Here that also inaccurate she said is a state placed plaque designating one of the houses on the grounds As von Steuben s quarters. This was caused she said by mis translation of a diary in French by von Steuben s aide de Camp Pierre de pen the architectural historians or. And mrs. John Dodd Are praying floors and partitions of the principal houses on the grounds to determine age and authenticity. Elizabeth Ralph a physicist geologist at the University of Pennsylvania and her team of archaeologists Are using soil penetrating radar Waves and a hand held cerium magnetometer As Well As Infra red Aerial photography for clues to where to dig to establish the Correct Sites of sol Diers log huts fortifications and other structures covered Over by Earth in the 200 years since the Encampment. The sensing techniques Ralph said can save costly useless destructive digging. A dozen Small excavations so far have found hut Sites Musket balls buttons and other artefacts from the revolutionary War period As Well As tent stakes from boy scout encampments of 1950,1957 and 1964. Czech bus Hijacker sentenced to death Prague a Robert bares one of three czech gunmen who last May 23 commandeered a czech excursion bus carry ing students and tried to Force their Way to West Germany was sentenced to death by a regional court at Pilsen West Bohemia. In the official announcement the czechoslovak news Agency ctr reported his brother Vaclav bares was sentenced to a 25-year prison term. The third assailant Milan bares a rela Tive of the Brothers who was to Start an 18 month jail term a Day before the bus hijacking was killed in a Border shootout with czech police. Ctr said the three hijacked a bus carry ing 39 secondary school students and forced the Driver to take it to the Border. It added they used stolen rifles in the attack wounded one of the girl students shot at Border guards and murdered the Driver whom they held hostage until their
