European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 31, 1981, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the Tarsan stripes january 1981 people who write letters to the editor when i pick up harpers or the local the first place i go is to the letters to the some editors Are bold enough to include an address where readers can voice their some editors Are too smart to put up with All that for William the new yorker Doest want to know what you i think Reading the letters to the editor is As fascinating As hanging around the local bus i like to go where i can find human nature in the so to and after years of 1 have finally put the letter writers in their before i list the types who write letters to the let me list the people who As a Good people dont write letters to the you part of their goodness is their conviction that Good will and so these Good who recognize Good stuff when they see cant believe that anybody would have the nerve to censor a Good Butcher a Good fire a Good or kill a Good so they dont write in and Pogo vanishes from the funny doonesbury gets and harpers almost goes out of then your Garden variety human beings dont write these people dont dont and cant Stop when they Arent they arc doing something physical or watching something these people Are the ones who whats a Sadat and a begin having cleared away the notion that let ters to the editor Are written by Sensi ble folks in love with Quality and style and i can list the ones who the nitpicking non sequitur these people write in about something that has never come up and about which if it Ever nobody would write about they fiercely grab the smallest Ball and run with sometimes they grab a Ball that Doest even they Are without warning and without they will sound off on such issues As How mad it makes them to see improperly installed Rolls of toilet from Toile paper installation it is Short hop to How people Are losing control Over their own destinies and what a great country this used to be when you could have your devotions before the pledge of and any women be in the work too the magnificent obsessives these people have been Riding the same horse for so they Are stuck to the they Are the on Issue theres really no need to read their once you see their you know what their letters will these one horse people ride the usual issues in the usual Way they Are prior Antigua prior ant sex prior ant food prior you will notice that there Are More Antis than that because people Are mean As i ant people have always in a of the Acme to you the r it is because of of and Rig Var garrulous geysers or voluble Volca noes these people often have and when they cant locate an they write letters to the they Call the process blowing off but steam is not what the writer is blowing these writers favor the total disaster approach after they have levelled every flooded every Valley and produced a death count worthy of a visit from the they fall Content to refrain from comment until their next plate of retried the sly scribblers these failed writers have figured out that one Way to get published and see their names in print besides getting divorced or picked up for Drunken driving is to write a letter to the they will write a letter on the least pretext a dangling an incorrect the rezoning of a gravel in their own these people Are usually or these people produce tiny works of Munfor the news event that inspired the scrib Bler to such literary Heights was a work of rezoning resists High flown rhe uni Ronic underlings these my personal comprise the largest percentage of the letter writing nobody Ever advised these people to wipe that express Ion off their they dont have an express these people Are part of the teem humourless the ones who Are living the unexamined life that is not Worth when Swift wrote in a modest proposal that the Way to solve a poverty problems was to Stew or fricassee poverty stricken babies and serve them to the Rich for these units wrote in to decry child when a feminist writer said women dont need showers in the locker room because women dont these people wrote in to say that women do too these people Are in the dark about tone and relative significance they thought every body was just kidding about the but what really boiled their custard was How ugly people talked about Nancy reagans Interior the truth is Safe from these Unior Deadpan ones but the world across 1 clerical vestment 4 Here to eternity 8 spy Hari 12 by Means of 13 Wash 14 soviet City 15 actor Fleming 16 German River 17 cheat sound 18 boudoir item 21 greek letter 22 Slippery one 23 Dawdle 26 Macaw 27 Golf term 30 on a trip 31 family member 32 Casa room 33 word with talk 34 English business 35 parrots name 36 crag 37 military group 38 backstage sights 45 popular opera 46 at hand 47 compete 48 for one 49 Fence feature 50 Nice season 51 Virginia and danish 52 Winter vehicle 53 beet coloured Down 1 eager 2 for one 3 Nemesis 4 ornate 5 half diameters 6 Kiln 7 corporate Absorptions 8 Aesop conclusion 9 bedouin 10 kiss and 11 nautical term 19 agile 20 Black or solution time 22 answer to yesterdays Green 23 faucet 24 solemn wonder 25 seance sound 26 first 27 like Joey 28 in the family 29 Bolger or Milland 31 no attached 32 mediocre 34 Angeles 35 reacted like a cat 36 Ivan and Peter 37 size of Type 38 Elan 39 actress Hayworth 40 dutch cheese 41 actress Patricia 42 finished 43 parasite 44 germ crossword 131 Teof Onn tenders dear Ann Landers you Are Al ways getting letters from love starved wives who complain that their husbands never give them any i have another kind of j and i have been married 20 All the Man has on his mind is getting me into bed or anyplace that suits i cannot pass him in the Hall without him putting a hand on me when i Cook or he undresses me with his i am so sick of being etched after and touched that i could Ive even considered a Legal separation to get away from those hands and those if j thinks i am Home he leaves the shop follows me around the House and makes a pest of youd think after All these years hed be burned please Tell those women who com Plain because their husbands Are under sexed to be thankful they have id Trade Gogo machine dear Gogo youve got High class its a lot easier to live with what you have than the other at least you feel some of those dead batteries out there perform if they wanted so quit complaining and count your dear Ann Landers my 26 year old sister takes from one to three showers every these showers last at least an Betty keeps the water running All that after she gets out of the she shampoos her she washes her hands Clear up to her elbows at least four times an hour when she is at the girl can go through a bar of soap in less than two this has been going on for quite some and i am Wor it does not sound like nor Mal behaviour to any suggestions clean in Wisconsin dear wis compulsive washing such As you describe frequent and for Long periods of time is a symptom of mental your sister should see a psychiatrist for an she is in dire need of professional dear Ann Landers i am a 23 year old female who is having a hard time getting dates because no Guy my age is interested in the problem is that i look about Ive tried exotic make High heels and older hair to no its embarrassing when i meet somebody for the first time and the unavoidable question conies what High school do you go to when they find out i Haven been to High school for five the shocked silence is Ive been told that when i get ill still look terrific but youthfulness int much of a Consolation to an 80yearold re tired old maid on a pension too old for teenagers dear too old theres not much you can do about your us tra Youthful and i suspect you Are going to be fight ing this Battle for a Long so i suggest that you develop a More substantive and sophisticated conversational How you sound is More of an age Peg than How you maybe that your
