European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 18, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns a question of shape by Peter Jaeger maybe the new coca cola is the real old thing by John Windrow staff columnist i happened to be Back in the states during the great coca cola it was an effervescent everyone who was big enough to walk was in a froth Over most of my acquaintances Back there Are women who drink at least a six pack of the stuff every afternoon and men who put away about that much mixed with in Tennessee it is pronounced yall come on by the House year Well sit out on the porch in the swang and drink a i was sitting in the swing at my grandmothers House drinking a As i was surrounded by a legion of How a like that new tasting Cocola Cousin Leo asked i haunt thought about i took another to be i it tastes about the same to that ignited a they held their rolled their spit in the swore oaths and heaped abuse on the new it Doest have that old zing like it used to one its another i done already switched to or another i handed my Coke to Cousin can you really taste a difference i asked wait a Cotton picking Aaron this is the old where you get some old Cocola All eyes were on my there been rumours of people cleaning out country stores Way Back in the Woods and stockpiling the old Coc Colas in their barns and planning to make a killing bootlegging the stuff for a i just bought that Cocola yesterday in Grandmamma told my grandmother goes to Church three times a week and has never told a lie in her everyone was maybe you got your old Cocolas and your new Cocolas mixed Aaron i left them there All tasting my Coke and arguing fiercely about whether it was new or that was just one Small incident in a juror that rocked the nation to its very since of the tycoons in Atlanta have announced that they Are going to Start making the real Mccoy they apologized to an anguished said they must have lost their Heads and begged i assume everyone is am As there Are Only two ways this could have happened a the big wheels at coca cola Are a gang of crack brained morons who dont have enough sense to understand what Treyve got going for or b the same big wheels Are marketing and Public relations geniuses who managed to get everyone in the Western world talking about Coc Colas for not Only coca cola on every every Man and boy was thumping his proclaiming to anyone who would listen that he loved coca cola exactly the Way it thirsted for craved it with a frenzied so coca cola gave it Back to exactly like it announcing the unimproved what it gets Down to in life is this you have to accept either the stupidity theory or the conspiracy theory of do great events come to pass because a Bunch of liars and con artists get together and manufacture them or do these same things happen by sheer Accident because people Are too stupid to make things turn out the Way they want them to being an i subscribe to the conspiracy if i am Pepsi cola must strike Back advertising Wiles being what they 1 expect them to do exactly the same with a slightly different i would like to humbly offer a in where everyone gets All his information from to and to is geared to the 9 year old anything that happened two weeks ago is ancient so Pepsi must wait two then announce a National Campaign promoting the new say its like the old but then and this is very important ensure that the Campaign will the Public must reject the new Pepsi to be brainwashed into thinking they have loved the old Pepsi All you How to do this anyone who has Ever been in a base Exchange knows americans will buy  even buy nude pictures of i have the Pepsi must hire me for their advertising spokesman while the Campaign is in i am not i dont know any dance i cant i cant flounce around with my hair blowing in the snap my fingers while i trip merrily Down the look dynamite playing touch football or do any of those things the people in the to ads do while the Guy with the hip voice talks about America and being Cool and living you life in the fast Lane with Pepsi or rolaids or whatever it is they want to so the Campaign will fail i guarantee then everyone will find out How much they love the old and people will be talking about it instead of you Guys at Pepsi know where to find stripes Magazine