European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 29, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns tied Down in Scotland photo by Cus Schuettler a dolls House is not Welcome Home anymore by John Windrow staff columnist when i was a All the children had one Day at school to show off the gifts they had raked in for the boys invariably brought Cowboy the girls brandished it was a More traditional in the second All the girls brought Betsy Etsy these Clever instruments soiled just like the real a Small bottle of water was inserted Between Betsy after an appropriate the water emerged from her nether i thought this was repugnant at the and made so bold As to say one Darling Little Mother hit me Over the head with her plastic and the teacher threatened to Send me to the the girls had Barbie Barbie had a Complete wardrobe for a stunning she even had a tiny i was beginning to take a More tender interest in the gentle sex by and i thought that was pretty racy i remember thinking Barbie was the Cadillac of doll Dom about As advanced As dolls would Ever i was since that dolls have soon they May be so depraved that Only adults will be allowed to own after last i breathed a Long sigh of Relief like the Man who has weathered the i thought i had experienced the worst that the psychos in the toy Industry had to i had taken their Best i of to the repulsive cabbage Patch doll and the dam burst of publicity that the Feather rained Media had engulfed us All the cabbage Patch dolls Are As ugly As the Bottom Side of a yet seemingly sane adults common folks like you and me rushed into the stores screaming for they even did breaking each others Bones to take one of the monstrosities Home to a Little child they claimed to i was certain this was the absolute we had nowhere to go but How wrong can a Man be from the bowels of the toy the rambo doll is slouching toward it will arrive on the store shelves in time for i assume the great Christmas greed hype will kick off any week the rambo doll is modelled after rambo of movie the character portrayed by Sylvester the Man who has Given new meaning to the word in his latest rambo first part the a disenchanted Veteran of the Vietnam returns to that unhappy land and tries to kill everyone who survived the recent Reuters reports that 44 an average of one every Are slain in the not counting the hordes rent asunder in More than 70 How about America what better Way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than by giving a rambo doll this naturally gives Rise what comes next a Beirut terrorist doll pull the string and he blows up someones a British soccer fan doll that tramples italian soccer fan dolls to death How about an Idi Amin doll that feeds Little dolls to the crocodiles theres another toy on the one that even deadlier than its the Nukie doll produced by a company called practical solutions United press International describes it As a cuddly velvet toy shaped like a nuclear now heres a treat for every Little girl and a mushroom Cloud Over the Christmas How Many Little girls Are going to be tucked in at night who will kiss me Good now kiss my nuclear warhead Good the people behind the Nukie doll say they Are producing them to make fun of the nuclear arms wonder How  go Over in Japan dont run up to the attic and find August stripes Magazine