European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 02, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes monday september 2, 1985 columns it s time to dry out the Hooks by jame3 j. Kilpatrick a splendid proposition comes from Jon Sheen attached to the seventh army in West Germany. He wants o shoot those innovators who seized upon the useful word alcoholic and ran amok with such abominable coinages As Workaholic Chocoholic and spend hol in. This vile practice he writes not Only creates words so ugly and unwieldy that they seem to Havel been stitched together by a linguistic Frankenstein but also by association weaken the mental Impact of alcoholic to a Point where what i d been led to believe was Chemi Cal addiction is treated As simply an unhealthy amen to All that that trendy suffix Holic As in Golfa Holic speech Holic has worn out its Welcome. While we re expelling this intruder what about Gate in the matter of the watergate scandals of 1972-74. The proper noun worked Well it came to embrace the whole noxious episode that resulted in Nixon s abdication. Since then sad to say we be had a Billy Gale a de Bat Gate and most recently a pen Taafe. Believe me this is a Gate for closing. A Reader from key Biscayne fla., writes to nominate two other candidates for extermination scenario and i la second that motion too. Let us also return parameter to the world of science. Homophones those tricksters that sound alike but Are spelled differently continue to cause trouble. The Ashta Bula Ohio Star Beacon had a headline cow being fed magnates the jewish week had the problem in reverse a group associated with american Oil Magnet Armand Hammer will invest in a search for Oil in the Negev. In the new Haven Conn Register the associated press reported an Accident in which a car was struck by an ambulance with its lights on and sirens Bureau of National affairs summarized lawsuit involving four demonstrators who were asked to the a in London recalled the soccer riot in which fans of the Liverpool team Calmo Rcd onto a the Scro Beach Fla press journal an editorial writer remarked upon the hoards of local golfers who need new links to play on. A writer in the Seattle times Tol us about a nigh boyhood on Jackson Street that is St in ethically half a dozen readers thank you nil sent the same clip Ping from the Cleveland Plain dealer in which a movie critic summarized the return of the Soldier u appears that a third woman Jenny loves Chris with a feeling far More arduous than cousins Are normally from Israel comes an a Story about two israeli teachers slain by terrorists. Foreign minister Yitzhak Shamir wants the death penalty to apply in cases of sadistic and cruel acts of murder carried out against indefensible a couple of Fine Points the Trenton . Times reported that scalpers Are getting As much As $360 per Ducket to the musical big the preferred spelling is Ducat after the Gold coins once issued in Sicily Austria Ard Czechoslovakia. After president Reagan s surgery Many writers had him chomping at the bit to get Back to work. The better verb if a spa lined metaphor must be saddled once More is champing. The word for a Diagonal relationship is not catty cornered As it turned up in an unidentified clipping. It s eater cornered either with or without the Hyphen an Oldie that etymology its Trace to the word for the four spot in Dice and playing cards. The happiest coinage of the week comes from a re Porter on the Lisbon Ohio morning journal. It appears that an out of town Driver was up arcing his pickup truck when it hit another car. I love it if you can unplug a pipe a usage that dates from 1775you certainly should be Able o unpack a car. I move the verb s admission at once c univ jul Prthu television the cruellest hoax of All by ast Buchwald while Buchwald it on vacation we Are reprinting Tome of us columns from the put or. Heinrich Applebaum recently completed a study on the effects of television on children. In his Case though he was t concerned with violence but How Tele vision gives children a false sense of reality. Or. Applebaum told me the greatest danger of Tele vision u that it presents a world to children that does t e�4i Anc raises expectations that can never be i Don t understand doctor i said. Well let me cite one example. Have you Ever seen a television show where a person in an automobile does t immediately find a parking place on the very first try come to think of it i said i Haven my Only is there always a parking spot available but also the Driver does t even have to Back into it. There Are two parking spaces available whenever someone in a to show needs one. Children Are being led to believe that when they grow up they will always be Able to find a parking place when and where they want it. Can you imagine the trauma when they discover that in real life Yoa can drive around a Block for three hours and still not find a place to put your car " never thought of it but it s True. What else do they show on television much gives a distorted picture of the real world have you noticed that whenever a character walks out of a restaurant or office building or apartment and says to the Doorman get me a taxi the taxi immediately arrives millions of children Are Rcd i the impression that All a Doorman has to do is blow his whistle and a taxi will be there. I have never seen a show where the Doorman has said. I m sorry. I can t get you a taxi. You better take the bus " of course i said i never knew before what bothered me about those to action programs but now i do. There is always a yellow taxi waiting offscreen. What else have you discovered kids have a perverted sense of what emergency wards of hospitals Are really like. On to shows they take a kid to an emergency room and four doctors come Rushing Down to Bandage his leg. In a real life situation the kid would be sitting on the Bench for two hours before he even saw an intern. On to there always Hap pens to be Hospital bed available when a kid needs it. What the kids in this country Don t know is that some times you have to wait three Days to gel a Hospital bed and then you have to put a Cash Deposit of $700 Down before they give it to Applebaum said the crudest hoax of All u when to shows a lawyer defending someone innocent of a crime. On the screen the lawyer spends Day and night digging up the evidence to Clear his client in real life the lawyer says to the defendant look Ive got 20 minutes. Tell me your Story and then i la plead you guilty and make a Deal with the a in real life the defendant might say but i m inno cent the lawyer would say so what i can t afford to find that out. I m not Perry Mason " then what you re saying or. Applebaum u that it in t the violence on to but the fantasy that is doing harm to exactly. Even the commercials Are taking their toll. Children think they la find the mate of their dreams. When they Don t find him or her after gargling All night they go into a tailspin and Many of them never come out of it. What do you think is the biggest fear Little girls have i have no that someday when they get married their husbands will have ring around the what about boys boys worry that they la Only go around once in life and they won t have All the gusto out of their Beer that they c lot anal Van Tim Hete . Justas Sooh a Mamet. 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