European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 06, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday december 6, 1985 columns & com merits today s crossword my him by him Bumm hmm hmm a hmm Hub he Bhim in America has few secrets left of sell by Russell Baker so Many Federal employees arc now Selling american secret to foreigners thai the country faces an acute shortage of secrets. Within the past two weeks authorities struggling to Stop the secrets Drain have arrested government work ers both Active and retired on charges of peddling the stuff to China Israel and the soviet Union. Docs any one doubt that dozens of other foreign Powers Are even now in touch with financially desperate Federal workers eager to Cash in while there arc still secrets left to sell school guidance Counselor already report a Sharp de crease in the number of students interested in careers on the Federal payroll. When asked Why government work is not appealing 72 percent Check the Box opposite Job offers inadequate Opportunity for Windfall Balfour Jakes a Federal employment specialist recently told the Senate classified documents committee that a lot of these kids think this generation is Selling off the scr cos so fast that there will be none left to sell when they become old enough to enter the Federal work Jakes hears worried questions when he meets with students. For example what is the government doing to create new secrets to replace those now being squandered and How can the government protect its employees from getting their Kneecaps shot off when they drop a bundle on the ponies if there arc secrets left that arc Worth big Bucks o our nation s enemies the threat is Clear. Unless action is taken the Federal payroll May decline drastically in the near future. President Reagan s commission on the impending disaster was appointed to Deal with this threat overeating secrets faster than government workers can sell them. The plan was for the United states to produce so Many scr cos that our enemies would spend themselves into bankruptcy trying to buy them. Then of course someone noted that Israel which is one of our friends was also in the Market. If Israel spent itself into bankruptcy potential allies around the world would say what s the use of befriending America look How it has treated Well Why Don t we just give Israel the secrets free asked president Reagan. The president is a wonderful human being but he never understood the nature of governments. If we give Israel All our secrets free a Cia Man pointed out Israel will spend herself into bankruptcy trying to buy the secret of Why we Are giving Israel free at the commission s first meeting there was a ceremonial presentation to Reagan of the first new secret it had produced an eyes Only item about Joist specifications for the department of housing and Urban development. This gave the White House a photo Opportunity which the president decided to exploit after being old that the new secret had been sold the night before for $250 to agents of the government of Chad by a janitor at Hud who needed two new Snow tires for his car. The president examined the secret and said he thought Chad had paid a ridiculously High Price. Secretary of stale George Shutlz noted however thai while Chad could t afford big budget espionage i might have thought it was getting a great buy in a collector s Ilem if the Hud secret proved to be the Lav secret left in America. If that were the Case of course it Highl sell to the smithsonian ins dilution for Many thousands of dollars. Having provided a photo oppor Lucily the commission has t met since. Meanwhile american inability to keep a secret is making us the laughingstock of the spy world. Even Britain Long notorious As dispenser of secrets to the entire world is enjoying our embarrassment. Last week n., the Sovil mole in charge of inc Bril ish secret service Kepi a straight face while presenting the . Ambassador to London with an air plane ship ment of assorted British secrets for our English speak ing cousins in their hour of As this goes to press i am informed that Federal employees alarmed by the secrets Drain plan to band together and set sharply reduced quotas on sales there by driving up the Price of secrets. More on this later As soon As i can raise the Cash to pay for details. C new York times what Regan Reay Means was. By Art Buchwald while Summit watchers Are divided on when her Ron Ald Reagan or Mikhail Gorbachev came out better in Geneva there was one person at the talks who really got a raw Deal. He was Donald Regan the president s chief of staff who unfortunately spoke to a reporter As to the role of the leaders wives at the conference. In an interview with the Washington Post Regan said that the coverage of mrs. Reagan s and mrs. Gorbachev s activities in Geneva would have High Appeal to women. They re not going to understand throw weights or what is happening in Afghanistan or what it happening in human rights he said. Some women will but most women believe me your readers for the most pan if you look a poll would rather read the human interest stuff of what i knew Regan was in trouble when i walked into my office and found my assistant steaming Over her Coffee and inc Post article. Is he crazy Cathy asked. No he s a very sane Man. He was Only making a Point that most women would rather read about Nancy and Raisa because your Lex does not have the capacity to understand anything about what is throw weight Well it s a. A. It has to do Wilh a. Something in the arms talks. Like our Side says Don t throw your weight around at this Laboc and then the other Lide says Well throw our weight anywhere we want to and then both sides walk out of the room. A Wom would never understand suppose i told you throw weight is the total weight of we it can be carried by a missile Over a particular Range it is the weight of the business end of the rocket and i includes the armaments along with the hardware necessary to gel them to their targets Back on Earth from the apogee of a ballistic trajectory once they have been boost to thai height by the launch vehicle and after the other stages of the missile have fallen i d say you were How can Donald Regan believe that women arc More me rested in what mrs. Reagan and mrs. Gorbachev had for Tea than War and peace Between the superpowers he did t cd ally say that. He said that women by nature Are much More fascinated by human interest stuff than what happens in do you know where Afghanistan is Cathy asked. Not offhand but if you give me an Atlas i la find it " it s next to Pakistan and South of the Sovil Union " she said smugly. If Regan wants to poll women about x i y who does t he poll men on the whereabouts of Afghanistan uhf a he a j those Chi is Hon t speaking As White House aide but As a former Marine. As an sex Marine myself i assure you that we Revere the weaker sex. If anything Regan was complimenting women for being More involved Wilh cloth is than human Regan is Ronald Reagan s rambo Cathy said i had never seen her like this before. You must not gel 1 told her. Regan did leave an out for himself when he said some women would still be inter cited in the major issues of inc followed by most would to the said. Does Hatsta Lemont make him a pig or does t it i Don t think it is for us to judge Whai Regan believes american women want to read from the Summit the Only thing we can do is judge him As a cd lot Ane it Telmet eur Bov it Iff cause us Toubia 0ns9zu/m/x by Eugene Sheffer across 1 military bigwigs 6 wildebeest 0 youngster 12 Pound part 13 director Howard 14 mine yield 15 car Type Lofv Wood support 18 decorative Zollar Al go awry 23 pub brew 24 airs 25 swede s name 27 fielder s roof 29t be Type 31 like some plays 38 annoyed 37 Symbol of whiteness 38 Intro pid 41 liveliness 43 Volonts 44 Emerald Isle 45 is. Neighbor 47 human like robot 19 scout s rider52 Mao Follower 53 Western Indian 54 computer key 65 . Vip58 Scarlet 57 Pool member down1 actress Derek it Al. 2 regret 3 tiny european nation 4 clcalrix5 Cassia tree 6 Kitchen tool 7 Zero 8 Hansel Crete 9 actress Sophia 10 stood avg. Solution time 23 min. 12-6 Ana. To yesterday s Puzzle 11 impressions 17 hardens 19 smart 21 Whitney 22 squeal 24 big weight 28 thin wedge 28 thinker sculptor 30 fury 32 moderately slow 33 runner sebastian34 Tea for 36 dodged 38 tempos 39 Washer Cycle 40 actress eve 42 chess finishes 45 quote 46 word of warning 48 Wilder s town 50 Decimal base 51s.-tv.lshgold 12-6 Hubert
