European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 22, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the e stars and stripes wednesday january 22, 19flg columns today s crossword beware the seat Belt mentality by Russell Baker new York Well he plan is working in t in mandatory so it Bell Laws Tor motorists arc no in effect in new York and Massachusetts first it a air planes. They made us buckle up in air planes whether we wanted la or not. Now cars. A Cal in will be bicycles. And they try to Tell us we re still free. Some joke. Thai s How the plan works. Start with air planes they Siviy. Americans won t realize they re losing their Freedom if we make them buckle up in air planes. They la think we re doing it for their own Pood the poor fools. Of. In can bal there was plenty of cackling around the table when they worked out the plan. Then when they get used to air plane sent belts Well make them buckle up in their cars. After that Well move them Wear seat belts on Pineir bicycles and make them Belt their lot into their Little plastic kiddie cars and then you can guess what they said after Lac today cars tomorrow link plastic kiddie cars Day after tomorrow dining room tables of yes you can bal they re dreaming of making us Wear seat Bells at the table. If you think not you d be an easy victim Hierta Plait. Being naive you d probably Send your children to colleges hat Don t make professors teach the truth. Campuses Are swarming with professors who Don t teach the truth. I t i part of the plan. You can imagine the discussion when the plan was drawn up somebody says. In might be easy to make the nation s dumbbells Wear Seal belts at the dining room Able but there will always be smart people Able la understand tha Seal Belt threat to Freedom and rally the masses against  somebody else says thai s Why we must Stop the production of smart people by ordering College professors not to teach the  Don t Tali i i Don t know what i m talking about because listen would anybody who smart enough to be a professor spend his sic Worstine for a nuts und sabbatical years when he could be taking advantage of All the great new ways to set Rich thut Nave been written into the to law1? now i be had friends come to me and say reverend though i m not technically a reverend of course despite my Devotion to the Good cause , they say Why docs the plan put so much  us Wear sent belts Ai the Uin Irig mom table especially when hardly anybody can afford a place big enough to have n dining tooth anymore in t the answer As Plain As the nose on your fac sure not Many people can afford dining rooms any More but lawyers can. Lawyers can afford almost anything. So think when that scat Bull Law is enacted who will be bucking up routinely before the victuals Are served lawyers. And who gels appointed to he supreme court  the aim of the plan becoming clearer if not let me remind you Hinl attorney general de me Csc has advise disc supreme court How Freedom can be restored in America. He has said before delivering your opinions supreme court go Back and Pul yourself in the shoes of i Host old 18th-Century Fellows who wrote the Constitution and decide the Case the Way they would have decided it Back there in the 1790s." what launder advice could any supreme court receive but imagine thai advice Fulling on the ears of a supreme court whose entire eating life has been spent buckled up at the dining room table. Could such a court possibly understand the minds of men who had never once had of buckle up before the help was allowed to serve the soup there then is the odious plan to create a supreme court whose Seal Belt mentality will plunge us into the 21st Century. C raw Vort times name your Feacher Nauf candidate by Art Buchwald on Friday or thereabouts Chrisla Mcauliffe of con Cord n.h., will be the first Public schoolteacher to go int space say  because shuttle slights Are now As dependable As inc Long Island Railroad. In any Case me Ruliffe beat out 11,000 applicants for the ride. If you re Ike me you will not be thinking of Mcauliff cat liftoff but your own teachers and wondering what kind of astronauts they would have been had they applied for the trip. As much As j admired her i Don t think mrs. Dunlap would have made a Good teacher naut. Kef subject was geography. Although she would have been a great help pointing oui the interesting moan lain ranges and Rivers on Earth to the Captain mrs. Dunlap was a very Lough disciplinarian and i tear she would have made the Crew Olarra in the Corner most of the trip for whispering with out permission. She also had a practice of making Stu dents who did l do their Homework leave inc classroom. Since no one Ever dared disobey i m afraid half the astronauts would wind up hanging on the outside of the shuttle waiting for permission to come Back in. Our homeroom teacher mrs Amos would have been another Story. She might have been just the right person forthe shuttle ride except for one thing. Mrs. Amos was very Broad in the hips Loo Broad i m afraid to have squeezed into the Cabin certainly too Broad to be weightless in  Don t have to take my word for this. Just ask Milton Stevens who made a sketch on showing How Broad mrs. Amos was. One of the worst threads a sevc a Grade student could make 10 another was "1 Hope you gel caught in the coat closet with mrs.  what of miss Gomez she would have been a Good Choice except she was already famous. Her brother was Thomas Gomez the movie actor. As Long As i knew her miss Gomez was Richer introduced by her own name but always As inc the sister of Thomas  so White miss Gomel might have been excellent i m certain Nasa would never let a teacher who had a famous brother lift off from the Cape. The a Cal candidate that would have been considered if the shuttle flight had taken place 47 years ago is mrs. Egorkin my English Leachjr. If she had n fault it was that she always insisted on being in charge. I Don t be Tiec mrs Egorkin would go on the space trip unless shews assured in writing that she would be. Captain of the Mission. Mrs. Egorkin s other weakness was she would never let anybody go to the bathroom unless hey raised heir hand. My mind drifts to the final nominee mrs. Laub a potential Winner. Mrs. Laub would have met All Shenasa Public relations criteria. First she was adored by her pupils. Second she would have looked great in an astronaut s suit. She would have had no problem posing upside Down for the cover of people Magazine or walk ing along Cocoa Beach with Barbara Walters lulling what it s like to be a wife Mother and teacher and still have time to orbit Earth. If she had a flaw it was Hal she would never go on a space Mission if it interfered with giving u lest. Weil there is my jilt of candidates. Every child and grown up has some educator he or she would like to Send Anlo space. What makes America great is thut not Only you mrs. Macau Tiff but every teacher in the country has what i Call for Lack of a better name the right  in lot Attak time by Eugene Sheffer across cartographer creation 4 tree of Guiana 8 center12 Starlet s cause of conflict 13  14 first husband 15 space module 16 to show for the fomt18 Home of Tell