European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 21, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and stripes Friday february 21.1986 today s crossword spy who went ouf info fhe cold by Russell Baker news bulletin unknown vandals damaged several strings on the grand piano Al american ambassador Arthur hurl Nan s Moscow residence just hours before Vladimir Felts Man a prominent pianist and jewish dissident was to perform there. One string had been Cut three others Bent and two More put out of tune. After he cold War went into its musical phase i had a cull from the Agency. You used in cover the while House under Eisenhower the Guy said. I told him to keep telling me about myself As i sounded like a fascinating fellow. In those Days you Hung out in a Gin joint Down the Hill from Camp  All us reporters Hung out in Gin joints in those Days 1 said. In those Days a reporter could get fired for hanging out in wine spritzer  and you used to gum up their pinball machines by putting Ketchup in the Coin slots he said. So what Copper so what do you know about gumming up Wood winds he replied. Thus began my new career. I still recall the rage i Felt As a newcomer to longhair warfare when the Agency s classical music division heard what the Kab had done to the Philadelphia or Chestra s piano while it sat unguarded on a Leningrad stage. Itching powder smeared Over the keyboard was pushing things a bit , i cried i would gladly Volunteer for an assign ment of the greatest delicacy. The chief known even to the president Only Asb Flat outlined the problem the soviet embassy in Washington planned a party to celebrate Karl Marx s birthday. The embassy s a Giboss who had become the world s Foremost bassoonist As a cover for his espionage activities intended to per form just a Guy called Karl a Bassoon Solo of his own  assignment avenge the itching powder on the Philadelphia orchestra s Steinway unfortunately the embassy party was for comrades Only so few outsiders Learned of the Kab Man s Tempe Tantrum three minutes into his Solo after discovering that his Bassoon had been stuffed with three pounds of Peanut butter Chunky  Learned though and the Kab Man was re assigned to Australia under orders to become the world s Foremost performer on the Didgeridoo. We knew the Kab would reply viciously. We had seen most of its tricks sawing off the piano legs so Vladimir Horowitz had to lie hat on his stomach to play Beethoven s Eroica filling the Chicago symphony s Drums with Slipovitz. This Lime though we expected something diabolical. That s when a Flat said "1 want you to go Oul into the  had seen enough spy movies to know what that meant a Flat wanted me to become a double agent gain the Confidence of the Kab classical music warfare group and find out what Moscow was planning. Afterwards Flat would have to let the Kab kill me to prove he was not a sentimentalist but somebody they could do business with. This was Fine with me because being with the other Side would make my Book twice As valuable after i left the Agency especially if neither the Kab nor a Flat Mam cd to get me killed. So in no time at All musically inclined comrades were meeting me on Park benches where i Learned about Moscow s research on conductors Batons. Scientists working in caves hidden behind the ural mountains had been toiling to produce a pure White Peppermint stick so indistinguishable from a conductor s Baton that not even a child could Tell that the Sweet Sticky confection was nol simply a dry stick for waving at fiddle players. When warmed by the conductor s handling though the Peppermint would melt an coat his hands with Sweet Gluey sugars that would have him frantically Licking his fingers before vast audiences. One night on a Washington Park Bench i Learned that soviet science had scored the breakthrough. Peppermint Batons were already in a dozen american symphony Halls. That very night their first victim was to be Leon Ard Bernstein conducting the National symphony be fore a Washington audience. 1 recalled that Bernstein liked to embrace his audiences after performing and so having led both a Flatland my Kab assassins to the concert 1 left both of them glued firmly into Bernstein s beautifully express Ive hands quit the Agency and went Back to reporting. Sure it s drab but it s not the dumbest work around. C new York Tolmei six Morffis a foes f cover 18 years by Ellen Goodman our Friend is at the end of her last lumbering Trimes Ter. At lunch toasting the imminent birth of her first child with club soda and Lime we wish her Well. In return she tallies up her vacation time and maternity leave. She will be out of work six months that should just about do it. Later the three of us who Are already mothers Waldback across town together. One whose two school age children have been through a Winter of flu and measles laughs sardonically and says you know i think i could use maternity leave  another whose son hashed a Tough time launching himself into High school seconds hat motion. I Tell them about my own fantasy. While our preg Nant Friend was counting up her Days i wondered what it would have been like to have such a Fine Pool of Days to draw from slowly. What a luxury for parents who. Might use those months of leave one Day at a time Over several years. Our Friend is Lucky. Her company is by Many Stan Dards generous with leave. And yet we already know it in t enough. It occurs to me As we go Back to our separate offices How much attention there is on infant leave these  world that we All work in is being wrenched into reality. Today half the pregnant working women will be Back on the Job within a year. A Bill introduced by rep. Pat Schroeder  proposes that we Grant new parents a minimum of 18 weeks of unpaid leave with Job Protection. A Yale study recommends child care leaves of six months with 75 percent pay for half that time. And yet even those who lobby even those who fashion these vast improvements know they won t be enough. I wonder sometimes whether in a Subtle Way the current emphasis on parental leave creates another Spe Cial class in the work Force. Will the attention focus Don those with newborns allow employers and legislators to pretend that the conflicts Between work and family Are temporary limited to the earliest months of life. Six months should just about do  infancy is the time of overwhelming need and helplessness. But if new parents Are segregated from the rest of us then employers May go on dealing with car taking As an extraordinary problem in the life of a otherwise Normal worker. They May go on thinking of most workers As Carefree. And it just in t so. My lunch mates with their Wistful musing about be lated maternity leave give testimony to that. Mothers and fathers alike can list their longings for an extra piece of time to spend on their children whether those children Are is Days or 15 years old. Do the parents of newborns come first in terms of Public policy absolutely. But i must pass on the Mes Sage from my lunch companions. Maternity leave like infancy itself is just the beginning. 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