European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 13, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 16r the stars and stripes tuesday May 13, 1989 the Best manat marriage different perception sit " " by Thomas Ferraro United press International a tip to newlyweds in search of a Happy and lasting marriage Don t divorce your friends so say marriage Counselor psychologists and family relationship experts who have found Iasi maintaining Good lies outside the Home helps build Strong Bonds inside lha Home. Friends provide a support system Lor a marriage 1 said or. Fran Lockson Markman an assistant professor of communications a i the University of Colorado at give you a mechanism to express yourself she added they help prevent a couple from becoming isolated and. Being too dependent preach 19b2. Dickson Markman surveyed 230 married people and found that those who had friends with wham hey could share ideas and confidences enjoyed married Fife the most. Gary Emery a los angelas based marriage Counselor believes it is crucial. To stay in touch with old friends even if your new spouse does t care for them. You be got to be True to yourself said Emery who teaches psychology at the University of Southern California and at the University of California at los argetes. Be Able to accept the act thai your wife does t like your friends he advised. I be seen cases where a Parson gives up a group of friends because his wife does t like them and then becomes resentful at his wife of course like anything worthwhile. Friendship after marriage is Best when taken in moderation if the bridegroom keeps playing softball four or five nights a week with the Guys he could Well end up striking Oul at Home. And if the Bride spends More time Laiking with her close friends than with her naw husband she May soon be telling her confidantes Aboul the breakup of her marriage. The experts especially agree on one caveat about love and marriage and men dump make sure you have an understanding and trusting spouse if you plan to spend a lot of Lime with a pal of the opposite sex. But in most cases reports Robert _ ". Illardo a sociologist at the University of Maine Al Oro to couples who say i do to each other Lurn around and say Good Bye to chums at least temporarily at the same time he said newly weds tend to become More dependent on family members which can backfire and cause in Law tension. Friends and family both provide support but Kin is More Likely to interfere he said. Friends Don t interfere because if they do after a while Thoy Are no longer in Milardo slew friends provide us whal Tohm in fraction men heirloom women his earning Counti in a marriage men her ability to make love shared interests. Women How Well lie handles her parents How Well each gets along with the order s friends marital Wim the couple doing men Well in communication finances relationship with parents listening to each other. Tolerating each other s Haws Romance. Women not of Well. In allot the above. H it. New a x Tim graphic with a lot of goodies we take for granted advice a moans for social comparison someplace to vent frustration. Gertrude Blanck a new York City based psychologist who collaborated with her husband Rubin Blanck of marriage and personal development said friends offer an important Bultel. The husband May want to go to a fool Ball game and the Wile May want to do other things say spend a Day shopping she said. But they May nol want to do this with each other. A Friend provides company Lor these activities without friends the needs and demands on a marriage partner May become More than she or he can or want to Caroline Sparks a clinical psychologist and the director of the feminist Institute in Washington said friends Are particularly important in the increasing Mobile american society. Many couples Don t live near their families she pointed out. They need to make friends to maintain a support network. They can t expect to depend on their spouse Lor Sparks said couples can try to share friends but Don t count on it to think it is very rare for a Friend of one partner to become close to the other she said. It s particularly difficult to find a couple who will be Good friends with another couple. Finding Lour people with common interests is the Healthiest marriages Sparks concluded olten Are those in which individuals have their own something borrowed from ancient times United press International t he Bride s gown May be the latest design and the couple May write their own. Modern ceremony but la s a rare wedding that does t include at feast one age old tradition. The bridal Shower the wedding cake Rice and old shoes and the honeymoon Are among those customs widely practice but rarely understood by Beer clued couples. In act wedding traditions olten Slem from ancient limes and faraway countries and most have surprisingly practical origins according to the Bride s Book of etiquette. Published by Bitae s Magaline lha etiquette Book tracks Down the rooms of the most popular nuptial standbys including the bridal Shower a custom which reportedly started in Holland with a dutch girl who wanted to marry a poor Miller. Her lather who opposed the match refused to give her a dowry and so the Miller s friends showered the Bride with gifts to help her set up housekeeping. The wedding ring whose circular shape has been a Symbol of unending Lave since the Days of Early Egypt. The ring Finger a custom which has two origins an ancient belie lha a vein in the third linger of the left hand ran directly to the heart and a medieval religious practice of placing the ring on three lingers to symbolize the father son and holy spirit of the Trinity. The bridal veil a Symbol of virginity in Early Greco roman times and in contemporary Arab countries the veil probably became a popular bridal custom in America after Nellie Custos George Washington s granddaughter decided to Wear one when her Fiance was enchanted by the sight of her through a lace curtain at an open window. The White gown while did not become a Symbol of bridal purity until the beginning of the 20th Century in victorian times while was a sign of affluence and in Early roman times h was a Symbol of Celebration the bridal bouquet Flowers have held emotional significance for centuries. Roman brides carried herbs for Fidelity greek brides sported Ivy for unbreakable love and the ancient Saracens invented the modern tradition of Orange blossoms from a tree that blooms and bears fruit Al the same time As a Symbol of conjugal Bliss. The bridesmaids bouquets Early attendants carried sprigs of garlic and other pungent herbs to Ward off evil spirits and safeguard the newlyweds. Something Blue in ancient Israel brides wore Blue on the Border of their Robes to represent modesty Fidelity and love. Blue is also the color that represents the Virgin Mary in Christian religions. The broken Glass in jewish ceremonies at the end of a jewish wedding a wine Glass is wrapped in a cloth and placed on the ground and the Groom smashes the Glass with his tool not Lor Good Luck As is commonly believed but As a reminder of the destruction of the holy Temple and of other travails which the jewish people should not forget even in the midst of a joyous Celebration the wedding cake the Multi tiered decorated cake started out As a thin loaf broken Over the Bride s a vhf 2sozs. Ite Ink Fly Rice and old shoes in Many cultures Rice is a Symbol of p Amy and Fertility in the Orient it Means May you always have a full among Early Good in a skit in changed As Tozere Osgood lath during business Iran actions. During modern iras a red Slipper is losses onto the Rudoj of a House to show a honeymoon in Progress the honeymoon the term has it origins in an carrying the Bride Over the threshold to
