European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 9, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and stripes wednesday july 9,1986 an indecent burial for Salt ii by Art Buci Iwald a tall official looking Man. Wilh n Strong resemblance to George Shultz drove up to a dump site in new Perccy. He said to another Man leaning on a shovel. The presi Dent wants to Bury this Salt if Locaty As quickly at Possi  Why in new jars Cut the Man with the shovel asked. He did t say where he wanted in dumped but our undemanding is thai once it s buried Here no one Willever find in  Why do you want to Dum p a Salt treaty the Man who looked like George Shultz replica. Be cause it s obsolete and has no relevance it s never been signed and there is no sense abiding by its weapon limits when inc russian Are constantly cheating. Now Siart  " Are you sure you want in buried of course i m sure. Every pan of it is dead and we must make certain that in never haunts us  the Man with the shove measured the treaty and Brgan digging a Hole. Then he slopped. Musi thought of something. If their Side cheated on Salt ii. Why arc you now negotiating Wilh them on another weapons t Craty won t they cheat on that one too?"1 they probably will. And when they do. Well Bury  the Man said. We Only have so much dump spa for nuclear treaties. How deep do you want me to go for Salt ii the Man who was the spilling image of Georges Hulu said since in has ceased to be an effective vehicle for averting a  nuclear confrontation i would say at least six  you want to save some of the i scaly just incas you need it for later i Don t want any of  the Man who looked like George Shutlz said angrily. Now hurry up i have 10 get Back to inc  a car drove up and a Man who looked exactly like Donald Regan jumped out and ran to the Edge of the grave. Hold  he said. The president has changed his  the George Shultz look alike said he can t change his mind Abou Salt ii. He said it was   said Don Regan s double. He s announced to the world that Salt is Mill Active and breathing. The press wants to Sec inc Salt 11 treaty because you made such a Deal about it being  the Man with the shovel said. Arc you Guys in Washington crazy you Tell me to Bury Salt ii. So i be been shovelling do All Over it. Now you say it s alive. Thai s no Way 10 treat a  the Man who would be Regan said to the George Shultz Man. The president wants Salt ii Back in the while House before inc neat press briefing. He s going to Slick Wilh the i scaly until he meets with Gorbachev the George Shultz twin said i should have been consulted if he was going to change his  he did t change it it was the first thing thai came to his mind. Come on. What s inc difference if we go Wilh Salt 11 or we Don to it makes me look stupid. I Don i like to use some thing As a bargaining Chip which i say is dead and the president says is  the Man in the grave was sweeping the dirt off the pages Wilh a Broom Here s inc treaty that you say in Worth the paper in s Pri a cd on. The next Lime you bring one of these out Here gel your signals straight. I have Abad  the Man who would be Shultz said to the Gravedigger sternly if anyone asks atm about the last time you saw Salt ii say in was alive and kicking and raring to Stop world War  Letim Yangmi tonn of atm too Many doctors in the House by Andy Rooney there Are too Many doctors according to a report is sued recently by the american med icat association for me 10 believe thai i d prefer to have had he report issued by patients instead of Dolors. I d like to gel together a panel of patients who Hud just spent inc morning Silling in a wailing room before being admitted Tor an right min ule session Wilh the doctor. It also would be interesting to find out what someone thinks who became desperately ill in say Kumquat Iowa and almost died before he got to the nearest doctor 60 Mill saw ayin fort Dodge. There arc hundreds of communities in the United Stales that have no doctor. In some or them a doctor would have a hard time making the doctor s average $108,000 a year but if a doctor in a Small town could make say $60.000. Or about three limes Ai much As the High school principal makes would that be a bad Deal the idea that there Are too Many doctors comes up every year. In s As wrong ii scar Asil was last year. There arc not Loo Many doctors. There Are not enough doctors and until each or us is assured immortality inert will never be enough doctors. Let me know when All pain and suffering Are Over. Call me when cancer is a thing of the past and when aids is a memory like diphtheria and then i la agree there Are enough doctors. Most of us hold the medical profession in High esteem t do. We seem to have a higher regard for doctors than doctors have for themselves. T Hope they Aren t right. Or. James Sammons the executive vice president of inc Ama. Says there s an overproduction of physicians and he wants to Cut Down on me number of people admitted to medical schools and on the number of foreign doctors admitted to practice in the United slates or. Sammons denies in but he s talking about doctors income not patients health when he says there Are too Many doctors. The Ama spends Loo much Lime on every thing but Medicine. The report says Loo Many doctors could mean that a doctor s skill might deteriorate because the physician May not perform certain procedures frequently enough to maintain a High level of  you mean they need to practice the report also says that because there arc too Man specialists some doctors might be driven into general practice. I Don t know enough to argue that Point but if True is in terrible if enough doctors Are driven Oul of plastic surgery. Kumquat Iowa May gel a doctor of ils own someday. Maybe doctors will even Start making House Calls again. The Ama sounds like a bricklayers Union. The Brick layers want to limit membership in the Union so there will always be More bricks that need to be Laid than there Are bricklayers to Lay them. Doctors Don l want a lot of Young doctors offering their services Tor less so they can pay Back the Money they borrowed to gel through medical school. Everyone in any business wishes there weren t so Man people in in. Established lawyers complain that Law schools arc turning Oul Young lawyers faster than the Legal profession can absorb them. Newspaper reporters wish there weren t so Many Bright Young people coming out of College who want to be reporters. In Many hospitals across the country doctors trained in medical schools in India the Philippines and Mexico arc doing the dirty work. They re working the Long night shifts doing the install surgery on no pay patients in the emergency rooms and generally providing medical serv ices that would otherwise be neglected. If foreign doctors Are trained in approved teaching hospitals the Only thing wrong with their working Here is that they Are cheating the country they left. Or. Sammons objects to their presence Tor the same reason Lee Iacocca would like to keep japanese cars out of the United states. 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