European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 29, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Ann Landers tuesday july 29, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 11 letters dear Ann Landers i read with interest the letter in your column from the woman whose husband had stopped talk \ i ing to her. My wife put it on my dinner plate last night. " As usual there Art two sides to even Story. Here is my Side Early in our marriage my wife a took an adversarial position every Lime i opened my Mouth. For example if i said ii looks like we re going to have a Beauty Ful Day " she would reply not really. The forecast says Well have showers by  wife has a rare Talent for turning the most be Nign remark into a full blown fight. J could be talking about a baseball game and suddenly she would attack me for something i said to her 10 Yean ago. I finally decided the Only Way to avoid the screaming fights was to simply Stop speaking to her. That s exactly what i did. Divorce is out of the question because we work together and have a highly successful business. So you see Ann there Are always two sides to every Story. You Only get one Side of it at a Lime and of course the person who writes slants the Story to favor him or her self. Neve wheless 1 find your column fascinating. A different kind of marriage in Northern California Dearduff Yon Call that marriage sounds like pair of dutched mules to at. New that Hoove told me your Aid in like to hew from your wife. Hud her this column. Her reply conure the fint step toward decent life for in both. I Hope Yon will find the next letter interesting. Dear Ann Landers my wife passed away recently. While going through erne of her old papers i came across this poem that the had clipped from your column. That dear woman was great admirer of yours. Please print it again someday. It is Good lonesome at 73 in Missouri dear my thank for asking. Here it is Wosoba was made from the rib of Mas. She mum created from us head to open. Nor from us fret to be stepped on. She we Node from hit be to be equal to him. From beneath his aim to be protected by him. No his heart to be Iod by him. Dear Ann Linden the letter about lie Clergyman who broke the Confidence of a parishioner moved me to write about some thing that has been on my conscience for several years. Please Tell me if you think i was right or wrong. In 1974 a 15-year-old girl came to me to talk about her troubles. I am minister s wife she had confided in me from tune to time but on that particular visit she sounded almost suicidal. I decided to Alert her Mother to the seriousness of the situation. The woman had no idea things were so bad. The Young girl did not speak to me for a Long Lime. I m mire she knew i had spilled the Beans. Wail Justi fied i was willing to risk the Friendship to possibly save her life. An exception in Ohio Deu sex Stry dear. You Brake a Confidence and no Amoona of  pm nuke it Rutht. Pm shold turn rat the girl to Futek Profest lout help and arranged for tic Piil to St her. She could then Hart told far Mother to Imker u Little m she wanted. 0 Kiwi Anta spa Btu policy on dependent space a travel my question concerns military hops. I would like to know whether spouses and dependents can take a hop without the Active duty person present i be heard yes they can no they can to Only once a year at Christmas. If dependents can take hops please make this Clear i they can to i would like to know Why. Most military Are stationed overseas for three years. A lot of Low Grade personnel s families can t afford to go Home on a commercial flight. Even charter flights Aren t exactly cheap a lot of families have children Here and need logo Home for a Short while. Parents Are not always Rich or retired to just pick up and leave for overseas either. In order for military personnel to do their Best they have to have a Good Home life. The wife is the one to set the mood for he Home. If she feels that All of the Watts Are closing in. And a tremendous amount of stress the family will feel this and it will show in the military person s work name withheld Ilia it a Germany this letter concerns the army regulation on space a travel. Why Aren t military dependents allowed to travel space a without the sponsor space a travel is a Nice switch for travel to the United Stales and other areas. But with the Cost of civilian flights Home Why not open space a travel to dependents it s not like the dependents would be taking up or requiring More seats but Only waiting for a seat when someone else with order cancels. How often does a Warvi remember have the time to Wail on space a travel most service member would Fly Home civilian for leave because they can make reservations. Dependents can waste time in airports without the worry of being Back on a certain Dale. Nan withheld Folda Germany i would like to know the reason family members cannot Fly space a without their sponsors. My husband is going on temporary duly to the states Tor six weeks. I would like to go Home for a vacation while he is there but not for the whole Lime. My child had 10 Complete school. Yes we could have taken her out and enrolled her in a school in the states but for Ivi months or less i Don t think it would be Worth it so the Bottom line is have to pay because i cannot Fly spice a without him. 1 do believe the individual in the service should have priority on this when toy emergency etc., is present but the family members should have the Opportunity to Fly space a Alto. Granted we Are not in the service but we Are Over Here supporting our husbands or wives in every Way possible. We Are Here helping them study for the Board lending them an ear and shoulder when they need someone to talk to and taking care of things while they Are in the Field or on any other duty. They have the Opportunity to Fly space a for vacations and i think the family members should also get the same Opportunity. Soldiers sacrifice a lot by being Over Here but please remember we tend to suffer Loo Cindy Howard Heidelberg editor s note it. Col. William a Bennett operations officer 435th Aerial port so replies thank a for expressing concern and interest in the space it blk travel program. This program is much publicized and considered one of the military member Best Beims. The department of defense with guidance from the Murke establishes policy on who is eligible to Trail in the Dod transportation system and Whit priority of blk debt each category of traveler has. At in sent the following Are some of the policies in to let which pertain to your questions. The majority of space a travellers Art Active duty personnel with or with Otto family member on Ordinary Lew. Normally Balty numbers wanting to Intel spec a most be accompanied by the military sponsor Irhn must be on Tarn. The exception is for personnel stationed in entry Untal and morale leave Mel areas designated by the director. Personnel and administration a european com. Family member on Mel orders Are no nully Antho had two trip a year to specific destinations without their sponsor. The it Fence to once a year at Cru has May Hare pertained to travel by students Rad la in the Continental United slates. In the part students frequently took once year unaccompanied space Mai late trip to be with the family Over the holidays. Sta Dent Enrel is now normally funded As is emergency lore. Student travelling in a funded status Are not eligible for an use coup Tatum since available trip in the tame year. If too would like to View this  i Grater detail or have other Pitt Tiiu about Trail on military aircraft you local passenger service facility normally the transportation management office or installation transportation office shold be ask to assist you id to song Dod military Standard transportation and movement pc Ducs Cylde. If we can be of further assistance please visit our do Tunger terminal or Call re ten Maln a a 330 7477 Mil or 06w99-7477 Civ. Being passed Over not the end of career speaking from experience being pasted Over for promotion is one of the most difficult things to come to terms with for an officer in any Branch of the. Mili tary. The promotion system is not always just Bui it is the Best we have and the majority of those promoted pen pal i Mould it a put to Murd h nou. I m 10-vw-old a to inv Sutow Luand floor of Kumi Eor con. Id a. I m Kim Muci m motor Mumm no  Momti. I a Owusu Lor to Ftp Yun i Mai Cudmo no Horti ind and tag Ita  w71 Iwa Quitac am my  have genuinely earned that next Grade. The most important thing that you must keep in mind after being passed Over is to never give up on to Uncle or the Tyr Tom. It is easy to blame the Oer system and raters but the focus should not be on what happened in the past. You must concentrate your efforts to remain positive an jump right Back into the mainstream. The measure of a True professional is the ability to overcome obstacles and commit your energies toward rectifying a perceived injustice. As Long As you believe in yourself As a professional and continue to Prew on with dogged determination a Good commander will go the limit for you. Although the experience of being passed Over is like a Lead weight on your motivation re evaluate yourself and regain control if you feel  Bave earned that promotion then go after it again and if necessary again to prove that you deserve it. 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