European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 7, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns shorts stories leave underwear traditions behind by John Windrow Sutil column my wife bless her hear was going shopping alone the other Day i think she s finally Given up on getting me to accompany her. Do you need anything Ine said. How about a bottle of scotch i ventured. She looked doubtful. Campari i said. It s been hoi lately. Sunn Campari coolers would hit he  she compromised and put it on her list. In t there anything else socks to shirts underwear most of your underwear looks like it s been nailed to the Mast of a Lifeboat that s been lost in the Pacific for the last six  sure i said. Get me some  what kind the said size 3ft," i said is there any other kind of you Only knew she said rolling her eyes. You should see some of the hot Little numbers Thi men Are buying  those Are european men i said. I am n red blooded american .1 Dixie american on lop of it. Plain Dull while traditional a front will do nicely. White to represent purity of  Yau be living in the past she said. Sexy underwear for men is All the  How could anyone but boy George fans gel Xci cd about men s underwear if it had t been for my grandmother t might nut Wear any at All. Gentlemen the once told me with great solemnity always Wear  i had come la spend a few Days at her House in Lown to keep her company and i had t brought along any underwear. I lived in the country and i did t bother with it. Too Busy jumping in and out of swimming holes. She had noticed that i had t brought the pyjamas she gave me for my birthday. So she shirt with some concern she supposed it would be All right if i slept in my underwear. Then it came to tight that i did t have any of thai either. My Mother was called immediately and inti came roaring up in our old duly Dorle Wlllie ,1 paper bag full. She was not amused. Good lord my grandmother told her wringing her hands As she followed her Back to the Cor. I Hope he in t going to take after Cousin  of Mother my suffering Mother said Don t be ridiculous. Why on Earth would he take after Cousin Clyde Cousin Clyde did t Wear underwear either. He said that when he was a Little bitty boy he could t figure out what the Pouch in the front was for so he never took up the habit of wearing in. Everyone found out when he go half tight if a family reunion at Billville and his trousers fell Down. He was getting rather round and had spent the majority of the afternoon hitching up his trousers which were of the Sears and Roebuck baggy Khaki variety. The kind you Wear when you intend to spend the afternoon vaccinating pigs. It was .1 great rollicking reunion with Fried Chicken Watermelon sausage and biscuits Black eyed peas screaming kids Barking dogs and plenty of whiskey and coca cola behind the smokehouse. When Cousin Clyde s trousers fell to his Ankles everything slopped cold. Well one of my fancier aunts from Ickson said arching her eyebrows. Now i know what to buy Clyde for Christ  if she lived in London she could buy him a set for .1 Cool 53 pounds that s about $30or fooling i saw it in an article in the sunday times under the headline Bollom  the copy wrapped around several photos of ,1 Model who looked like he d seen too Many spartacus movies. A store called Browns reported Selling 155 pairs of spandex and polyamide briefs by Nikos of Paris at 55 pounds a  Itiat in the Devit i spandex and polyamide it sounds like a treatment for some nagging disease. I m putting you on spandex and polyamide for the next two weeks the doctor might Sny until this infection clears  or maybe a Blue chips Ock brokerage House you d read about in the up Stock report broker Seymour Weislein of the Walls travel firm of spin fix inf Poi Yamill said the recent Gnu report would or Jae the Market go up unless consumer Confidence failed Loc i a i fire then the Market would remain  t also saw a new York times article about two boutiques in Manhattan that sell sexy underwear for men "$30 patterned silk Bikini briefs in purple red and  j Hale to see this. All the other newspapers probably picked the Story up because in ran in the new York times As a matter of fact we did and All we re talking about is two boutiques in Manhattan. How in the world can two Lousy boutiques in a City of 7 million mean anything to anybody men Are acting More like women every Day and frankly Scarlett we re not ver Good Al it. It s this kind of mess that perpetuates the trend one of the boutique owners in the times article was Ron Lee a former  he opened his store because he was tired of the limited selection and a enticing displays of Many  i would insert a joke Here about hairdressers but i d probably get a lot of mail from hairdressers who claim to drink whiskey out of the bottle rope calves and beat up motorcycle gangs on the weekends so i la just forget it the times piece dwelt on the Heady Issue of what to Call the new men s underwear. We won t use the word lingerie that s too feminine  said. Well thank the lord for Smalt favors. Lee Calls it  i be got a word for it but forget that Loo my wife by the Way returned from the shopping trip with the size 36 Plain Dull White traditional y front underwear. She even brought the Campari bless her heart twice. Next Lime i m going to ask her to pick up some 48s for Cousin Clyde. Up of the Tongue can cause Touchy problems by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners 1 am fully bilingual and devoid of any accent in either language. On numerous occasion have encountered people whose Strong accents clearly indicated that we shared the same native Tongue. I have been Temple to speak to such people in our native language not Only to perhaps make thing a fart easier Tor them but also for the pleasure i derive from speaking in my native language from Lime to time. I have refrained from doing so out of fear that it might offend the other person and be construed a an attempt to indicate that he has an inadequate command of the English language. Therefore i have always wailed or the proper moment if it arose to let it be known that i speak Ihler language. However i have most times been mildly reprimanded by these foreign acquaintances for my failure in Ieav to them in our language immediately. Of course i never ail to mention that the person spoke English so Well in never occurred to me to speak in any other language. Have i been Overly cautious and is it perhaps inconsiderate not to take it upon oneself to speak a foreign language to � foreigner addressing one in broken English gentle Reader what exactly makes you think something is wrong you Are being exquisitely polite with spectacular results. Don t worry about that mild reprimand which is merely part of the mannerly routine and which you properly used to produce another compliment. All this is not to say that it would t also be charming in recognize a former countryman and speak to him in your native language. There should be no Lack of flattering clues to claim a name a common reference a style of humor without having to seize upon such a negative one As poor English. Dear miss manners my companion and i were recently invite Dlo a reception Given by an older couple for Twyl Bung people who Are soon to be married. I know the Young Man quite Well his Fiancee socially and the older couple not at All. It is Clear that the invitation Ivas made it the younger couple s request. I anticipate sending a Nole of thanks after the event. Is it property addressed to the older couple who arc giving the reception or the younger couple who prompted the inv ution or should i write both couples gentle Reader by definition you cannot have attended a reception at a couple s House am claim not to know them. By the time the letter is appropriate you will know them. Ii is the hosts not the guests of Honor who Are thanked for a parly. There is however no Rule against writing the Young couple about your pleasure Al having been included. Dear miss manners what Are the manners of today s business world my husband was recently invited for dinner at the Home of a client a single gentleman who has invited us both to business affairs in the past. The other guests were an employee of my husband and another itchiness Contact with i Girlfriend. Because my husband did not want to impose on his client i spent the evening Al Home with a Book. In similar situations i have assumed that exclusions of one s spouse were an oversight and have asked if i could include my husband. Perhaps i assume too much. Gentle Reader nobody knows what the manners of today s business world Are if any. The Semi business dinner in which ills considered a treat to bring along a private partner for a free meal Al the expense of his or her being bored by business talk is something no one agrees upon. Some people simply refuse to participate in order to have a truly private life others like your husband meticulously Treal Ilas a business event and still others the a Orr a try to extract Wal social pleasure they con from it. The Only solution is to ask. It May be assuming Loo much to believe that not inviting a spouse is an oversight but there is nothing wrong with saying is this Strully business or is my husband wife spouse equivalent invited also August 7, 1986 stripes Itu Guine