European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 25, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes monday. August 2s, 1986 columns Good reasons to skip vacations by Russell Baker new York Are you one of Host people who no longer takes summer vacations remember Why one or he children would always step on a Nail so somebody would interrupt your Nap and say you d boiler take that child to a donor somebody would my let s go fishing and you would have to go because if you were honest and said i Don t like fishing All the other vacationers would soon be saying have you heard there s a creep Vaca lining Here who Doten i like fishing a if you sat in he Shade Reading Marcel Proust s remembrance of thing past one of the children would always ask permission to use the car knowing you would say is rather than submit to accusation that Marcel Proust was dearer 10 you than your own children and in fun she car would come Back dented or with the hubcaps missing. People would keep waking you up All night say ing they heard strange noises and refusing 10 go Back to sleep until you d gone outside with a flashlight and Wade sure Here were no bears around the House. When you went bicycling All the other Scalion ers would jump Inlo their cars and Chase you at High Speed to see if you were one of those cowards who jumps off his Bike and runs rather than have death overtake him Al 70 Miles an hour. There would always be a 15-Ycar-old girl nextdoor so Al 3 . Four boys licensed to drive and to carry radios powerful enough to blast the molars downpour Throat would Park under your bedroom window gunning their motor and playing maximum radio. Neighbouring vacationers would invite you for drinks and offer rugged White wine which lasted like fluid that might have been used for in Sig in cans and you had to drink it. It always made you feel Lite a miserable failure to be the Only vacationer in the neighbourhood who was utterly bored by Tennis so you had to make be Lieve you were really interested so none of the other vacationers would suspect you did t know the diner ence Between a backhand and a pulled hamstring. When you were lying Flat out on the Beach be cause somebody said that after a few painful sunburns your skin would give up and Ian like everybody Els a dozens of cars with big tires would drive extremely close to your head feet and kidney and you had to lie there and not scream because if you did the ear thai had nearly killed you would always step and disgorge Man wearing Arnold Schwarzenegger s spate mus cles 6ad demanding to know if you wanted to Chal Lenge the american Motorist s right to turn bean into Turnpike after Selling the painful sunburn you always had to put up with the contempt of people whose skins tanned to the consistency of writ travelled Alligator Sui leases. All the Lime you were vacationing people would make you feel terrible by asking do you Golf Sari ride horseback do a Lille climbing spelunking diving windsurfing what nothing Al Allf and you would have to say no you did t acc sail Nde my Spe Lunk dive windsurf or even go ballooning which always made you feel bad you realized finally that you would never succeed at summer vacationing. Just As you were doomed never to be a millionaire investment banker so you were doomed always to fail at summer vacations. Thus your Fate never to Golf sail ride climb Spe Lunk dive windsurfer balloon. Never to talk wisely of Subtle distinctions Between ground strokes and Han strings. Never to enjoy the if Rill of Bein aimed at by killer cars while biking and lying on the Beach. Never to drink the tin can rinsing fluid with pleasure. Some Pef peeves Are pretty bad by James kilpath1ck several months her passed since we last rounded up some readers pet peeves. . Bartholomew of satellite Beach fla., has a Prilly one. It s pretty As in pretty soon pretty bad pretty near and even pretty awful. The late . White author of the indispensable the elements of style lumped pretty with Miner very and Little these Are the leeches thai infest the Pond of prose sucking the blood of words. William Buffum of Severna Park mo1., sent in dozen horrid examples of the confusion of lie and Lay As in the officer found the victim laying  the Rule is that by lakes an object we Lay eggs bricks or bats Bui lie is different. The Vio us was lying face Down. Or. Herman Sanler of Liberty s.c., is irked by try  let us Nick with try  from Kirkland Wash John Huether raises a Plain live inquiry what Ever happened to that trusty con Junction not Only. But alsot1 Good question. I was reared by it City editor who was a nut about not Only. But  he demanded the parallel construction every time Rosebud Tan Well not Only at Hia Leah but also 31  if you leave out the also the sentence collapses. T. Quiller in Indianapolis fumes Al the verb form of the noun "orientation.1 he finds in truly ghastly thai first year students and new employees will Orien Tate or be orientated. 1 agree but we re probably fight ing a lost cause. Both Webster s and american Heri Tage define to orientate a to Orient which Folce meant Only to face or Lurn to the  nowadays the meaning of to gel acquainted or to become adjusted has become entrenched. Robert Nopal of Canton Ohio is peeved by the misuse of generally for  he notes thai generally is related to Genus which is one specific kind of something or other what is general pertain so ail of a certain class. Thus conservatives generally Revere the  by contrast usually pertains not to All of a certain class but to most of a  Jordan Brooks of Portland ore., wonders Why people use bring when they mean take example from an associated press glory about a bus crash in May the bus bringing passengers Back Rosania Monica after Art Outing in Reno. Plunged Down a is foot embankment people use bring when hey mean Lake because they Don t know any belter. The distinction always will be observed by careful writers. That bus was taking the passengers Back to Santa  Bandy of Wilmette iii., rightly protests the misuse of  a swimming Pool in a Chicago Park an 11-year old boy recently drowned in less than four feet of water. A newspaper reporter called it a Fluke  nope. A Fluke is a stroke of Luck. This its a Freak Accident something markedly unusual or a  w. Denny of Martinez ga., object to the use of due to As in due to rain the game was  the preferred construction is owing to or simply  Schwarz of Teaneck  at the use of data As a singular noun. Like criteria Media and Phenomena data always Are or at least they ought to be. Paul Gilmartin of Boulder colo., wants reporters to Stop writing that patient is in critical but stable condition. He says rightly thai Palienie can l possibly be both at the same Lime for critical Means a turning Point and Sia Billy implies no  thing. 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